Wednesday, January 31, 2007
Thirteen Offensive College Party Suggestions
It's been awhile since I've participated in Thursday 13 - but today after discussing possible "Offensive College Theme Party" suggestions with my husband - I thought it would be cool to lighten up and share our politically incorrect party ideas all in good spirited fun.

Recently in South Carolina, Clemson University is upset over an off-campus party during the Martin Luther King Jr. weekend that had an Urban culture theme. A similar "Ghetto Fabulous Themed College Party" in Austin, TX back in October caused quite a stink as well. I thought it sounded like a hip and fun time to be had by all. I love parties, themed parties in particular and don't find them degrading to any culture they are themed around. In fact, it is my opinion that such parties embrace and show acceptance to the beautiful diversity of our country. I find it more offensive to be told we cannot do such.

1) 80's Party: I'm starting with this one because this mocks who I was 20 years ago. I'm embarrassed to admit that I wore the mullet hair, listened to Boy George and bounced around on the dance floor wearing leg-warmers without paying any thought to the beat of the music or how silly I looked. Yet, I still have the wardrobe sitting in my closet that I won't part with. I doubt if any of this will come back in style - but in the case of an upcoming '80's party - I'll be prepared.

2) Redneck Party: Kegs of PBR, oyster roasts, country music and a Beer Belly Wet Flannel Shirt contest sounds like a grand ole' time. A buffet of saturated fats such as Fried Chicken, grits and squirrel sounds like a dare to take on. Top the night off with some mud-bogging or tractor pulls and you're set.

3) Gay Party: Why not come out of your closet for the night or at least dress out of the closet of the opposite sex. Stuff your pockets with fluorescent lite sticks and pump the house with club music. Deck the buffet out with spiked fruit punch and taste the Skittles rainbow.

4) AA Party: Doughnuts, coffee, doughnuts, coffee, doughnuts, coffee. Try your legs out playing Musical Twelve Steps to the music of the O'Douls Irish Bagpipe and Blues Band. No alcohol allowed, but you can get high off the support and friendship of each other and still prove to have a good time.

5) Sheik Party: Similar to the Roman Toga Parties except we travel on down to the middle east. Wearing robes, veils, burkas and the occasional mock suicide bomb vest. Throw lots of sand on the floor but leave out the beach umbrellas, borrow a camel or two from your local zoo. Llamas will work if in a pinch. Don't forget the George W. Bush Pinata' and top the night off firing rifles into the air.

6) Rich White Man's Party: A stiff black tie event while classical music hums in the background while hostesses walk around with trays of wine and whores de' vores. Share stock trading tips and hobnob with political big-wig characters. Charge $1,000 per plate and make it a grand evening. NOT! Boring!!

7) Mafia Party: Swing back to the 20's and roll out the casino roulette wheels. Rum runners in the back with a candy store front. Give everyone a stinky Cuban cigar and play "take it to the mattresses."

8) Hollywood Ho'down: Leave your underpanties at home girls, rent a limo and party like an A-lister. Try not to invite any Mel Gibson types who may fall down drunk and blame the world's woes on the Jews.

9) Bush Administration Annual BBQ: Pin the tail on the donkey (Democrat) while drunk games or perhaps you would rather enjoy a game of shoot your best friend in the face with buckshot? Heck, pin Condi Rice to the wall and play field goal between the gap in her two front teeth. Trade your 2 free points in for Laura's chocolate chip cookies and chase down with Rumsfield Rum Shots.

10) Mexican Party: No invitations, party goers must climb over, under or bust through fence to get in.

11) Global Warming Party: Half of the invitations say to dress up like Eskimo's and the other half requests you dress Tropical to compound the confusion. Invite Al Gore as a guest speaker to sort it all out.

12) South African Party: This party is experimental and in honor of a good buddy who can party the night away clubbing in Durban dressed to the nines. The joke is to see what the average American would show up to the party dressed up as. (I'm going as a Penguin - I love those little buggers.)

13) "Blank" Party: Here is where you fill in the blank with a theme party idea! See y'all in my comment section.


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:00 PM   16 comments
Taking Money Issues for a Test Drive
So if you could "test drive" marriage, would you have ended up with the same car? I would, however I think I would have chosen the fully loaded options ... it seems as though when the finances went down, so did conversation, companionship, family time and pretty much the relationship. how do make your loved one realize that yeah were flat broke, but if you keep pushing everyone away the ones that do care, you will continue to get nowhere, and even faster. oh and be alone when you get there. Yes it talkes money to live and provide for your family, but with out the family, that money will do nothing for you! His words "if you cant pay the bills then nothing else will matter anyway". any advice other than smacking him up side the head would be great, that didn't work anyway. - Mrs. Froggy

Dear Mrs. Froggy: Many marriages end due to money problems and many businesses have closed their doors due to financial issues as well. Since we're only one month into the New Year may I suggest that you set aside a few quiet hours this weekend, sit down and write out a "Family Plan" together.

Just like a business, begin with a planning a budget. Calculate your monthly household expenses and see if you both currently make enough to cover these. Discuss together some fun and creative ways to save on some expenses and ways to make money. For example, instead of ordering Pizza in on Friday nights - you could buy 2 Large Frozen Pizzas and save $15.00. Instead of buying Lotto tickets, buy only one and tuck away another dollar in an old empty coffee can to save.

Start small and think small. Don't overwhelm one another with huge financial expectations right away. Your first goal is to be able to handle the necessities you have to deal with, catch up on bills you're behind in and get a little savings going. If all goes as planned, by this time next year you'll be caught up and on a good footing towards bigger goals.

Don't worry if your husband is a dreamer, we all have dreams. If there is a dream - there is hope! Discuss and share your dreams together. Plan ways to start making them come true. It may take a few years , but trust me... years go by very quickly.

My advice - PLAN - then grow one breath and one penny at a time. Couples can grow together and sadly, sometimes grow apart. I can't promise you that the latter won't happen. It does as it had happened to me in my last marriage, but I turned out just fine. Give it your best, believe and encourage one another. Most importantly give yourself some room for individual growth.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:44 AM   4 comments
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Tinfoil Chef: Rednek K-so-dee-ahs!
Welcome to "Tinfoil Chef " where I'd like to feature healthy recipes for square meals on meager pockets. Today's recipe is brought to us by Practical Chick - a simple, easy and cheesy recipe for Quesadillas.


This is so simple... Ready?

Here's your grocery list...and yes, you can write it using lipstick and paper towel - after all...this is my quick, rednek version:

- Boneless, skinless chicken breast
- Cheddar cheese soup
- Taco sauce
- 10 flour tortillas
- Shredded cheddar

When you get home, put your chicken in a pot that you melted some butter in (or a skillet depending on how much you are making). Add what ever seasonings you want. Cook the chicken until it is done and chop it up. Add the soup (do not dilute it) and about half a cup (less if you want) of taco sauce. Mix it all up. Oh yeah, by now this should not be on hot stove.

Heat your oven to 350 and get your cookie sheet out...a cake pan works too. Warm up your tortillas by wrapping them in paper towel and microwaving them for a few seconds.

Add some of the chicken and cheese soup mix to a tortilla, add cheese, fold in half, and seal with a little water. Put it on the cookie sheet. Repeat until your cookie sheet is full. Bake them until the cheese is melted.

There you go. Rednek K-so-dee-ahs!


I tried this recipe the other evening and my only addition was to jazz 'em up by tossing some diced fresh tomato on top of the mixture before folding and baking them. Serving them with a dollop of sour cream really did the trick and we all loved them and will be sure to make this quick dish again. Yields 10 - 2 per serving. (5)

Total Cost: $5.97 approximately $1.19 cents per person (tomato and sour cream not included)
Prep Time: 20 minutes for stovetop -10 minutes oven/plate prep.
Dishes in Sink: Skillet, cookie sheet, spatula, wooden spoon, knife, spoon. Use Paper Plates!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:14 AM   7 comments
Monday, January 29, 2007
Why Vote for John McCain
It's Monday and time to pull a Presidential candidate out of my hat. Before I do, have you heard about the Lobbying Reform Bill? Karlos gave a bit of a heads up over at the Alamo City and this bill is a concern to Bloggers as well as big time Lobby Fellers like that creepy Abramoff. In Part:

Section 220 of S. 1, the lobbying reform bill currently before the Senate, would require grassroots causes, even bloggers, who communicate to 500 or more members of the public on policy matters, to register and report quarterly to Congress the same as the big K Street lobbyists. The U. S. Senate can impose criminal penalties, even jail time, on grassroots causes and citizens who criticize Congress!

Tempting to take away my 1st Amendment rights is daunting, but Presidential hopefull John McCain knows that no matter what the issue, we can't have real government reform without first reforming our campaign and lobbying laws. Time and again he's dared Washington to follow his lead to break the stranglehold that special interests and their money have on the political process.

Sounds honorable, especially when it comes down to big time corporates who are leashing those in our government and taking us all for a walk. But what about us simple, ordinary citizens? The ones who will ultimately vote for the candidates that are supposed to serve the American people and protect our Constitution.

Vote for John McCain because he really, really loves President George W. Bush!

Seriously folks, these two need to get a room! Unlike FDR, our beloved President Bush may not be able to postpone elections this 2008. Leaving only a secret, in-the-closet option of becoming our next First Lady instead!

(Last Week: Why Vote for Hillary Clinton.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:03 AM   10 comments
Sunday, January 28, 2007
Fast Food From the God Box: "Simplify your Life"
A stressed-out traveler at an airport was worried about missing his plane so he asked a man, "What time is it?"

The man set down two big heavy bags, looked at his watch and said, "Exactly 5:09, the temperature is 73? It'll rain later. In London the sky is clear with a high of 28. And let's see, in Singapore the sun is shining brightly. And… oh, this is interesting, the moon will be full over Los Angeles tonight."

"Your watch tells you all of that?" asked the traveler.

"Sure. In fact it tells me much more. You see, I invented this watch and I assure you there's no other timepiece on earth like it."

The man said, "I simply must have that watch. I'll give you $10,000 for it."

"Okay," said the inventor, "it's a deal," and held out his hand for the money. The traveler grabbed the watch and put it on, smiling with delight. But before he could take a step the inventor stopped him.

"Wait!" Then he reached down for the two big heavy bags and said, "Don't forget the batteries!"

We hope the latest hi-tech gadgetry will be the very thing that will set our schedule free. But in the end it weighs us down, it increases our dependency on something that will eventually break or become obsolete with the next marvel of modern science. It's time we counted the hidden cost before investing more time, money and confidence in the next does-it-all watch. Those batteries get awfully heavy once the novelty has worn off.

What's the message? "Let us lay aside every weight." Hebrews 12:1

Simplify your life, get back on track, focus - and while you're at it, why are you blogging right now? Go steal 1/2 hour of your life back and go play!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:10 PM   6 comments
Saturday, January 27, 2007
Quest to Identify a Sniff
Tourists to Savannah and the south in general run across a variety of smells that permeate the air. Some sniffs can only be identified by the dealer of such or at times the locals of any given area. The Paper Mill, Sour Soil and Low-Tide are frequent responses to our visiting sniffers.

Then there are stinks in the air that aren't nearly as repulsive. Such as a blooming Magnolia Tree on a breezy afternoon. Sitting on a bench under a Wisteria vine or the mouth watering sniff of fresh ripe peaches at a roadside produce stand.

It is these good sniffs that I have hypothetically captured and vacuum packed to savor later. What I need is a brand name to label them by so I can bottle the stinks up and sell them.

I have a few names, but then again I'm a conditioned Yankee that is used to identifying things such as soda, hoagies, pizza pies and shopping carts. This stink's identity can only be named by a local and thus my quest.

Remove yourselves from the Lysol, Glade Plug-ins, Yankee Candles and FeBreeze fabric fresheners for just a moment. Comment and let me know what you would name a Southern-made company that sells to the world the sniffs of the south?

(I'll announce the winner by Friday, February 2, 2007. )
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:36 PM   4 comments
Keyword Kaos: "Oxiclean Torture Test"
Orange GloIt's time for Keyword Kaos and once again I am floored by some of the searches that have misled some of you to my blog. This week there were many innocent searches that deserve mention.

- Sodium how do you get it.
- What if you don't have a bundt pan.
- Nurse's elbow.

I sure hope the person directed here found resolution in their Nurse's elbow situation. I suffered a few weeks of guilt after realizing that I committed a legal form of child abuse after yanking Squirt by the arm and accidentally dislocating her ulna. It happens to many parents and until someone develops a remote control for kids - we have to hold their hands.

Then there were keyword searches that start to border into "What were you thinking?" mode:

- Babe scale
- How to measure for jordache jeans
- Lady liberty other names.

I'll give the Babe scale searcher the benefit of doubt that they were thinking of an infant scale. Not a system that judges and places women in a pecking order by boob size and beauty. Then again, who am trying to kid here?

Measuring for Jordache Jeans is inspiring, are they back in style again? I just cleaned out my closet and finally broke free of my flash-back to the '80's attire. The Jordache, Sergio Valente and Gloria Vanderbilts are hanging from a Goodwill rack about now.

Then there is the searcher for other names for the Statue of Liberty. Lady Liberty is about the only other name I can think of although I have heard her referred to as the "Homegurl of the Harbor" back in my Jersey days.

Lastly, the twisted keyword terms you've been waiting for:

- Hanky Panky Pie recipe desert
- Oxiclean torture test
- What to do with a dominant wife's dirty bottom.

Food porn and being tickle tortured by effervescent bubbles sounds like a great night of romance being planned. However to the poor bloke with the nasty ass wife - perhaps you should write in and tell us about your issues?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:27 PM   2 comments
Friday, January 26, 2007
April 15th - Make it just another day!
Many Americans may have received in their Snail Mail this week, the IRS Publication 600 for the refund of general State and Local Sales Taxes. My first thought as a self-inflicted family in poverty while hubby is in college - was full of anticipation. This means our Federal Income Tax return check will be a few hundred more!

As my husband will attest, it is very dangerous to get the bean-counter side of my brain ticking. My Ego prefers to hang out with the ID of my Right Brain. The creative, dreamy and artistic side that wanted a degree in Communication Arts 15 years ago.

Strangely, it was the Left side of my brain that was used to pay my tuition while I worked in various accounting and managerial positions. Now I have this dangerous "Rainman" ability of reasoning and mathematics that can count, separate and chart a box of colored toothpicks that fall on the floor.

(Remind me later when commenting -that I need to go to KMart and buy a pack of underpanties.)

Now all of these colored Federal toothpicks are all over my calculator and it feels strange. Yes, we're living meagerly enough that the IRS doesn't want to keep the income taxes that we pay. In fact they toss in this Earned Income Credit that entitles us to getting more than we pay in. Then there is the Federal Pell Grant that pays most of the husband's tuition. There are many more federal programs that we would qualify for but choose not to take advantage of. (Heating assistance, HUD, WIC, Childcare, etc.) Now they want to refund a part of my general sales taxes paid this year and I feel like we've hit the lottery for a few thousand bucks.

Yet our national deficit is in the Trillions?! Where is this money coming from? The Social Security accounts of our future seniors or the future salaries of our children? The milk from this tit tastes strangely sour. Granted, we want out of our predicament so we can someday better ourselves to the point that we won't even mind paying taxes. When the husband graduates his salary increases by three to four fold and that is very inspiring. Not only for our own benefit but we can finally be able to help a friend in need or give to charities that touch our hearts.

('Course it's Ten minutes to Wapner. We're definitely locked in this box with no TV)

Down here in self-imposed poverty hell we've met many people who do not plan to overcome. I'm going to say it - have to say it and my apologies to those who honestly cannot rise above. It sucks to sit in a health clinic waiting room for the impoverished when most of the people around me are wearing department store clothing. To look down at my frail fingernails and adjust my Suave product and home-job hair style in shame.

To see our beautiful daughter dressed in last year's Kmart Clearance rack specials and faux Disney Princess Sneakers as she wants to play with another little girl. A little girl playing with her GameBoy, wearing more bling than Mr. T himself accompanied by the coolest pair of pink Nike Airs ever made. While we leave the clinic into a parking lot is full of souped up Caddies, Camrys and Lincoln Navigators. Driving away in our beater car with the needle just under a quarter tank.

('Course I'm an excellent driver.)

Something isn't adding up just right and it needs to. This refunding of my general sales tax makes me think of a bigger, brighter idea. The Fairtax Plan - it makes sense! Abolishing Income tax and begin a Federal Sales Tax instead. Isn't it odd that although many don't have an income to claim they do have money to buy things? Tax the GameBoys and Air Nike sneakers and at the same time tax the Yachts and large estates purchased by the rich on undeclared income. Is your neighbor a drug pusher or working under the table? He'll pay taxes now.

If anyone wants to save money on taxes they can simply stop buying shit! Stop playing "Keep up with the Jones" for a year or two. Institute refunds based on certain necessary purchases such as medicine, food and health care. I really believe that this would sort out all of the colored toothpicks and put them back into their box. Reducing our federal deficit and at the same time providing for those who are in need. Safeguarding the future of Social Security and the salaries of our children. In fact, I really believe there will be plenty of extra toothpicks left over to support a free college education for anyone who wants it.

('Course when they bring the maple syrup after the pancakes, it'll definitely be too late.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:03 PM   5 comments
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
The State of My House
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 4:43 PM   9 comments
Monday, January 22, 2007
Redneck Tinfoil Chef: Hearty French Onion Soup
Welcome to "Redneck Tinfoil Chef " where I'd like to feature healthy recipes for square meals on meager pockets. Cold weather finally blew in down south in Savannah and we've been enjoying a variety of soups and stews. I wanted to make a French Onion Soup using the local favorite sweet Vidalia Onions yet a part of me wanted the simple flavorful broth that is found in Japanese Restaurants with the sliced shrooms floating on top.

Most importantly I needed to make a full rounded meal because serving just broth to my family won't cut it around here. They demand something that sticks to their ribs. With this in mind I decided to go all hearty with this dish and we were all delighted with the results.

1 - lb of Fresh Button Mushrooms
3 - Large Vidalia Onions
1 - lb of beef chunks for stew. (optional)
1 - pkg (2 pack) Onion Soup Mix
2 - 15 oz. can of lo-sodium beef broth
4 - 15 oz. cans of water
4 - Tbs of Butter/Margarine
2 - Tbs of Dark Brown Sugar
1 - Loaf of French Bread (halfed Onion Bagels also work well)
1 - 2 cup bag of Shredded Mozzarella Cheese.

Peel and slice onions into rings then place in skillet on stove top set to low with 4 Tbs of Butter/Margarine and 2 Tbs of Dark Brown Sugar. Simmer until limpy and translucent then kick the heat up a notch to carmelize them. Dump in Crockpot set on low with 2 cans of lo-sodium beef broth.

Half 1 lb of Button mushrooms and your stew meat. (optional) Toss these both together in a bowl with 1 packet of the Onion soup mix covering the shrooms and meat with the spices. Braise in your skillet until all meat is brown and no longer pink then toss into your Crockpot to swim with the Onions and broth.

Add the last remaining Onion Soup package to Crockpot with 4 cans of water. Cover and let the Crockpot do its thing for 4 hours.

Just before dinner preparation slice and toast your bread choice. I sliced a French loaf into 1/3" slices and toasted on a cookie sheet in oven set at 350 degrees, for 5 minutes each side. When done remove cookie sheet and set Oven to broil at 400 degrees.

Taking your serving bowls/crocks (make sure they are oven safe) Sit on top of cookie sheet and fill with Soup mixture from Crock-pot, top off with toasted bread slices and add 1/4 cup of shredded Mozzarella cheese on top of each. Stick under broiler for 3 minutes. They are done when the cheese is melted and has just started to brown on the edges. Serves 8.

Total Cost: $11.57 approximately $1.45 per person
Prep Time: 20 minutes for Crockpot -20 minutes dinner prep.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 6:27 AM   6 comments
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Why Vote for Hillary Clinton
As an increasingly apathetic voter who is tired of being jerked around, bamboozled and having my brains jumbled in the Tilt-a-whirl of political spin - I am going to start dedicating Monday's to post about outlandish and unbelievable reasons why we should vote for certain candidates who hope to become our puppet-masters.

Vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton because of her Bust!

No, not her double padded A cups - but because of this frightening pillar of salt:

Vote for Hillary Clinton because this scares the shit out of you. Vote for Hillary Clinton because this will scare the shit out of our children. Can you imagine how many 5th graders on a Washington D.C. educational field trip will haul ass out of the White House screaming after seeing this sitting in the foyer?

Me either, but I sure would love to see a YouTube video of that! A caught on security camera YouTube of John Ashcroft trying to slip a curtain over the statue's breasts would be hilarious also. Not to mention we don't have nearly enough photos of Bill Clinton wincing. You know the look with the half lifted eyebrow and slightly scrunched nose that impishly asks, "Define for me the word Is?"

Thereby, in the name of everything scary... in the spirit of every enjoyed novel written by Stephen King.. for every Freddie Kruger induced nightmare ...and for every person who ever found a finger in their bowl of Wendy's chili...

Vote for Hillary Rodham Clinton because of her ability to scare the shit out of people!

(....unless you have a good reason not to vote for her.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 6:36 PM   11 comments
Fast Food from the God Box: "I can not, not believe."
Did you ever go to church and find the sermon seemed relevant to you? Maybe you've visited a Bloggy Buddy and found a post that was exactly what you were thinking about last night? I had quite a strange concoction of both things happen to me this morning.

Somehow I managed to sip coffee and take a breath at the same time after reading Dr. John post, "We can not, not believe" this morning. Choking at the shocking coincidence that this was the exact answer that I had concluded just last night.

How did Dr. John know what was churning in my mind recently? Did he spy me out watching "The DaVinci Code" DVD last week? I don't remember posting anything about all of these interesting History Channel shows that I've been watching that taunt my intelligence and faith. Neither have I shared my conversations with two separate and unrelated Bloggy Buds who asked me how I could believe in my doctrine.

Yes, I've questioned my faith and have concluded that I can not, not believe. Simply because I want to believe and for no other reason than that. I want a God who knows me personally and I want to know Him. It is a desire to want to be with friends and family in the hereafter. I want to have a big mansion in the sky, world peace, a pony, and afford to live in a jeweled gated community with streets of gold.

Plus, it would be way cool to hang out with Buddy Christ and discuss philosophical reasonings while trying out the new roller coaster at some new and improved Epcot Center. Then go out at night turning the other cheek with Him in the mosh pit of a heavenly rock concert.

As long as I continue to want, dream, hope and pray - I can not, not believe.

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:08 PM   2 comments
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Keyword Kaos: "Margie"
I never really paid attention to Keyword Activity on my Statcounter reports until this past week. I've noticed that many other Bloggers post them, they're funny and I wondered how they got this information. Now hey there, although I am blond and my husband has already told me that I'm a "L-User with Progress Potential"; I am learning as I go out here into the Uncharted Unspace.

So now I'm going to brag. Who out there can do a Google Search on just their first name and land their blog on page 1? I can! As of today a search on the word "Margie" will put this blog at #4 out of about 5,830,000 possibilities. Well, holy shit!

However, don't worry I'm not full of gas about it because the reason it is there was because I talked about myself in 3rd person. Don't you hate when people do that? Yeah, I thought so. I also hate when people talk about themselves ALL of the time. The "Me, Me, Me" and "Woe is Me'ers" just like ME, Margie who like the true narcissistic that I am - has the nerve to get up online and blog the world according to Me, Margie. Gosh, Margie, me and I must suck!

So enough about me, here are the best of the keyword activity for Do You Have Issues? this past week:

- How can you get a big pimple off.
- Do you have to put Mayo in the fridge.
- Stick it in stick it out family guy.
- Jesus Face on Doggy Door
- How to tell if you have fairy blood in you
- Ramses ii marijuana

After discovering my Keyword Activity Stats I discovered YOU! I am a bit worried about YOU quite frankly, especially the fellow who wants to know how to get a big pimple off. I'm very enlightened over the chick who wanted to know how to tell if you have fairy blood in you. It gives me hope that at least someone out there believes in fairies.

Then lastly there is the searcher of the all knowing Google God who needed the 411 on "Ramses ii Marijuana." Did he want to know if Egypt's Ramses II smoked Marijuana? Grow Marijuana? Was Bob Marley a reincarnation of Ramses II? Although I don't have a clue on what the poor guy was thinking - this is the answer he got:

Click to enlarge
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:49 AM   10 comments
Friday, January 19, 2007
The Perfect Guy Movie
Not a movie to watch if you are a woman. Especially if you have a little extra padding in places like I do. However, guys seem to overwhelmingly say this is the Perfect Dick Flick.

I'm not sure about perfect but I really did love the part when she rips his skin off and pours salt on the poor guy. Good luck to all my single guy readers in getting your date for this upcoming Valentine's Day. Don't wait until the Fat Lady sings before you let go of your superficial notions and ask her out. Else you'll deserve getting the salt shaker treatment for being such a slug. (Just my biased and opinionated advice.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:16 PM   3 comments
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Who's Your Daddy?
SHREVEPORT, La. - In a mysterious bit of monkey business, a female at a chimpanzee sanctuary has given birth, despite the fact that the facility's entire male chimp population has had vasectomies.

Now managers at Chimp Haven are planning a paternity test for the seven males who lived in a group with Teresa, a wild-born chimpanzee in her late 40s who had the baby girl last week.

Chimp Haven is not a zoo but a retirement community for chimpanzees who are no longer needed for laboratory research. Located on 200 forested acres they provide a lush resort for these active seniors to romp, play, golf, swing from trees and socialize with one another.

Like most senior communities there was rumors of a little Hanky Panky happening time and time again without anyone giving it a thought. Especially with all of the males altered to only shoot blanks. Immaculate Conception was ruled out due to Teresa's shady past and now all the males must subject themselves to DNA testing.

The entire haven of about 18 chimpanzees are scheduled to report to the Jerry Springer Show in an unprecedented study to see if the chimps have adopted the behaviors of the Trailer Park residents that are nestled next door to the Haven.

Once they identify the father, it's back to the operating room for him and back to work at the Laboratory so he can start making child support payments.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:13 AM   3 comments
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Caution: Political Promises
While driving there are certain vehicles that I am uncomfortable having in front of me. School Buses, little old ladies and dump trucks loaded with rocks.

To be downwind of this pumper while on a leisurely Sunday Drive will guarantee that I'm taking the next right turn. Be sure to remember this photo when you vote on who you'll elect this year!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:10 PM   0 comments
Redneck Tinfoil Chef: Lemon Poppyseed Blueberry Bundt
Welcome to "Redneck Tinfoil Chef " where I'd like to feature healthy recipes for square meals on meager pockets. With such a busy schedule - saving time in the kitchen and having less dirty dishes in the sink is a plus. Here is a new favorite desert recipe that tastes and appears like you have slaved all day baking in a hot kitchen.

3 - 6.5oz pkgs of Betty Crocker Lemon Poppy Seed Muffin Mix
1 - 20oz can of Blueberry Pie Filling
1 - 1/3 cup of Powdered Sugar (Or Splenda)
3 - Tbs of Lemon Juice

Preheat Oven to 350. Grease and Flour Bundt pan completely. In one bowl mix just 2 packages of Poppy Seed Muffin Mix by adding required water. Pour into Bundt Pan then tilt the pan so the mixture clings up the sides just a tad.

Open the can of Blueberry Filling and spoon evenly around the center ring. In your mixing bowl do up the 1 remaining package of Poppy Seed Mix. Pour on top of blueberry that you just spooned in and bake for 50-55 minutes. Let cool.

In a small bowl add 1/3 cup of Powdered sugar and 3 tablespoons or so of Lemon Juice. Stir to make a glaze. Carefully plop cooled Bundt cake upside-down on a platter and simply drizzle the glaze over the top.

You'll have what seems to be one big fat blueberry pie filled - lemon poppyseed glazed doughnut! The consistency of both the muffin mix and filling will not bake or blend in with each other. The cake stays cake and the filling like pie. Yields 8-10 servings. (This can also be done as single serving muffins.)

Total Cost: $5.06. approximately .50 cents per person!
Prep Time: 15 minutes
Dishes in Sink: Bundt pan, Mixing Bowl, Glaze Bowl, 2 spoons and a spatula.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:14 PM   12 comments
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
THE SCOOTER by Deepak Gopi
Below is a short film by our very own favorite, Deepak the Great! The kindest, most sensitive man found on Blogger. An inspiring writer, actor and director from India who I am sure will be a super star someday.

If you enjoyed it be sure to leave him a comment at YouTube or Blooger and share a little kind encouragement.

Great work Deepak! I look forward to more.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:31 AM   7 comments
Sunday, January 14, 2007
Fast Food From the God Box
We didn't go to church today because it would have been illegal for us to go. Not directly mind you, but indirectly as we cannot drive until our vehicle tag renewals are processed. The limitations are endless and we can't break the law, not even a little bitty one without further devastating our current situations.

Funny, as we sit here at home on the eve of Martin Luther King, Jr.'s birthday; we don't feel free. In the same note we wouldn't have felt free today sitting in a church pew. Last Sunday I posted how we looked forward to the question, "How have you been?"

"Incarcerated," wasn't what we had planned to be the answer.

Ironically and by far the most liberating seat I sat in this week was in the lobby of the Chatham County Detention Center waiting for a loved one to be set free. In those four hours I heard more "Praise the Lord's", "Thank you Jesus's!" and "Good God Almighty's!" then I have heard sitting in a church pew for the past 39 years. Not a single sermon was uttered but in everyone a testimony shared.

Similar to going to a new church for the first time, I felt out of place. Perhaps for the first time in my entire life I felt like the minority. Yes, I was the only white person in the place and uncomfortable to boot. Through the first hour not a soul spoke to me but they spoke to themselves quietly about me. You can tell, you know. By the inquisitive stares with lifted eyebrows that seem to burn right through you.

Not the kind of look that makes a gal self conscious about her weight, a bad hair day or the pimple that she's hiding underneath a smear of Revlon cover-up. No, the kind of look that burns right through to the inside and puts the state of your heart, mind and soul into question. The kind of look that requires an answer quickly before you burn all to hell right then and there on the spot.

It was at that burning moment when a released inmate came barreling out into freedom from behind the double doors, when I heard my first, "Thank you Jesus!" He looked around in the lobby, hoping to find a familiar face. A family member or friend who was there to come and get him. Finding none, he went to the pay phones along the wall and emptied his pockets hoping for change. There was none.

Without a thought I handed him my cell phone and asked, "Do you need to call someone?"

His eyes lit up then shut down the moment he saw the big red sign that read, "NO CELL PHONE USE IN LOBBY".

"That's okay, just go outside and make your call." I said and he skipped on out to do just that.

Amazing, the burning stares stopped. The next three hours were filled with people offering me a seat. Sharing, caring, laughing and hoping together that the next released inmate would be one of ours.

One of ours. Not one of theirs, nor one of them. Simply, and with the greatest blessings.... one of ours.

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:50 PM   13 comments
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Sampling Savannah
Loved One's Story: "The police of Chatham County were conducting a study sampling the total population. I was merely a specimen of so called sampling. Just as your Doctor may require you to give the lab technician a blood sample so he can determine what is good and bad within your body. The same thing, only this was an instance of the policemen, sampling people from the streets of Savannah and bringing them into jail to determine what is good and bad within Savannah."

My Reply: "Bologna!"

So would 'ya all like to know how my evening went last night? Yeah, I thought not but I'm going to rant about it anyway.

A Loved One was pulled over about 3pm yesterday afternoon because their tag was expired and called me on the cellphone. "Just be nice to the policeman and let's hope he lets you go with a warning. Make up something. Say you forgot. Do your thing."

"But Margie?" he pleaded. "I have a ticket from a few months ago for running a red light that I didn't pay. I'm screwed."

"Yup, your screwed alright." I replied. "Call me when they're ready to haul you away, I'll come get the car."

I never been through such an experience before, sitting in any detention center of any sort, but it was very enlightening. I sat with others; wives, sisters, parents, friends and even a Grandmomma and heard all of their stories.

A big hoop hurray for Chief Berkow and the Savannah Police Department for their crime efforts. Not only have I noticed an increase in police presence, I sampled it.

It's taste; bittersweet.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:37 AM   9 comments
Friday, January 12, 2007
China Facing Major Gender Imbalance
China will have 30 million more men of marriageable age than women in less than 15 years as a gender imbalance resulting in part from the country's tough one-child policy.

Traditional preferences for sons has led to the widespread - but illegal - practice of women aborting babies if an early term sonogram shows it is a girl. The tens of millions of men who will not be able to find a wife could also lead to social instability problems.

Wow, it's about time they took notice but then again what a time to be a girl! The many choices, dates and swooning Romeos that could be standing outside their bedroom windows singing sonets declaring their love. Not nearly a good time would be had by the parents of girls. Not with tens of horny tomcats hanging out on your front lawn. But oh, what a wonderful time to be a girl.

After centuries of men having affairs, bigamous marriages and hoards of concubines and courts of wives - Women can finally turn the tables. Come on girls, admit it. Imagine having seven husbands. One for each day of the week. No need to worry about laundry, cleaning or cooking for if you can't employ a husband to do this for you - there will be seven paychecks coming in each week. You can afford to hire gay men to take care of domestic matters.

Each husband would try and do their best to remember each and every Anniversary. Valentine's Day will surround you with roses and mountains of chocolate. Women will finally be true Queens of their domain. As for their sex life, the possibilities endless.

At least until Super Bowl Sunday comes around.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:08 PM   6 comments
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
Calling ALL Cupids! "Michael Jordan"
Do you believe in fairy tales and charming young princes that sweep ladies off of their feet and carry them away into happily ever after?

Oh come on now! Just because it rarely happens doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Sure there are handsome men like Michael Jordan for instance, who fall in love, marry and find themselves not in a happily ever after situation. Gorgeous women too for that matter.

That's the situation here folks. Two individuals who are now lying in bed each night dreaming of Mr. or Mrs. Right for them. They need to find one another and may need a little bit of our help.

Miss Penny here is an outstanding woman. Chock full of devotion, emotion and love but has been searching endlessly for her soulmate. She won't settle for anything less. Rumor has it she may have a little crush per say on Michael Jordan. Who has recently filed for divorce and just may be searching for his soulmate soon enough.

So here be the quest, we need to carefully and subtly guide Michael Jordan away from the celebrity hoopla and give him the wonderful chance to meet Miss Penny. With his agents on the ball, high security fences and other celebrity have it alls, I am quite sure that Michael Jordan is already being stalked by obsessed and out of control women. This folks, is not what Penny is all about and why I believe that Michael Jordan needs the opportunity to finally find true love.

I'm sure Michael Jordan "Googles" himself and if not his agents do. Even President Bush recently said, "I've been to the Google and know what people are saying about me." So we need to put Miss Penny right up there on the search engines for the term Michael Jordan. In order to do that, we need as many people as possible to blog about Miss Penny, link to her and load their blog posts down with the term "Michael Jordan."

It's a long shot, but it's a shot that Miss Penny so deserves. So come on girls and guys - clap your hands if you believe in fairies and magical fairy tale wishes and blog about Miss Penny being the perfect date for Mr. Michael Jordan. Let's give her a hand by being her very special little cupids.

If all goes as planned, Miss Penny and Michael Jordan may both have a date this Valentines Day!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:10 AM   10 comments
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
The Arrogant American
Many years ago, I met a friend over the internet who lives in South Africa. It was great corresponding with him and sharing our thoughts and our cultures.

He is an anthropologist and I yearned to know more about others around the world, for my knowledge of any place outside of America was severely limited. Eventually our friendship clashed and he as much referred to me as a typical arrogant American asshole.

Looking back I think he may had been right.

(Click on image to enlarge)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 4:28 PM   12 comments
Monday, January 08, 2007
The Trailer Park Herald
AUSTIN, Texas - Tucked amid $600,000 condominiums in this tony neighborhood is a mobile-home community of self-described "bourgeoisie bohemians" so popular there is a waiting list of people ready snap up any site that comes open.

Actor Matthew McConaughey has a spot, although he is not around often. The rest of the Pecan Grove Park's residents include artists, counselors, an attorney and a software developer. They live here year-round or seasonally in 40-60 foot mobile homes and Airstreams.

Some have moved out of big homes to join the community and rent sites that cost up to $370 a month, and they don't regret it for one minute, Pecan Grove manager Robert McCartney said. "Some residents come and go because they work in multiple cities. Some would rather pursue pastimes such as traveling or rock climbing than spend time and money on a house."

Well Hello? It's what I've been saying for months. There is nothing as great as living in a home that you can drive away or take with you. I've been at both ends as I once had the house with the monthly mortgage as well as the apartment dwelling nightmares. It is terrible to spend all of that money on something so fixed or renting a place that will never be yours.

The freedoms of a mobile-home are great and the expenses small. If you don't like your new neighbors just move a few lots away or miles away. Plug yourself into the nearest utility pole, hook up to the hose and drop the shit pipe. That's all there is to it!

30 year monthly payments of $1800 or more isn't living. Heck, I'll be almost 70 by then and I don't want to work that hard for a simple roof over my head that could burn down or blow off whenever the weather permits. $370 a month and I'm going to be traveling, living and enjoying the finer things in life. Who wants to "stay" home all of the time? Not me.

Trailer Parks are so cool and now we're having rich people moving in!

Oh crap, now there goes the neighborhood.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:19 PM   8 comments
Sunday, January 07, 2007
Fast Food From the God Box
One of our New Years Resolutions as a growing family was to start going to Church again. With the Husband graduating from college this year will bring upon us many choices and chances for development. To grow together as a family we need to water all the areas for intellectual, physical, spiritual, social and emotional growth. Regardless of what faith you practice, fellowship with like-minded others provides encouraging and inspiring living water to quench your thirst for growth.

Take all of your values and habits and hold them up to your own personal growth chart. You may have done this already when considering the making of your New Years Resolutions. I'm sure you will or have already discovered that:

a) some are good and just need to be reaffirmed;
b) some are inconsistent and need to be reinforced;
c) some are underdeveloped and need to be refined;
d) some are harmful and need to be put away.

So off to church we went this morning. We pondered over whether we should go to the church we belonged to over two years ago or a new one. We decided on a new one because we outgrown our old church when we became a family. The main reason we stopped going was due to the lack of children services.

Although apprehensive there is always a bit of excitement when going to a new place for the first time. Whether it be a new college, job, community or church. You come as your are, find yourself welcomed then soon find yourself asked, "Where have you been?."

Next week they'll ask, "How have you been?"

I look forward to next week.

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:44 PM   10 comments
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Butchering the Beatles
Like many people, my taste in music varies depending on my mood. Sometimes the mood calls for the perfect country & western song. You know, anything at all about Mama, or Trains, or Trucks, or Prison or Getting Drunk.

While cleaning house a bit of Club Music with a touch of New Wave usually does the trick and gets me motivated. Sometimes the mood hits that puts me on a Wayback machine and I'm not talking 50's hip-hop. Nope, we're talking crooning to the tunes of Frankie Sinatra, Rosemary Clooney and swaying to Johnny Mercer.

Then there are times that call for a rocking, jamming and adrenaline pumping head-banging session. Not just a little chicken head bobbing to the beat kind of thing either. I'm talking about shaking my head wildly and moshing on the floor with the Basset hounds. The heavy rock and metal type of music that should display warning labels on the CD covers concerning it's impairing effect while driving in traffic. The kind of music that is sure to land you a speeding ticket or worse, like driving into a ditch during a screaming metal guitar riff.

Today I'm going to touch on cover songs and albums. I rarely tread down this path unless the song was such a dud of a song originally and a new band manages to rock it to pieces. Then there are certain bands and artists that I am religiously devoted to in their original form, such as The Beatles for instance.

However, last night during a Friday night jam session I happened upon this recently released Cover Album called, "Butchering the Beatles." I was astonished and blown off my seat in pure head-banging joy. As a Beatles fan the songs remained faithful but as for the metal fan in me, the solo sections displayed incredible talent. From Alice Cooper, Steve Vai, Duff McKagen and Mikkey Dee. Yngwie Malmsteem on the guitar brings the classic "Magical Mystery Tour" to heights I've never deemed imaginable.

May I suggest for anyone interested to clear a space on your living room floor, secure and fasten down all potential flying objects such as knick-knacks or family heirlooms. Crank up the volume and download these must-have, astonishing, incredible and rocking tracks:

"Hey Bulldog" by Alice Cooper
"Hey Jude" by Doug Pinnick
"Magical Mystery Tour" featuring Yngwie Malmsteen
"Daytripper" by Kip Winger
"Drive My Car" by Jeff Scott
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:16 PM   7 comments
Friday, January 05, 2007
Westlake Mayor Dudley Dixon Sports Woody
On December 30th, Westlake, Louisiana's first black mayor of this overwhelmingly white town started learning his new job. But by 10 p.m. Gerald "Wash" Washington was dead in the deserted parking lot of a former high school, a bullet wound in his chest. His gun was found by the body.

Although ruled a suicide by the police and coroner departments, Washington's death has sparked rumors that this entire thing is a conspiracy. Some have accused police of covering up a murder - perhaps a racially motivated one.

"He had a smile that would just light up this room," said the outgoing mayor, Dudley Dixon who is now back standing in at the Mayor's office. Oddly enough, on the day of his death, Washington met Dixon about noon at City Hall, where he learned about the alarm system. The men lowered the flag to half-staff, to commemorate the death of former President Ford.

Odder yet, something seemed to jump out at me after looking at the AP photo of Dudley Dixon taken earlier today. Trust me, there isn't anything half-staffed to see here!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:23 PM   3 comments
Redneck Tinfoil Chef: Ministrone Soup
Welcome to the new weekly feature "Redneck Tinfoil Chef " where I'd like to feature healthy recipes for square meals on meager pockets. With the Husband in his final year of college we've found the old cliche' that a "penny saved is a penny earned", wise and welcomed advice.

This is a tried and true recipe that I had made up quite a few years ago. I'm making it again today despite the warm weather and it is not only very tasty and healthy - but it is one of the easiest recipes that I've ever thrown together.

1 - 1 lb. (Approx) bag of frozen mixed vegetables for soup.
1 - 15 oz. can of Kidney Beans. (drain & rinse)
1 - 15 oz. can of Tomato Sauce.
1 - 15 oz. can of lo-sodium beef broth
2 - 15 oz. cans of water
1/2 cup of uncooked elbow noodles. (or ABC pasta)
1 - 8 oz. bag of sliced pepperoni.

Literally just toss frozen vegetables, can of rinsed kidney beans, can of tomato sauce, beef broth and 2 cans of water into crock-pot set on high. After 1 hour toss in 1/2 cup of uncooked elbow noodles. After another hour toss in pepperonis. I like to slice them in half into semi circles. Stir soup well and serve anytime after 1/2 hour.

There is no need to add salt or spices for the Pepperoni is already loaded down with them and will distribute the flavor throughout the soup while cooking. Sometimes if we are battling winter colds I will add a chopped onion and extra garlic to the soup. Great with slices of warmed French bread or if you'd rather - Cheddar Cheese Flavored Goldfish Crackers adds a delightful touch. (According to my 4 year old daughter and grown up husband.)

Freezes well and yields up to 12 hearty servings for lunches or supper.

Total Cost (excluding bread or crackers) $5.08. That's .42 cents per person!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:44 PM   4 comments
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Where's Waldo?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:25 PM   2 comments
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Official Held in Saddam Hanging Video
The person believed to have recorded Saddam Hussein's execution on a cell phone camera was arrested Wednesday. Iraqi state television broadcast an official video of Saturday's hanging, which had no audio and never showed Saddam's actual death. But the leaked cell phone video showed the deposed leader being taunted in his final moments, with witnesses shouting "Go to hell!" before he dropped through the gallows floor and died.

Gosh, I hate blogging about political matters but here I go. What's this? Iraqi State Television edits, releases and broadcasts a clean little video. Removing the audio and zooming in to make it appear that Saddam faced Justice in a neat and orderly manner. Then hours later an unedited cellphone version appears with sound that shows that it was not so neat and orderly after all. Showing that America handed Saddam over to a barbaric taunting lynch mob, or rather those who are in charge and leading the country now.

Now they go and arrest the guy who recorded and released the video. Looks like Iraq doesn't employ the rights of freedom of press or speech. Nor does it want to base the country's new beginnings on evident truths. The entire country is one big disaster in my opinion. If this fact wasn't clear before it is crystal clear now.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not against the death penalty at all. In fact I feel that Saddam was afforded a less traumatic death than he gave to many of his victims. However I do feel that his death now will only escalate tensions and sectarian violence in Iraq. A part of me actually distrusts those Iraqi's in power now just as much as I distrusted Saddam and his administration.

Does President Bush really think that when all is said and done, Iraq will be a good little country and will prove to be America's allies and friend? That they will be thankful and full of praise to America for liberating them? He's off his rocker or something because I have a grave feeling it isn't going to go down like that at all.

Some of the last words Saddam heard, according to the leaked cell phone video, were a chant of "Muqtada, Muqtada, Muqtada," a reference to Muqtada al-Sadr, the radical anti-American Shiite cleric. Notice it wasn't a reference to any Anti-American Sunni for I have a feeling the only Sunni invited to the party was Saddam Hussein himself. Many Sunni cities were under a militant imposed curfew at this time to encourage silence and discourage violence.

As a Republican I have come to the decision that this is a course I really don't want to stay on. Let alone send 20,000 more honorable men and women of the US armed forces risking their lives to continue. If we cut and run what is the worse that is going to happen? A bunch of anti-American barbaric terrorists will rule over Iraq? Well, heck that is what is evidently happening anyway. The only perfect scenario for America would be to take Iraq over and turn it into America's 51st state.

If we're not going to do this, then let's cut and run and let them sort themselves out. I no longer want my tax dollars and American lives fighting to support a growing anti-American government that is just as distrustful, evil, twisted and barbaric as it was under the reign of Saddam Hussein.

(Stepping down off my soapbox and I'm sorry if y'all hate me now.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:13 PM   9 comments

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