Thursday, August 31, 2006
What Type of Writer Should You Be?
I found this over at Lory's Blog and figured why not try it and see what it says.

You Should Be a Science Fiction Writer

Your ideas are very strange, and people often wonder what planet you're from.
And while you may have some problems being "normal," you'll have no problems writing sci-fi.
Whether it's epic films, important novels, or vivid comics...
Your own little universe could leave an important mark on the world!

A Sci-Fi Writer? Strange? I have problems with being Normal?

What is "Normal" anyway but a silly setting on my washing machine.

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:50 PM   6 comments
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
My Little Sister
I grew up the eldest of three sisters all about 6 years apart. Although both are special to me I had spent more time growing up with Kathy. We even had to share a room together when the youngest was born. Here are 13 memories that I often remember to bring a smile when I need it the most. Who knows, maybe they'll make you smile too!

1. The Metal Colander or as Mom only called it, "The Spaghetti Strainer." We didn't have a dishwasher growing up - I was the dishwasher and while Kathy was still at the table being forced to finish up her nasty supper I would put this thing on my head and act like an Alien from Outer Space to get her to smile and laugh.

2. We had some sort of twisted obsession with words that ended with the suffix "age". For example; Luggage, Baggage, Village and Roughage.

3. Blue Birdie. This one may go over everyone's head but kids have a way of seeing things from their own perspectives. Around the age of two Kathy would bounce in her car seat with joy when ever we drove by a Water Tower, in particular a bright blue one in Williamstown, NJ. I think she thought it was a mutant ostrich type of monster bird with its head in the sand. I haven't a clue - but forever on out every water tower was called a Blue Birdie.

4. Kathy never ever tattle-taled on me, not even once. How cool was that? I could trust her and still can trust her with anything under the sun.

5. Chest! Another one that may go over some heads and another 2 year old perspective. There was something about seeing a fire hydrant that made Kathy shout "Chest!" We weren't allowed nor told to use other euphanisms for "Breasteses" - all we knew was that Boobs had to be called Chests. I suspect something about Fire hydrants reminded her of nipples. Oh well, what can I say - she was born twisted and I love it!

6. If anything could have sucked worse than having your Mother chaperon a Jr. High School dance - it would be having your Mother bring your little sister with her!! However this wasn't the case at my 7th grade Halloween dance. While I hung out like a wallflower with my girlfriends, Kathy was mingling around and getting to know everyone, including the hottest guys in school!!! Guys who didn't even know I existed until that wonderful night. The following Monday morning in school I had new friends and a boyfriend who thought my little sister was the coolest kid ever.

7. Did you ever know someone who had a face shaped in the shape of an octagon? We do! But I can't elaborate anymore because this person is in the family and may be reading my blog.

8. The McDoodles! These were our elderly next-door neighbors. Mr. McDude would always sit outside and chill with his afternoon stogie. Mrs. McDude would run around all day - even to go shopping in her nightgown and curlers. But... after 10pm every night she'd let her hair down and they'd run around their house naked. Kathy and I knew because we spied them out from our darkened bedroom window.

9. Exploding Hoptoads. This certainly wasn't Kathy's favorite of moments but I giggle a bit whenever I think of it. She loves animals and should have been a Vet of all things. Even Hop Toads that gave us warts were beloved pets and friends of the wild outdoors. Until she saw one of my boyfriends having a ball sticking firecrackers in them and blowing them up. She was so tormented over the fate of those poor little froggies.

10. She did like all of my other boyfriends, especially if they brought some M&M's and a nip of Southern Comfort with them. (Inside Joke)

11. If there is anything worse than selling Girl Scout Cookies it is not being able to have any or to afford your own box. We got creative one year and carefully opened a box of Thin Mints to take out one roll of cookies and replaced them with an open roll of Dad's Ritz Crackers. We glued the box shut so you couldn't even tell and sold it to some people who lived way across town. Geez, thinking back now - they must had been some pissed off people. Glad we didn't get busted!

12. On boring nights Kathy would read from my "little black book" of phone numbers to get my reaction on if I would ever date again or like any certain guy that she called out. Each and every time she read out, "Eddie Nelson" I'd respond with a big screaming double "Eeeeeeeewww Never!!!" Can you believe I ended up marrying the guy?! I can't.

13. Last but not least I remember all the times we used to go back in the quarry pits and sand dunes to go sledding in the snow. We had lots of fun until I tried sledding down suicide hill and busted the back of my head against a rock. She was so worried about me and I was seeing green and nauseated. She cried. She cared. She helped me home.

Have a Great Thursday Everyone!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:56 PM   38 comments
Take it to the Mattresses
Margaret: "Been following your weblog for sometime and been wanting to share an issue but not sure if you can help. You say PCOS, depression and a few things that my wife seems to have and I am worried and a bit frustrated on what to do after 12 years of this. She used to be happy and fun until after her pregnancy like a switch and I dont know how to reset it. Some could be my fault as I don't know the right thing to do or say or try. She bitches about my video game playing I bought games we could play together it works for a few days and she becomes disinterested. She gained lot of weight and it does bother me only because I know it really bothers her and effects her going out to visit family, work and destroys her confidence and her motivation. My motivation and i feel worry because our daughter may be learning to go in the same direction. I love my wife with all my heart and our daughter i just dont know what to do anymore." - McX from VA

Dude McX,
One of my favorite scenes in the classic movie The Godfather was "Take it to the Mattresses." Dude, when you have a painful boil on your butt the only way to get relief is to painfully pop it so it can begin to heal.

You first need some alone time with your wife maybe when your daughter is at a friends or spending the night with a relative. You then need to Gird thy Loins, declare your love for her and have a painfully honest conversation with until you both end up crying and discuss ways to resolve your issues.

I say it is going to be painful because she is a Victim of Depression. She will be very defensive and not admit fault because honestly it isn't her fault for feeling and acting so down and unmotivated. Depression is like being in a small prison cell that you so disparately dream of being out of yet you remain there because within these walls you feel safe. She may even daydream and fantasize of what she would be like if she had a choice or chance for change. From being thin, happy to pretty and desirable. The thing is, she doesn't have access or support in a choice and instead feels trapped.

Dude, this is where YOU come in with Loins girded and declaring your true feelings, worry, desire and most of all Love for her. You have to communicate this or she'll be forced to make assumptions and some assumptions that are "mistaken" vibes that she gets from you due to the lack of communication and non-constructive arguing. (Sound familiar?) I won't lie to you, you will argue during this sit down talk and things can get crazy - but you have to break the ice if you want it to get better.

Keep in mind and know, it took her 12 years to get where she is today and change will not happen overnight. Find out her fantasies and dreams of how she would one day like to see herself and support them. Make a plan for each one and be by her side through the thick and thin of things.

Research options for getting medical attention also - from a Doctor to help her with her weight and health to a Doctor to help her with emotional issues. Go with her whenever possible. Sit the game controller down for heaven's sake and go with her out of your love and willingness to support her. Walk with her, diet with her and hold her when she slips now and then. Be her partner!

As for your daughter, I don't know what age she is - but it is never too soon to set a wonderful example that she will naturally follow. Your wife can set an example by displaying the courage it takes to pull back together. The example and standard YOU will set for her on what a wonderful husband will be like. Do you want her to fall in love and marry someone who holds a video game controller 40 hours a week? No, you would prefer a strong, supportive and loving husband. Be that and you can't go wrong. Best wishes. -Margie
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:36 AM   8 comments
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Time for a Threesome
(Borrowing this from Snarkypants who is one of the most awesome of peeps that I've come to know on the Blogosphere.)

Everything comes in threes: Good things, bad things, deaths, births, curses, blessings, etc. So here are the threes of my life.

Things that scare me: Weather (from Hurricanes, tornadoes to Thunderboomers), Disney's Tinkerbell and War/Conflict.

People who make me laugh: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert and Adam Sandler.

Things I hate the most: Gossip, Bigotry and Ignorance.

Things I am doing right now: Bloggin', Smokin' a Camel and drinkin' Coffee.

Things I want to do before I die: Become a Great-Grandma, write a Sci-Fi novel and play volleyball with a sea-lion.

Things I can do: Eat, breathe and sleep.

Ways to describe my personality: Fair, true and friendly.

Things I can not do: Corporate accounting! (Ugh!), speak a fluent language other than English and Pilot a plane.

Things I think you should listen to: Our children, our hearts and our dreams.

Things you should never listen to: Lies, Commercialism and Gossip.

Things I would like to learn: Cake decorating, another language and scuba diving.

Favorite Foods: Sushi, creme brulee' and cheeseburgers.

Beverages I drink regularly: Coffee, Peach Iced Tea and Milk.

TV Shows I watched as a kid: Happy Days, The Munsters and Little House on the Prairie.

Things I do not understand: Why cockroaches aren't on the endangered species list yet. Our Government current and past. Religion. (Not "Faith", faith I understand to be the belief in possibilities and even the miracle of scientific impossibilities. Religion and the imposition on what we can NOT do or BE is what baffles me.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:02 AM   11 comments
Monday, August 28, 2006
In the Cone!
Oh how I hate this time of year! The last time I peeked at the National Hurricane Center site, Ernesto was supposed to go west of Florida and into the Gulf. Today he seems to have changed his mind.

That's me frowning there by 8am Thursday morning when Ernesto is predicted to be a Hurricane. If all goes right he'll keep his speed down to a Category One and hang out to the east of me. However, I know those ocean waters are warm out there and there is no telling if Ernesto is going to decide to kick it up a notch or two.

Here's to hoping Ernesto either runs out of steam or shimmies his butt back out to sea.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 4:09 PM   12 comments
"I'm Melting!"
Since I decided from the beginning only to weigh in on every other Monday I have no idea how much I've lost this week. However, I can shout a few hallelujahs because some clothes are fitting a bit better! My favorite dress now feels at least one size too big when only 2 weeks ago my Boobies were squashed in there quite tightly. Why are they always the first thing to go? I kind of like them the size they are now but I know they are going to deflate from here on out. I wonder if a few bursts of helium will help me to "lift and separate?"

I've been doing research on Insulin Resistance and have implemented two natural "help me outs" to see what happens. The first is Diachrome a natural supplement of Chromium and Biotin made especially for peeps with Diabetes II. Although I don't have Diabetes, I do have problems absorbing insulin and Diachrome is specially formulated to assist insulin to break down blood sugars into energy. Instead of leaving those blood sugars to morph into stored energy otherwise known as nasty fat cells. I've also read that our common spice of Cinnamon has similar qualities.

Today my two week induction is over! I can now go to Phase Two and up my diet from under 20 carbs per day to 25. I'll spend the next few weeks getting to know my foods and their carb content and experimenting with a few different recipes.

My only failures again this past week was my addiction to Sushi. I tried, I really did. Friday night we stayed home and had a delicious fish dinner instead, but all I could think about was what I was missing. By the time Saturday evening rolled around we HAD to have Sushi. They know us well over there at Sakura's and I was able to ask the Sushi Chef if he could add Tamago (egg) and cucumber to my tuna roll and cut down on some of the rice. The result was beautiful. My other failure was stealing two French Fries from Katiebug's Happy Meal. Hey! I couldn't help it! Just smelling those evil things are tempting.

Who knows, with all of this newfound energy and lift of depression I may even start a small walking routine to see how it goes. Here is a very inspirational blog-post that Dr. Andrew shared just last week from another fellow dieter concerning exercise. I am not the exercise type of person and this post gave me a bit of inspiration. As a full time business owner, wife, secretary/accountant to a husband who has his own business and a full time Mother - 30 minutes a day has a price. My next effortless move would be to sit here for the next week and think about ways I could possibly squeeze in such a thing.

I'm such a lazy shit, maybe that is why this diet works so well for me. We will see what the scale reads this time next Monday and I have a feeling I'll be quite shocked. Until then - thank you to everyone for their wonderful support! I also want to shout a big Hello to those Bloggy Buds who are dieting along with me. Everyone is doing so well.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:12 AM   2 comments
Sunday, August 27, 2006
Goodbye Redneck Surround Sound System
Goodbye Redneck Surround Sound System. Hello Kenwood 6.1 Channel, 1000 Watt Home Theater!!

Since we share the same birthday instead of giving one another surprise gifts, my husband and I put our heads together and chip in on something awesome that we both can enjoy. Our impatience got the better of us and we went out yesterday to go get our Birthday Gift a few weeks early.

Now our Redneck Hook up of a Stereo Sound System was fairly impressive considering. However where the bass and volume rocked the house, the balance and clarity were lacking in definition. So off to Wal-mart we went. Hey, what 'ya laughin' fer? Us Rednecks always get our hook ups at Wal-mart!! It's the bomb baby!

But not this time. Oh no, our first system we hauled off and hauled in. Spent a good 2 hours hooking the stuff up and turned it on. Big Disappointment! For starters we need to hook up the DVD, the Stereo, The VCR, the X-Box, the Computer and the Digital Cable box. Needing 6 inputs we had to break back out our old redneck A/B/C/D switch. Katiebug's Barbie Boom-box has more sound potential than this piece of crap had. Back in the box the whole thing went and back we went to Wal-mart.

After zipping that refund back on our Mastercard we left that store and didn't look back. Off to Radio Shack we went. Can you imagine Gon's druelling when he found this sleek and spiffy Kenwood 6.1, 1000W System:

After we zipped this on the Mastercard we hauled it back home, stopping only for some Sushi for dinner and got to hooking the thing up. We can remove Katiebug's Barbie Boom Box out of the equation now. Our living room is small, only 14x14' and it has now turned into one big speaker. Think about it, 1000 Watts puts 50 Watts of sound blasting energy into every square foot of space! All of my fancy little knick-knacks are shimmying off their respectful places!!

Then we popped in an old DVD, "AVP: Alien vs. Predator" and our Basset hounds both are in dire need of Xanex! They are stressed. Heck, even their fleas are tweaked and have left the building. With volume, clarity and perfect balance, excuse my French but this system is 100% kick ass! I highly recommend it for anyone who may be in the market for such a home theater system now or even put on layaway for this Christmas.

(Providing, that is - you don't have any neighbors too close by.)

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:23 PM   8 comments
Saturday, August 26, 2006
Biological Noises
I found this Video over on Open Up and I did manage to laugh my coffee out of my nose! Gon didn't find it too funny but I suspect that is because this is a "Mother Bear Reaction."

Sometimes our kids, even the furry ones can be laying there by our feet sound asleep. Allowing us a bit of quiet time to relax. When out of nowhere can come the most hideous of spontaneous noises. Thankfully this one was only a sneeze. Compared to some toots I've heard come out of the other ends of my kids.

Just 3-4 weeks ago, Bobo our Basset Hound was sleeping soundly by the AC vent when he cut a loud one. It woke him up and he jumped up out of fear. Spun around 4-5 times out of nervousness and hauled his stinky rear out the doggy door..... leaving a steamy nugget behind!

I think even I have done this while sleeping after having some bad Chinese Food the night before.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:51 AM   7 comments
Friday, August 25, 2006
Margie Unplugged
"When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane."

This doesn't mean that you are going the "wrong way."

Back in college a cool kid in my Sociology Class did his term paper on "How to Meet Chicks." He gathered his scientific research at shopping malls and grocery stores in our nearby area. His thesis;

"In America, the increase of a Chick encounter is significant raised if you shop or walk the mall in a clockwise direction. If you always walk to the left you are guaranteed to bump into more potential Chick material."

His paper, although strange in topic turned out to be a very good paper. He proved that in America, whether you drive or not - we are conditioned to fall to the right even when walking. It seems to be the path of least resistance and your chances of collision, alas; chances of bumping into someone are less.

In the popular '90's sitcom Seinfeld, George Costanza bursts in excited about his decision to doing and saying the opposite of what he normally does. His thoughts:

"Why did it all turn out like this for me? I had so much promise. I was personable, I was bright. Oh, maybe not academically speaking, but ... I was perceptive. I always know when someone's uncomfortable at a party. It became very clear to me sitting out there today, that every decision I've ever made, in my entire life, has been wrong. My life is the opposite of everything I want it to be. Every instinct I have, in every of life, be it something to wear, something to eat ... It's all been wrong.

Yes, I will do the opposite. I used to sit here and do nothing, and regret it for the rest of the day, so now I will do the opposite, and I will do something!"

It worked! Until the Wedding Invitation Episode, but nevertheless his life did change for the better. Last Friday in my first edition of Margie Unplugged, I mentioned how I packed up and left NJ after 12 years of marriage. After 30 years of life conditioning to follow the expectations of those around me. "Do the right thing, Marge" "Forgive him. Pray for Him. Don't Divorce."

Then there was the unspoken expectations, like not moving away from family who for the most part, all lived within 25 miles of one another for the past century. Living alone single was bad, driving to far places alone as a single woman was bad and in NJ - pumping your own gasoline is a carnal sin. It was fairly much made clear to me that if I ever did the "opposite" I would fail miserably. The sad part is I had believed that for 30 years.

There is a difference between following your conscience and following your heart. Our consciences are too logical, always throwing in facts and fearful "what ifs". It is our hearts that lead us in the correct way - not necessarily the wrong or right way.

Our hearts know when we are sad and they know what will make us happy. Our hearts even know the difference between responsibility and burden vs. freedom and entrapment. If ever there was a place to store "faith" it would be in our hearts.

Faith can't freely exist entrapped in logic. We've all been raised with logic including the *fact* that our solar system consisted of 9 planets. Yesterday, logic took Pluto away! Some say logic proves there is no God, so that means that someday logic may change up and say there is a God.

Hearts and Faith are unchangeable and immovable. You know in your heart what you dream about and wish for. It is where your passion and drive reside. It can never lead you the "wrong way". There is a bit of magic out there for everyone you just may have to walk to the left and do the opposite in order to "bump into it."

Walk the "other way" to increase your opportunities of picking up Chicks (or Prince Charmings), landing the career of your dreams, starting your own business doing what you love or running smack dab into a miracle.

You can go around quickly in circles like everyone else year after year - or step up on opportunity after opportunity on all the obstacles before you - by choosing the "other way."

Your way.

LIFETIME GUARANTEE: Listen to your heart. You'll get far I promise. Try it for the rest of 2006 FREE and if you don't start feeling your life change for the better - write in and let me know about it. I'll throw in a few New Year's resolutions for you and a whole year of 2007 to try again.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:19 PM   5 comments
Fridays Feast
If you could have a free subscription to any magazine, which one would you like to have?

Only one? Shucks, okay it would have to be either Time or Newsweek.

Describe your living room (furnishings, colors, etc.)

One big Mess! It resembles a hunting lodge or outdoors with natural wood furnishings and floor. My window treatments are of deer, I have bears, rabbits, ducks and geese. American Native Indian figurines and paintings. The accent color is dark forest green. I'm sick of it really and need to tear into it and do something different with a new theme.

What does the shape of a circle make you think of?

Astronomy. The sun, moon, planets (including poor Pluto!) and the way they spin, rotate and travel around one another in orbit. Kind of reminds me of my own life, going in circles and not getting anywhere except further along in time.

Main Course
Name 3 things in your life that you consider to be absolute necessities.

My health. I find it necessary to be physically, mentally and spiritually healthy.

What was the last really funny movie you watched?

"Hitch" with Will Smith. It was romantically funny but not too mushy.

Have a great Friday and a Wonderful Weekend!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:09 AM   16 comments
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Caught between a rock and a......
The female airport security guard held the small, black, squeezable rubber object she'd just plucked out of Mardin Amin's backpack, and eyed it suspiciously.

Standing next to his mother, an embarrassed 29 year old Amin whispered out of one corner of his mouth that it was a "pump" -- as in a penis pump. The guard misunderstood the Iraqi man and thought she heard the word "bomb," Amin's attorney told a Cook County judge Wednesday.

Maybe it's me, but ever since 9/11 Peeps should know that their carry on luggage is going to be searched. Publicly even. Especially if you are flying internationally, then you will have the added complication of custom checkpoints.

Besides the usual security no-nos concerning carry on baggage; such as lighters, the recent liquids, scissors and Granny's killer knitting needles there are some things that would be better off left in your check baggage.

A Penis Pump among other things is one of them, especially if you're traveling with your Mother. Never mind the interrogation this poor guy received from the airport security, police and FBI. Can you imagine how badly his Mom must have grilled him?

Mom: "Why would you bring that thing for? What were you thinking?"

Amin: "But Ma......."

Mom: "There is nothing wrong with your penis size. I should know I've seen it enough times."

Amin: "Please Ma....."

Mom: "God knows your father's was large enough. What were you thinking?"

Amin: "Stop Ma..."

Mom: "Did you think for a moment how embarrassed I would be?"

Amin: "Ma, Stop! You are the one embarrassing me!"

Mom: (Clobbering Amin over the head with purse)

Poor Amin, I almost feel sorry for the guy. This will be the conversation around every family gathering for the rest of his life.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 6:16 PM   6 comments
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
Hurricane Evacuation Must Haves
We're heading into the peak of Hurricane season down here in the Southeast. Our hurricane survivor kit has been stocked since March. However, if we had to evacuate and was told I could only bring 13 things along for the ride, these are what I would choose.

1. All of my pets and I hope I can lump these into being considered as "1" item. I'll be fair and not include the fish and tank, for water is water after all and they'd have a better chance of surviving through a storm surge than through my reckless driving out of town.

2. The Kramer. Yes, you heard right the huge portrait of Kramer that I have hanging above my mantle. He's part of the family and I promised when I first spent the huge bucks to buy our Great Uncle Cozmo, that I would take him with me until the day I die.

3. The computer. Not the monitor, mouse or keyboard and at the very least my hard drive. All of our family photos are digitalized and stored on this as well as on CD. As well as many other items like MP3's and Videos.

5. My daughters security blanket. This is a must. There is no way when I get to where we are going that I'm going to have problems with her missing her "Dee."

6. My own security... um... Teddy bear. I have Fluffy since I was a baby and although it is the most beat up, matted and nastiest looking Teddy Bear on the face of this earth, he's coming with me.

7. My Venus Razor. No kidding, after I discovered this charm and after paying $17.99 for blade refills, it's coming with me.

8. My Bible. Sure I can get another Bible or use a Gideon's hidden away in a Hotel side table drawer - but my Bible is my history. It's marked up, highlighted, written on almost every page and it includes my written prayers - many which were answered and my entire journaled life since I received it after graduating HS in 1986.

9. The Portable DVD player and Katie's DVD's. The last time we evacuated due to Floyd, Katie wasn't even here - but to think of the horror of being stuck in traffic moving 2 miles an hour without such a pacifier would be awful.

10. My medications. Sure I say this now, but trust me I am always forgetting them even while going on vacation. I don't know why, for I take them like clockwork each and every morning - but it would sure save money not having my Dr. call in a script to where ever I'm staying.

11. Electronic Handheld Yahtzee Game. I have two, one for each bathroom and I can't "go" without it. The code speak for having to use the bathroom around here is, "I'm going to Yahtzee." I don't know what it is about it, no other reading material or game will do - it has to be Yahtzee. Maybe it has something to do with me rolling a few straights, full houses and four of a kinds before I can make that royal flush. Either way. Gotta have it.

12. GoGurt. Just don't ask and I promise not to tell.

13. My Husband. But only if I have to. He has 13 things of his own to haul away with us and well, frankly I ran out of room in my Sante Fe with all of my 12 other items.

Take care everyone and have a great Thursday!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 5:39 PM   42 comments
The Wonder Pets Go Pee Pee
Our daughter is in absolute love with Nick Jr.'s Wonder-Pets. We've had quite a few episodes played out here at home and she knows the entire Opera by heart. I didn't mind at all and figured it was a cute little show. Since Barney, Sesame Street and Teletubbies are banned from acceptable viewing by orders of the Gon Daddy. That was until this episode aired 2 weeks ago:

Now our daughter thinks going "Pee Pee" is a means to go outside and play. She has escaped through our Doggie Door three times this week alone just to water my Zinnias. Oh well, it could be worse I suppose, at least we don't have a litter-box.

Go Wonder-Pets! Yeah!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:57 PM   4 comments
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
Willie Nelson's Doob Twister
Unfortunately I was forced to head over to earlier this evening. Can you all believe my 20th High School reunion is this November 20th? I sure can't and it feels like I just graduated yesterday. Anyhoo, as I was there looking around and peeking at some of my classmates bios, I decided to upgrade mine.

They ask such stupid questions I feel like I'm Meme'ing or something. Then I realized these questions were loaded in hopes to match me up with advertisers so I can be further spammed to death. So I answered them in such a way that they can't match me with anything and leaving behind some Q&A's to keep my classmates guessing.

My favorite question of all was; "If you can do absolutely anything at all for a living, what would it be?"

It took me awhile to really think of the perfect answer before it hit me. The perfect job for me would to be employed as "Willie Nelson's Doob Twister." Absolutely perfect!!

Giving it some consideration he is about to turn 70 after all. I'm certain his hands are arthritic from strummin' the Gee-tar and "All those Girls he Loved Before." It's surely not because I would pinch from his stash or anything. The medical benefits would be awesome and let's just face it, it would be the coolest job ever.

I'm not so certain what I would put on my resume' down the road, maybe something like Pharmaceutical Engineer would suffice? Not that it would matter - singing and chillin' with Willie is where I want to be when I grow up.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:54 PM   5 comments
Monday, August 21, 2006
5 Pound Bag of Sugar
If you're familiar with Atkin's dieting there is this 2 week "induction phase" where you pretty much get your body kicked in high gear when it comes to evicting those nasty fat cells. Keeping your carb intake under 20gms per day you can eat all that you wish of certain acceptable foods during this time.

The first 48 hours were the toughest because I felt so hungry even though I ate all that I wanted. The hunger was my carb addicted body begging for a fix. I literally dreamed of Pancakes and syrup which would be about 360 grms of carbs by itself.

My only failure was Friday which is Sushi night around here. I allowed myself a few pieces but I just knew I was breaking the rules. I decided in the next few weeks to experiment and see if I can find away to enjoy my sushi without so much rice or maybe substitute the rice for something else. (crumbled cauliflower comes to mind.)

This week I certainly didn't have too much room for imagination, but I found a few tricks. Tossing on a 1/4 lb juicy beef patty between two big portabellas with lettuce, cheese, tomato and all of the fixin's was quite delicious. Then can I hear a "Hello in the BlogHouse" that canned whipped cream has zero carbs!! That sure made the sugar-free Jello a more enjoyable treat plus a squirt of this ontop of my morning coffee with a sprinkle of cinnamon. Made me feel special!!

Today was weigh in day and this morning I woke up with more energy than I had in a week. I'm not even hungry anymore and I feel as if my brain fog has lifted. As I begin my second and final week of Induction, I stepped on my bathroom scale and I had lost 6 lbs!!

No disappointment here, I'm thinking a whole 5lb bag of sugar is quite a bulky thing to be carrying around all of the time. I'm 6 lbs less and well on my way to my goal. 20lbs may not seem like much to some people, but when I see a Big 20lb Bag of Wal-mart Dog Food under somebody's shopping cart I see promise.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:08 PM   13 comments
Sunday, August 20, 2006
On the Side of My Blogger Milk Carton
Peeps tend to quit bloggin' for many reasons. Some need a break, need to spend more time with the kids over the summer or some just plain suffer writer's block and go on a Fiesta for a time. Heck, some of my Bloggy Buds may even have checked themselves into rehab or gone off their wagon to fight a jihad of some sorts. Shit happens and I'm perfectly non-judgmental and understanding about that.

Then there are those Bloggy Buds who just disappear into thin air. Your browser sings to the Elvis tune of "Return to Sender". Sometimes with no goodbyes or explanation. Sometimes with an explanation that leaves you worrying about them. What can cause a person to delete a whole years worth of memories and thoughts? To think that they were useless and not worthy of taking up any Unspace on the WWW? That a poem they shared, an experience or a funny wouldn't or couldn't carry on to encourage those left behind?

When I go Blogspotting I am not looking for the perfect blog. Neither am I looking for the perfect blogger, with the perfect job, the perfect education and the perfect family and lifestyle. I'm looking for the real. The documentation of a life complete with all ups and downs. So why would I even care what a commenter or someone has to say about you? I don't.

I'm just about to turn 39 and trust me, I think I've broken 9 of the 10 Commandments and some more than once. The only one I never broke was "Thou shall not Kill" but don't think for a second I haven't daydreamed about someone's demise on a few occasions. We all have annoying peeps that come into our lives that make things miserable and worrisome. Sometimes we bring 'em on ourselves and sometimes they fly in on a Mothership from that annoying planet "Extended Family". Heck sometimes they are in your family and there isn't jack shit you can do about it.

I dig Blogger's who have Issues, they rock and are real. What has been done has been done and despite what dark valley you are blogging about being lost in - I love to see when you spot the light. I love when you laugh. I love when you celebrate. I love when you rant, cuss and let all that grief go. There's been a few blogs that have left my monitor smokin' they were so heated.

So to my Missing Bloggy Buds and you all know who you are, get back and get real. You're missed.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:37 PM   9 comments
Saturday, August 19, 2006
2 Legit 2 Quit
While "Blogspottin'" this morning (that's surfing blogs for those of you who are lingo-challenged) I spotted Mr. Hammertime himself, MC Hammer. His profile reads:

"I'm an ordinary man, who has lived an extraordinary life. I have been to Japan, Russia, Korea, Hong Kong, Egypt, Germany, Spain, Australia, Singapore, Puerto Rico, every state in America including Alaska and Hawaii. I have met and dined with Presidents and Sultans, and Princes. Most and above all I have met God."

Now don't anybody go over there to harass him or anything. No cuttin' up on his music and getting all "You Can't Touch This" on the man. The Dude is inspiring and the kids need that kind of empowerment.

Put the Parachute Pants nightmares behind you and go pat him on the back.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:02 PM   7 comments
Friday, August 18, 2006
Margie Unplugged
A little over 9 years ago Princess Di had that terrible accident. Before I tell you where I was at on that hour the news was announced to the world, let me quickly go over where Princess Di was at.

She finally wore her true blue smile. She ditched "Big Ears" and risked everything to become her own self-made woman. She finally tasted what it is like to really live happily ever after and then she dies.

My 30th birthday was just around the corner. There I was married to "No Ears" (seriously he resembled Kermit the Frog) and was so miserable in life I don't think I had smiled for the past 12 years. I'll spare everyone the long haul of blame, misery and woe. Just recall some old Jerry Springer episodes and you'll get the picture.

On my birthday I wanted to die but like most people, I am too scardy-cat to actually go through with it. Then I thought it would be cool if I accidentally died by car accident or something, where I wouldn't see it coming. It was at that very moment a realization hit me.

"Shit! If I did die in an accident right now, unlike Princess Di - I have never truly lived!! What a waste of a miserable life that would be. It would mean I have suffered so much for nothing. Oh hell no! Screw that!"

I set a date that day to pack up whatever I could in my '93 Mercury Cougar and move far away from New Jersey to Georgia. November 1st came and I went. Even tore the rear-view mirror off Gosh Darn It!! I sang my little heart out with joy all the way down I-95. My life was about to be lived!

That I did. I risked everything, lost much and sacrificed a lot. However I gained 100x more in just five years, when shortly before my 35th birthday while driving a brand new car - I looked up in the rear-view mirror (hadn't had one of those in awhile) and saw a speeding bus barrelling down on my backside.

By that day I had went to college, had a degree, had my own business, met and married my Prince Charming and was 23 weeks pregnant with our first child. The oncoming bus reminded me of my prayer just 5 years before.

We often wonder what a person thinks during those last few seconds of their life. For me, I smiled and prayed out loud, "Thy Will be Done." I was going to be content with whatever God wanted to happen. If it were for me to die, that would had been sad but okay because I had a chance to live. I was so happy in my life. So thankful. I had not a single regret of things that I should have done because I risked and lost so much doing them. I had lived!!!

So it ends up I had lived - through the whole Greyhound Bus runs over Pregnant Lady in car incident.

If I could give anything to the many friends, enemies and acquaintances that I have met here on the grand ole Blogosphere - I would want it to be my last few seconds of thoughts. To give you that peace, that humble yet confident feeling to know that your life was lived. That you and your words and actions made someone's everything worthwhile.

For after all, in the end... it is your life that you take with you. You can't take nothing or anybody along for the ride. It is all about you!

So what are y'all going to do over this weekend?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 5:27 PM   13 comments
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Fridays Feast
What color is your car?

The 'Fe is Grey and the 'Stang is turquoise with a tan convertible top.

If you could wake up tomorrow with full training in another occupation and a job in that field, what would it be?

I'd pray I would never wake up! Seriously, I have this thing over chasing cheese. Occupations and Jobs qualify as chasing the cheese. I've been there and done that. I woke up a morning long ago and said enough was enough. I wanted to do what I love and wanted to be my own boss. Within four years it happened and I'm writing, doing graphic arts and all of the stuff I would do for FREE beside my husband the geeky computer programmer.

How many times in your life have you had the flu (or something similar)?

Once a year something wrestles me down for the count. So I would say around 39 Flu Bugs, give or take a few odd ones here and there.

Main Course
What is something that has happened to you this week that you didn't expect?

Are you kidding me? Everyday and almost every moment within it has unexpected surprizes! I've almost stepped on a snake, found a rat, received an unexpected refund check, was hugged spontaneously. Not to mention when I visit all of my Bloggy Bud's there is always a nice little post package of joy for me to read.

How old were you when you had your first kiss?

I was in First Grade and just 6 years old. I remember it well not only because it was my first kiss, but because I turned around in a daze to walk away and walked straight into the dugout wall. I lost a front tooth because of it!

Have a great Friday and a Wonderful Weekend!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:27 PM   23 comments
Dickies Takes a 'Crack' at Jean Redesign

"Dickies has redesigned its work jeans to tug less, shift more and improve comfort. Just don't say the pants defend against the unsightly blue-collar phenomenon known as plumber's crack.

They say there is a more "natural tilt" to the jean, featuring a lower front and higher incline in the back. But that's about as far as Dickies wants to go in discussing the backside of the pants. There will be no cute or subtle plumber references when Dickies begins marketing the jeans next year."

Personally, I kinda hope the jeans don't sell. Think about it, plumber cracks tend to crack smiles, or rather crack people up. Sure they are unsightly and at times downright gross, but they are fun!

Imagine having a bad day at work so you and a co-worker go out to lunch to rant about it. You're both raving angry and suddenly look up to the counter and see four guys in a row just like the picture above. Is there any doubt that your attitudes would be changed immediately?

Sure you may loose your lunch and your co-worker may spray coffee out of her nose trying to sequester her laughter. But you would surely experience the natural benefits of stress relief that laughter offers. Suddenly your Boss doesn't seem half bad, your entire day turns into a comedy of errors and your attitude perks up to the positive.

For this reason I believe we should support the right to sport a butt crack and Boycott Dickies jeans until they agree to stop the redesign.

Cleavage is beautiful!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:44 PM   4 comments
YouTube down again.
One of my favorite qualities about YouTube is the lack of commercialism. I'm mentioning this because it is down once again today and I kind of feel a little compassion for the guy who started YouTube and now has a giant beanstalk on his hands.

YouTube is a wonderful idea and a wonderful Blogging tool but I can understand the expense and headaches they are now experiencing. What if YouTube was Blogger supported?

Instead of YouTube taking on big commercial accounts to pay for their expenses, employing annoying pop-up ads, ad-aware and the other nasties of internet commercialism. They could soar higher and still maintain the respect of the Blogging community who utilize YouTube the most. If they offered us a competitive advertising deal.

Perhaps as simple as a sidebar ad - or Blogroll of supporters and Blogging Shareholders. No fees, keep the service itself free - but the only advertising would be by us. The users and contributors to this wonderful video service. The highest on the list equal to he/she who collectively gave the most money and alph-order for those who share the same costs. An easy Paypal sort of system where we could sneak in .50 cents a week or $5 here and there to increase our Blogger spot on the supporting YouTube Blogroll and become a shareholder?

Anyone else out there love YouTube and want to see it stay up? Would you support it in such a non-intrusive way? Or would you rather suggest another Video Database that is equal or better than YouTube? Just some thoughts on this cloudy, Thursday morning.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:33 AM   4 comments
Wednesday, August 16, 2006
I do not like Snakes on a Plane
Tomorrow, August 18 is the premier of the movie "Snakes on a Plane."

Here is a 13 verse Suessical on why I will NOT be rushing out my door to see it.

I do not like snakes here or there,
I do not like them anywhere.

Could you? Would you? On a big screen?
Could you? Would you? Split the scene?

Not on the big screen nor a DVD flick,
Snakes on a Plane is totally sick!

A church handles snakes just outside of your town,
Would you accept an invite and come on down?

No way in hell, would I sit for a spell and witness that crazy shit.
Show me snakes and I'm not hanging around. Not even for a bit.

You may like them. You will see.
You may like them in a tree.

What part of no can you not grasp?
You'll never find me in a tree with an asp!

Say! In a theatre where it's dark and cool,
or perhaps by your neighbor's backyard pool?.

Do you not listen? I live in a state,
Called Georgia, the home to thousand a snake.

I will not see the movie. nor face my fear,
Not even with Zanny and a 12 pack of beer.

I'm afraid of flying on planes too, if that helps you understand.
Go see it with your head in the clouds, I'm sticking mine in sand.

Enough already of my will nots and can'ts,
If I go see this movie - I'll shit my pants!

I do not like Snakes on a Plane,
I do not like them, you must be insane?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 4:55 PM   31 comments
Paris Hilton's Vagina
First a big thank you to "Tits List" for bringing my attention to this terrible atrocity. What they deem a beautiful painting of the infamous flower is currently up for auction over at ebay. Finger Painting is one thing but sitting on top of a piece of paper to create your own "Hoo Hoo Art" isn't a craft project I want Katie experiencing in Sunday School.

"Macaroni Art Jesus on Construction Paper" currently is attached to our refrigerator with magnets for display and I'm having issues with that by itself. She decided to use the spiral noodles for Jesus' beard and hair and then painted them black. Our Lord sporting Dredds isn't something I can easily adapt to. I won't even mention His Jumbo Shell eyes and Lasagna ears. Thankfully this Sunday the kids are doing "Paper Plate Lambs with Cotton Balls."

However, returning to Paris' and her "Hoo Hoo Art", I'm here to tell 'ya all I'm scared. The dimensions of this thing is "12 x 24 inches!!" Almost equivalent to the measurement of your standard toilet seat! I'll grant 'ya there are a few guys out there who find this to be too small of an area to properly aim at and many guys miss the mark. But when it comes to Hoo Hoo's that you can literally fall into, this photo gives me the "You left the toilet seat up again" feeling.

I wonder if Paris' feet are enormous? Oh well, excuse me while I go break out the "Shrinky Dinks" to make some pornographic phallic suncatchers.

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that ebay has cancelled this auction. Granted, I find the photo and who it dipicts reprehensible - however, I now find ebay's actions just as dire. Who are they to down a piece of art?

Either way the item was relisted by the artist, an expressionist who now states: "It is an interpritation of how I felt opon seeing Paris' privates on film. I received my BFA in 1991 and am a local artist in Austin TX. Thanks for looking."

I've updated the eBay links to reflect the changes.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:41 PM   10 comments
Tuesday, August 15, 2006
Snakes on a Plane!

Deepak the Great stars as the last lone survivor in the upcoming movie, "Snakes on a Plane".

After the plane crashes Deepak finds himself stranded on a deserted Island with no signs of life except for...... guessed it! Snakes!!!! Go Deepak! You'll deserve an Emmy for this one Dude!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:22 PM   9 comments
Monday, August 14, 2006
Culture Shock
Frankie Georgiano of NYC Sanitation Department was a welcome site along 5th avenue each Monday morning. Always happy. Always smiling. Often giving New Yorkers a great joke or comedy act to bring with them to their dreaded boring desk jobs. Frankie never said a word when anyone littered, instead he nonchalantly pick up the item and toss it in the can. This is his job and he loves it.

However today Frankie didn't show up to work and was greatly missed. Turns out Frankie finally received his long awaited week long paid vacation. Spending it at home in his NYC apartment, because his weekly measly salary from the Sanitation Department won't afford him any other choice but New Jersey.

He is finally getting to see what it is like to spend daytime working hours behind a glummy desk! To be able to see why the many faces frowned as they walked by him each and every morning.

There's only one problem....

...the problem is no matter where Frankie works or sits, he makes the most of the job and falls in love with it!

Boy George the one-time Culture Club singer was ordered to spend five days working for the NYC Department of Sanitation after pleading guilty in March to falsely reporting a burglary at his lower Manhattan apartment. The officers who responded found cocaine instead.

Thank you George O'Dowd for allowing the Sanitation Department to give our Frankie a much deserved week off. Thank you for opening our eyes in realizing our desk jobs aren't so drilling. Finally, thank you for....

"Hey! Watch out for that nasty evil rat behind you!"

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:07 PM   8 comments
Time To Go on a Diet!
When I was in my early 20's I was stricken with this PCOS; Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. My main issue with PCOS is the Insulin-dump or Insulin resistance.

In healthy people the pancreas knows how to measure how much insulin to send out according to what you have eaten. In my case, one M&M which should require just a squirt instead gets the whole gallon dumpage. Basically I have overdosed on Insulin so often that I have developed a tolerance to it.

Sugar and Carbs instead of getting insulin to guide them into energy, decide instead they want to move in and stay with me. Turning themselves into nasty little fat cells that lay around and don't pay rent.

So again, my battle begins to evict these little lazy good-for-nothings and I must employ a Low-Carb and High Protein Atkin's style of diet to be successful. I suppose I should make lo-carb eating a lifestyle and not as a twice a year weight management but I can't help it. I love my breads, rice, potatoes and yes... my M&M's and chocolate!

Today I begin in hopes to loose at least 20lbs by Thanksgiving so I can not feel guilty over digging into the stuffin' and gorging on Pumpkin Pie. On Mondays I'll post my diet rants and share my success and failures for the next few weeks.

For now, I have a clean refrigerator which amazingly survived from last Thursday and is back to making ice cubes again. This afternoon I'll go shopping and stock up on low carb items. One thing I love about Lo-Carb dieting is that you are allowed to eat as much as you want of certain items and you won't feel hungry. I even learned some nifty tricks so I can have Coconut Custard, Flan and even chocolate treats to satisfy the sweet tooth and trick the pancreas.

If any bloggers wanna diet along with me, I welcome your support and I will gladly cheer you on also!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:32 AM   11 comments
Sunday, August 13, 2006
The Sunday Loafer
"A smile is a curve that can set things straight."

I was in a convenience store one day, standing in line behind a man paying for his groceries. When he was finished, the clerk sent him off with a cheery "Have a great day!"

To the clerk's surprise (and mine) the man exploded in anger. "This is one of the worst days of my life," he shouted. "How can I have a great day?" And with that he stormed out of the store.

I understand the man's frustration; I too have "bad" days over which I have no control. How can I have a great day, I ask myself, when it's beyond my control? Then I remember these words: "This is the day the Lord has made" (Psalm 118:24).

The Lord has made every day, and my Father will show Himself strong on my behalf today. He has control over everything in it - even the hard things that will come my way. All events have been screened through His wisdom and love, and they are opportunities for me to grow in faith. "His mercy endures forever" (v.1). "The Lord is on my side; I will not fear" (v.6).

Now, when people give me the parting admonition to have a great day, I reply, "That's beyond my control, but I can be grateful for whatever comes my way, and rejoice - for this is the day the Lord has made."

- David H. Roper
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:48 PM   6 comments
Mix-Pix TWISTED Blog Awards
Is your Weblog what some may call "Twisted"? Perhaps you are the next up and coming Comedian. Maybe you have been Certified a Looney. Either way I challenge you to shock us and make us laugh.

To Enter the Contest or to nominate a site, simply fill out the form in the sidebar at the Mix Pix Awards Site or send me an email at Margiemix at Please be sure to include the web address to the blog being submitted. Entrees will be judged according to how TWISTED your Blog is!

Contest ends: "Sunday - September 10, 2006."

Winners will be given a "Mix Pix Twisted-Blog Award" and recognition here and throughout the blogosphere. All encouraged to apply!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:35 PM   2 comments
Saturday, August 12, 2006
Woman Comes Home to Find House Cleaned
CHARLESTON, W.Va. - When Debbie Phillips tried to report a crime, police just snickered. "I told him that someone came into my house and cleaned," she said. "He just laughed."

Call the police? Goodness! I'd hit my knees and start singing praises to Jesus!

The problem wasn't that her home smelled a little fresher or looked a little tidier. The problem was that Phillips had no idea who the mystery cleaner was. Her husband denied cleaning up the joint. So did her next-door neighbor. Everyone she asked denied responsibility.

Husband? A episode production of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" would be my first guess. Heck when it comes to my Husband I'd believe in Tinkerbell Faeries and Gnomes before the possibility of him picking up a dust rag.

Nearly a month passed before the mystery was solved. As it turns out, her neighbor across the street, with a similar house number, the same number of rooms to be cleaned and a house key hidden in a similar spot outside, had hired a cleaning service. "They just came to the wrong door," Phillips said.

See what I mean? Ungrateful people like this ALWAYS get the good stuff happening to them and don't even publically Thank or Praise anyone. It is as if there is this big spiritual battle between Karma and Murphy's Law and Murphy has the lead!

Seriously! I won't ever fall on to big money but I'd bet big money would fall on to me! Some big airliner jet flying above my house looses some cargo and a duffle-bag full of rolled quarters would make a bee-line right at me. Crashing through my roof right on top of my computer and I would suffer shrapnel wounds from head to toe. Heck, toss in an exploding ink cartridge for good measure.

I'd still thank the Good Lord! At the very least for some excellent blogging material!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:06 PM   4 comments
Friday, August 11, 2006
Deepak's New Gig!
South Park Elementary School has hired a new Chef who will be introduced this coming fall season to replace the old Chef.

The South Park creators were pleasantly surprised while conducting auditions of hundreds of African American actors to replace their beloved character Chef, when Deepak the Great walked in and blew the competition away.

Much like the Old Chef, Deepak was a smooth talking ladies man and and more apt to offer the boys advice that they could finally understand. Here for the first time ever is an amazing clip from the upcoming new episode script:

Chef Deepak: "Hello there children. How may I be helping you today?"

Stan: "Chef Deepak, Cartman is home sick today with anal fissures."

Kyle: "Tell us Chef Deepak, what's an anal fissure."

Chef Deepak: "My goodness children keep your mercy strong. Your friend be having very much pain and very much difficulty using facilities."

Stan: "How can we help him?"

Chef Deepak: "You be first must be checking to see if your friend's computer is very much plugged in. "

Kyle: "Wha???"

Chef Deepak: "Then turn off computer and try first a reboot."

Stan: "Are you saying we should kick him in the ass?"

Be sure not to miss South Parks new fall season on Comedy Central! Also stop by to visit Deepak and give him a big hearty congratulations! Way to go Deepak! You're the Man!

(Legal disclaimer: Events mentioned in this above post are purely fictional.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:06 PM   5 comments
Thank God It's Friday's Feast!
Tell about a toy you remember from your childhood..

I didn't have any toys as a kid. If I was given any for Christmas or my Birthday, they were quickly rented and destroyed by Maurice Bergermeister Meisterberger. The only enjoyable possession I can recall was a great big box of books that Dad brought home one evening. They suffered smoke damage from a house fire and smelled awfully bad but I read each one of them.

If you could make one thing in the world absolutely free for everyone, what would it be?.

I think everyone in the world should be given a home. No rent, no mortgage - just a simple humble home. Opportunities to trade up for a bigger home would be available. If one sold their gifted home for drugs that would be their problem. But a home should be available to everyone.

Approximately how many times per day do you think about your significant other?

Countless number of times. Many times it is good, such as wishing he was here to enjoy a funny moment of our daughter. Then there are bad times when I find his socks strewn on the floor, messes he's left behind or toothpicks on the floor.

Main Course
What is something you believe in 100%?

I believe in God with all my heart and soul, Christ crucified and risen and the Holy Spirit who comforts and guides me.

Name one thing you have done this week that you would consider a "good deed."

My Good Deeds are done in secret so I'm not going to tell on myself. =OP

Have a great Friday and a Wonderful Weekend!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:53 AM   15 comments
Thursday, August 10, 2006
Dropping Big Fat F-Bombs!
I can't remember the last time I've used so many F-bombs in a single day. Seriously, I don't even drop this many in a whole year but today takes the Mother of all F-Bombing blue ribbons and it is only 2pm.

I wake up and stumble barefooted in to the kitchen for a cup of coffee. The dog decided overnight that plopping a big stinker on the rug in front of the kitchen counter was a grand idea. As my foot found itself getting printed in a pile of cold poo the first F-bomb was dropped.

After I cleaned my foot I came back in to continue my pursuit of my morning coffee. As I reached into the fridge for the milk the same foot stepped into an ice cold puddle. Wouldn't you know it, after I spent 2 hours cleaning my fridge yesterday it decides it doesn't want to work anymore. Global warming has attacked the freezer and the entire appliance is sweating as if it had just run a marathon in the Sahara. Just the thought of having to buy a new fridge squeezed out F-bomb number two.

So I sit down for a bit, sipping my coffee and allowing these morning catastrophes digest in my mind. While trying to wake up my mind my body followed and notified me very painfully may I add, that today it would like to pass a kidney stone. It's still in there as I write this and although the pain is sporadic it manages to squeeze out sporadic F-bombs as well.

Neither rain nor snow nor hell nor high water can stop a Mother from going about her day. A kidney stone although painful will just have to deal with me having to change the beds and do the laundry. In the washer went the sheets, the soap and the bleach and off I went to put new sheets on the beds. Still barefoot by the way and wouldn't you know fate would have this to be a super time to get a splinter! Not just your ordinary splinter but 3/4's of a toothpick that SOMEBODY didn't have enough sense to throw in the trash and happened to hide itself within the pile of my bedroom carpet. Trust me, the impaling of a toothpick between your fourth and pinkie toe is not a jolly nor joyful time. Thus requiring... yep, you guessed it yet another F-bomb.

Feeling sorry for me yet? Don't. I'm not asking for pity but I am pleading for a voo-doo curse removal at this moment. Enter Dog poop multiplied by two out on my front porch as I went outside to greet the UPS man bringing my package of fragrance oils. Yes, you guessed it.. I was still barefoot and dropped another F-bomb. There is only two reasons why either of our Basset Hounds would drop a load inside or on the porch. One, it was scared out of them or two, the grass in the backyard is too high and they can't stand their sphincter tickled while trying to release their bowels. One peek out the back door revealed the answer and yet another F-bomb. The grass is 2 foot high. Our dogs are only 14" high.

(Note to Husband Gon: "You try to take a shit in a jammed packed cornfield and come back and tell me how much you'd like to do that again.")

Is it over yet? Can I open my eyes. Oh hell no! In the mail comes a spiffy certified letter from our Communistic Car Finance Company. This threat letter reads, "Thank you for your prompt payment. We regret to inform you that your account remains in arrears as of August 19, 2006 in the amount of $0.00. Please take care of this urgent matter immediately for your account is in Pre-Repo status." Now at this point comes multiple flying F-bombs jammed packed with "What the Hells". These guys are complete ... do I dare say it?

Nah, I'll hold my peace and calm down a bit. As much as I'd love to F-bomb the Commies over the phone I think it would be in my best "Pre-Repo" interest to go ahead and mail them out a check for $0.00 and waste a good stamp.

Oh, the laundry must be done by now! Thus I hobble over to the laundry room with my side stabbing kidney stone and sore splintered foot to actually try and get something done today. What's this? The washer is still full of water yet the cycle completed. My washing machine is DOA!

That's it, I'm now here blogging and after I'm F'ing done blogging, I am F'ing going back to F'ing bed and I ain't F'ing getting up until this F'ing day is F'ing over with. Because I F'ing had it up to F'ing here with this F'ing Shit today and I F'ing ain't going to F'ing take it no F'ing more.

Good night and Good Luck.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:10 PM   10 comments
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
You Go Girlfriend!
Looks like Paris Wayaton the Manatee from two posts back has decided to ditch those 10 horny male suitors down in Florida and come up to NYC to sit back and chill a bit.

In an interview along the Hudson for the New York Times, Paris Wayaton says she is sick of boyfriends and is going to be celibate. "I'm not having sex for a year. I'll kiss, but nothing else," says Wayaton, who told the news reporter she has had sex with only 853 different men during her lifetime.

Just this weekend she gained international fame when some Nutty Blogger posted a picture of her having sex on the Internet. She denied leading a promiscuous lifestyle and has come to Manhattan to pursue her dream of becoming a fashion model for Gucci.

"The South Beach Diet worked wonders in my love life. Now that I got it going on, I am going to work it."

You Go Girlfriend!!!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:06 AM   9 comments
Monday, August 07, 2006
Deepak The Great
Name: Deepak Gopi
Location: Trivandrum, Kerala, India

"I am Deepak, I belong to Gods own country, Kerala. I am highly sensitive . I would like to make friendship with the people around the world.

I am an actor,director ,teacher,t.v anchor and a writer.
I am a film buff. I am very much spiritually inclined and funloving. I am a post graduate in Mass-communication. I know karate, kick boxing and yoga. My aim in life is to become a gret film star. I am planing to direct a malayalam movie to introduce me as a hero. I enjoy the company of all those who are good at heart."

If you haven't had the wonderful opportunity to stop in and say hello to Deepak, do so!! He wants to be a movie star and needs our encouragement and support. Stop by and spread some Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy!

Deepak The Great
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:07 PM   4 comments
Sunday, August 06, 2006
Etour & Travel, Orlando Florida Vacation PERVERTS and Scammers!
I learned some time ago the art of blogging and search engines give us consumers a bit of power in the free market. Whether you blog about a wonderful restaurant review or a delightful new friendly store in your neighborhood. If you blog about it, they will notice and so will others.

Every once in awhile, you may come across a bunch of fraudulent, rude pricks. It is our duty to warn others about such nonsense and put out a buyer beware, a major complaint and do a massive bitch out over a company that seeks to rip people off.

So please forgive me at this moment while I do just that. Excuse my language as I will most certainly admit - I am very emotional over this matter right now. This isn't like me - for those who know me I am optimistic, fun, forgiving and will more than likely cry over a matter than throw a brick through a window. Except this time.

If you ever call and make hotel reservations or vacation planning to Florida you may receive a telemarketing call from this place called "eTour & Travel". They do this sort of thing sometimes when you make reservations and put yourself in some sort of database that you are a traveler. However, if you ever get a call, an email or a snail mail from "eTour & Travel" - trust me, report them as Spam - toss out the entire envelope mailed to you or demand that they remove you from their calling list.

They are nothing but frauds and I've been burnt by them terribly. Our bank account drained by unauthorized withdrawals and they are evil, dishonest scammers. If "eTour & Travel" or any other marketer calls - it would be wise to first Google their company name and take a look see if there are any complaints or posts such as this out there before doing business with them.

Live and learn, I suppose.

Thankfully, together with my banking institution I received restitution yesterday afternoon. It's not over by a long shot, for they are now facing criminal charges filed with the Attorney General of Florida. It seemed I'm not the only bank customer who was sucked into this ordeal.

This blog post is in hopes nobody else gets in "eTour & Travel's" greedy, dishonest and slimy hands.

Thanks for bearing with me..
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:51 PM  

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