Sunday, September 30, 2007
Margie Unplugged, "It's October!"
From now until New Year's Day, this is my favorite time of year. I love the cooler weather, the sun going down earlier and of course, decorating. That is what we have been busy doing all weekend.

Although it's a little too early for pumpkin carving we let Squirt have at it with one of the pumpkins we had bought today. Notice the "Wooooo hoooo" Ghost tree behind her.

But of course we live in a mobile home and what would Halloween be without a gargantuan Trailer Park light up plastic pumpkin?

Or perhaps a drunken fly by Witch who crash landed in my side garden.

We had a ball decorating our main front garden also. Yes, those are upside down Coca-Cola bottles for edging - I'm in the process of lining all of my gardens with these. For of course, we must stick with the trailer park theme throughout the entire year.

We also spooked out our Norwood Pine for the festive spooky season.

Remember those "Whoooo Hoooo" Ghosts flying in that there mutant redbud bush/tree?

Can anyone guess what they are made out of?

It all Depends! Mr. & Mrs. IOH accidentally purchased the wrong kind of protective undergarments. They were supposed to buy the easy Pull-up just like big kids pants kind but got stuck with these gargantuan diapers from hell instead. They told me to find someone who may need them and I couldn't. They've been in the back of my SUV for over two months now.

As I was about to throw the package away I noticed that upside down they kind of looked like "Woooo Hooo" Ghosts. So with a little imagination, a Sharpie Marker and some string we landed 20 giant brand new "Wooooo Hoooo" Ghosts.

Keeping with the trailer park theme, 'ya know. It's kind of cool if you think about it. For there is no way on God's green earth that I would be able to get away with hanging adult diapers in a tree if I lived within a gated community.


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:19 PM   5 comments
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 6:56 PM   3 comments
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
Eavesdropping VOIP
"A startup has come up with a new way to make money from phone calls connected via the Internet: having software listen to the calls, then displaying ads on the callers' computer screens based on what's being talked about. For instance, a caller talking about going for dinner might see ads to local restaurants and restaurant review sites, while someone pondering whether to buy a new computer might see ads for computer stores."

Or maybe talk about the evening news report on Bin Laden and have a swat team burst through your picture window.

How lovely.

So let's see, what would a typical conversation with Mom look like?


Me: "Hi Mom. How are you? And the family?"

Mom: "We're all doing well. Dad's looking forward to Hunting Season next week."

Popup Ad:
Mom: "How are you? Gon and that darling little granddaughter of mine?"

Me: "Great. Both are in school. Squirt in Pre-K and Gon in his final year of college."

Popup Ad:
Mom: "My, oh my. Staying busy, huh? Guess another grandchild is out of the question this year?"

Me: "Oh Mom. Come on now, I told you. This factory is closed."

Popup Ad:
Mom: "I see Squirt's birthday is coming. Also Christmas. Any idea on what she wants?"

Me: "She wants everything but needs clothes. Hello Kitty stuff is a plus. A new Sit & Spin may work also, she has worn out the ball bearings on her old one."

Popup Ad:
Mom: "Why look. There's an ad for ball bearings. Can't you just replace them?"

Me: "No Mom. Stuff doesn't work like that anymore. I don't think."

Mom: "You should be able to get the old balls out and put new balls in quite easily."

Popup Ad:
Me: "Oh geez, Mom. Now look what you made Pop up."


Looks like I'm going to stick with my Landline and Cell phone services for now.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:11 AM   6 comments
Monday, September 24, 2007
Defending Don Lowery
During the last two weeks we've heard numerous accounts concerning Don Lowery. From those who know him to those who don't. Like myself for instance.

It seems whenever there is tragic news story, from as far away as Virginia Tech to right next door - there is a need in all of us to wonder how the clock ticked leading up to such moments of desperation.

Perhaps in a desire to stop a tragedy or near tragedy from happening again?

I don't know Mr. Lowery but I do know at least a dozen people who are currently experiencing the clock ticking towards hopelessness. Taken for granted often are the false promises of health, safety and prosperity. We all share the same sense of invincibleness when it comes to these three areas. Yet, any one of us could be standing in a bank on any day of the week and turn up a victim of happenstance.

When it comes to health, certainly there are those who have fallen ill due to their lifestyle and habits. However there are also those who eat healthy, run seven miles each morning, finish grad school and land the perfect job. Only, sometimes a person can wake up one morning to the tune of MS for example, and the clock begins to tick.

Ticking slowly as more and more work days are missed due to medical tests and treatments. Eventually their boss lets them go. Nothing personal of course, but the bottom line is work needs to be done and isn't. Such a person honestly tries to find re-employment but that is difficult to do considering they must disclose their illness and treatment schedules.

Speaking of treatment, let us not forget about the medications. Whether it be Cirrhosis or MS, many of the medications prescribed are narcotic and/or mind altering. There is something for pain and another to relax your MS muscle twitching. The loss of a job and other pressures may lead to depression, in turn leads to yet another pill to swallow with your morning coffee. For what these people suffer from there isn't yet a cure, only treatment.

Eventually the car or home loan company is hounding them on the phone. The utilities are about to be shut off and food is scarce upon their table. We would think that filing for SSDI would be the answer, but I know a 57 year old blind, double amputee due to diabetes who was turned down three times in a row.

It's not a bad thing that SSDI puts all people through a wringer, after all this is our tax money. Yet time and time again, I've seen people who are terminally ill turned down. Turned down after waiting over six months for a determination. Appealing and waiting yet another six months. Meanwhile, who is there to keep the lights on, cans in the pantry or even worse, make their next health insurance payment?

Welfare? Think again if there are any assets to be had. Simply, if you own a house, IRA or stocks of any kind - you are expected to liquidate these before collecting from the public coffers. Years of hard work, saving and preparation for your family and future will have to pay off now. Perhaps all of this financial stress leaves you divorced or you were single to begin with - did you know that making anything over $12K a year disqualifies you from welfare, food stamps or much needed Medicaid?

The clock ticks forward, your medical treatments to prevent your illness progression have stopped because you are no longer insured. Clinics are your only option and they aren't specialists - they can only prescribe medications to help you cope. You don't know if you have one week, one year or 10 years before the clock stops ticking.

Attempting to rob a bank was wrong, but it isn't wrong in the mind of a person having a complete emotional, financial and physical breakdown complicated by mind altering medications. To such a person living in such a bad dream - reality doesn't make sense anymore.

They just want to wake up but the alarm clock never goes off. Instead, they go off..

To defend or to convict Mr. Lowery all depends on who we believe keeps hitting the snooze button. Who exactly needs to wake up?

My guess, it's us.


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:12 PM   4 comments
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Where, Oh where is Africa?

(Click image to enlarge)

Back in January I posted a map of the Arrogant American. At least they didn't forget the entire African continent in that map.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:30 PM   6 comments
Friday, September 21, 2007
When the kids won't clean their room...
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:16 PM   1 comments
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Human Hypochondriac Case of West Nile Found in County
By all means, I'm not a hypochondriac. In fact, the complete opposite as I tend to deny any illness, by masking it with OTC meds, prayer, OD'ing on vitamins and OJ and outright refusing to let anything get me down.

Unless you're the Peg Bundy type, any Mom will attest there is no such notion as down time. The difference between the mythical Bigfoot and myself? Sasquatch has not a single good excuse for not shaving his legs.

So after reading this mornings article on a reported case of human West Nile Virus in our county, I wanted to know what are the symptoms of this disease. The CDC reports that WNV can be asymptomatic (no symptoms). In mild cases:

"It is estimated that about 20% of people who become infected with WNV will develop West Nile fever. Symptoms include fever, headache, tiredness, and body aches, occasionally with a skin rash and swollen lymph glands. While the illness can be as short as a few days, even healthy people have reported being sick for several weeks."

Oddly for the last few weeks my husband has noted that I've been "hot". Unfortunately, he didn't mean hot as in sexy but hot as in, "are you about to spontaneously combust or something?" He kicks me out of bed as I toss and turn each night, with me simply figuring that "Hot flash" years are quickly approaching.

Tiredness? That has got to be normal, I toss and turn all night and run ragged all day. Headaches/stiff neck just means I need more caffeine or another pillow.

Skin rash is also normal as I break out to almost anything. Could be those fire ants, mosquitoes, the new soap, shampoo or that lavender fresh Bounce sheet. In fact, I could even chalk a rash up to razor burn since I finally found the time to shave without running out of hot water.

Top that off with a chronic cough overlooked by a pack of Marlboro 100's per day. Then sprinkle with Pre-K communicable cold brought home to family per week statistics - You'll have the perfect, healthy image of moi'.

Or do you have an unreported case of West Nile Virus?

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:41 AM   4 comments
Monday, September 17, 2007
Sent to the Principal's Office
I knew it was bound to happen someday, but I had no idea Squirt would be sent to the Principal's Office just 11 days into Pre-K.

Seems a little boy in her class is quite smitten with her and just when he thought the teacher wasn't looking, stole himself a big fat kiss. They both were sent to the office and both reprimanded.

She is only four, by golly. What am I gonna do for the next 14 years?

I think I'll start with having Daddy drop her off to school tomorrow so he can stare down every boy in her class. Intimidating Daddy maneuvers still work in this day and age, don't they?


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 4:14 PM   11 comments
Friday, September 14, 2007
Trim Your Bush Part II
I seem to sense a bit of ire because yesterday's post, "Trim Your Bush" was all about electricity. To be fair and not to disappoint, enjoy "Trim Your Bush Part II".

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:42 PM   2 comments
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Trim your Bush
My electric bill came in the mail yesterday. $420 for a 2 bedroom/2 bath 12 x 60 mobile home! Normally I love the number 420, I get giddy just thinking about it, but to find it on my electric bill - that was downright obscene.

For the last few months I've been complaining about my bill to our neighbors. They all have an electric bill down in the $200 range. I've insulated, saved power, turned off every light that was not in use and even been cooking outside on the grill.

Something isn't right.

Today in the mail came a notice from Georgia Power saying that my bill was estimated because the meter was not visible. I am to trim my bush before the next meter reading on October 3, 2007. There's only one major problem. There isn't a bush anywhere near my meter.

Something definitely isn't right.

So I called them this afternoon to explain my concerns. I work in McMansions that have lower electric bills and this doesn't make sense. The customer service representative gave me a ton of possibilities.

1) "Mobile Homes aren't insulated". (I can't buy this because we personally gutted this place, put up insulation and new floors, ceiling, walls and windows. It's airtight.)

2) "Using Air Conditioning." (Oh, now why didn't I consider that? How silly of me. NOT. Half of my neighbors also have AC and have it set to Arctic and still have lower monthly bills.)

3) "This bill was estimated." (Yes and about that? There isn't a bush near my meter.) "It says specifically here that you do and it must be trimmed." (No bush. A blade of grass maybe. Five feet below the meter. Otherwise the meter is in full view at any angle.)

Lastly she told me something that almost blew me out of my seat. Electric rates are DOUBLE from June 1st to August 31st. In other words I may have used just as many kilowatt hours air conditioning and running my home back in May when my bill was $210. However, this bill falls in a period of DOUBLE rates and is now $420. September's bill will fall back to the normal single rate.

I understand the laws of economics. That supply and demand set the price and that in the summertime - electric is in greater demand. But to DOUBLE the rate? No wonder the elderly on fixed incomes are being found dead in their homes during a heat wave. Someone should put a meter on the Power Company to regulate them. We have no other choice in provider and they can get away with this? All the while they've been nickel and dime'ing the normal flat rate every three months or so.

Sounds like there really is bush in the way that needs trimming. It's time we start seeing the power companies for who they really are. I'm about ready to pull the plug on them.


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:16 PM   8 comments
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
The Britney Fiasco
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. I'm sick of hearing all of this celebrity crap talk concerning Britney or anyone else for that matter. Sure she totally bombed at the Video Music Awards and I'm sure there are many reasons why. What bugs me is all the talk about the shape that her body is in.

Granted, this black sequined bikini is the wrong choice of attire for her. However, the cut ups by the media calling her fat, porky and disgusting need to chill out. Fuller Figures are beautiful and she's a Mom twice over now. This sort of attitude is what causes young women to go off into an anorexic spiral and it's unhealthy.

A call to all of my "guy readership" out there, would you tap your girl if she owned a body like this?

I also must give a shout out to Britney, although I sincerely doubt that she will ever lay eyes upon my Bloggage - but I'm gonna do it anyway....

Girl, reinvent yourself. You're 25 and officially out of the "Girls Gone Wild" phase. Especially now that you are a young Momma. Your career isn't over but it has evolved. It's time to set the stage for your sons and display your talents employing a little class and sass.

You're now in the MILF stage and take it from me, you can still be sexy. In fact even sexier with a little class and discretion. You may not remember Dolly Parton but she had her years and a wonderful talent and singing voice. Her boobs were wonderful and STILL are for many - but there came a point when her loins needed a bit of girthing.

So Girlfriend, if you're listening. Girdith thy loins and reinvent thyself before you sprout some sideburns and morph into another Elvis.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:20 AM   8 comments
Monday, September 10, 2007
Happy September 11th!
“When pain is to borne, a little courage helps more than much knowledge, a little human sympathy more than much courage, and the least tincture of the love of God more than all.” -- C. S. Lewis

I just watched a video this evening titled "Prosperity or No Matter What" that got me thinking. It seems the "American Way" is to place our entire lives into health, safety and prosperity. Our politicians tempt us with promises concerning these things and always seem to fail.

Ms. Iron Abs exercises two hours a day and eats like a rabbit in order to avoid getting ill - only to die a victim of crime. Then there is Mr. Moneybags who works like a dog 16 hours a day, missing out on his family in order to sustain his retirement plan. Only he never gets to retire because a heart attack does him in at the young age of 51.

Bad things happen. They have happened in some degree to all of us. If we look back upon our lives we are all sure to sit back, reflect and have a solemn moment of remembrance. That's fine. In fact, that's fine to do today. Go on and reflect.

Funny thing about mirrors, they reflect also. It is the image that becomes turned around. Like your name tag or the word "Ambulance" on the front of a rescue vehicle. Unless your Count Dracula, of course; who's image is reported never to be reflected in a mirror due to his evil nature.

Bad is not to be reflected for it is our human nature to stop it in its tracks. It is in our nature to turn it around. To make a right. To learn from a mistake. To use better judgment. Perhaps even to hug our loved ones and tell them that we love them more.

As a Christian one of the toughest questions to answer is "Why would God allow this?" Dr. John made a great analogy last week on how this infamous day brought to Americans a loss of liberty for the sake of security. God had to make a similar decision but instead gave us freedom of choice and liberty even though He knew that bad stuff can happen by those who choose to do so.

Most confusing were the many Bible verses that state Joy is found through suffering. Verses like James 1;2, "Count it a joy when you meet trials." or Romans 5:3, "We rejoice in our sufferings." I never really understood them, until now.

I turn 40 today and as a milestone, I've been reflecting quite often in these past few weeks. I suffered many times and often wondered why. Much like taking Trigonometry in High School - I wondered, why? Would I ever use such a lesson? How would it ever apply to anything I want to do with my life? Why would God allow this and that to happen?

Yet, today all around me is lots of good stuff. A gorgeous daughter even though I thought I'd never be a Mother just six years ago. A great husband. Lots of great friends who I love and whom love me right back. An adoring dog sleeping at my feet. Above all a LOT of fantastic memories.

As I blow out the flaming forest fire of candles upon my cake today, I can wish for another year to make more memories with. To progress, to learn, and to grow. But most of all, to reflect the joy that is in my heart - that surpasses all suffering. To keep on keeping on and to keep turning the bad moments around.

After all we're never promised health, safety or prosperity but we can be assured we will end up in someone's memory. Reflect good and make their memories good. It is in our power to do just that.

Happy September 11th and now, go out and turn things upside down.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:15 PM   4 comments
Sunday, September 09, 2007
We're Back!
I came home to find some fairly great guesses in my comment section to where we were heading this weekend. We did have a taste of Australia as well as South America and Africa. I'm not so sure about France but we did see, hear and feel a side of Madagascar that was a bit frightening.

I've been wondering about Madagascar for over a year now. Trying to figure out why my Clustrmaps Map never shows any site traffic from there. However, now after meeting up with a few Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches, I think I know why. These have got to be the most evilest bugs of all. Who would want to actually live there?

Anyhoo, we left Friday night to go down to Jacksonville, Florida for a little weekend getaway. Our Fortieth birthdays are this week and we thought it a grand idea to go enjoy ourselves. We arrived at our hotel room just before dinner. We had a comp stay at the Hilton Embassy Suites, which I have to shamelessly plug right now as being the best hotel I've ever had the pleasure of staying in.

Even Squirt, by her own reasoning called the Hotel, "The God Place." With gorgeous marble floors, iron railings, gold trim and chandeliers this place is fit for a Princess. It's no wonder she thought Baby Jesus must live there.

We checked in and decided to have dinner and drinks and just go back up to our room to relax for the night. After all, it was a very long drive down, during rush hour no less. Dinner was great and the drinks fantastic and lucky for us, Squirt fell to sleep almost right away.

Time to see what's available on TV!

We shouldn't had been shocked, but the channels offered quite a wide array of PORN. Pay for porn of course, but I wasn't offended until we surfed upon this:

Here I am about to turn into a 40 year old MILF and up comes this discouraging scene. Older Broads Porn. What offended me was the price, $13.99 for 2 hours. A Double Feature or rather a "Buy One Get One Free" offer. The next porn video we browsed by offered this:

I never felt so cheapened in my life. $13.99 buys only 1 hour of Busty, blond Porn featuring the younger ladies. Seems there is a clearance sale on us old ladies. Being not thrilled over the possibility of a BOGO offer - I made Gon shut down that menu and we watched a Spongebob Squarepants Marathon instead.

We woke up the next morning. Well, okay... some of us did....

One of us is very picky about his morning cup of coffee and won't get vertical until he receives 98 cc's of caffeine. Although the Hotel was top notch, I never met a hotel that offered decent in room coffee. It was off to Starbucks so Gon could snort some espresso and soon he was upright and we had arrived... at the ZOO!!

I quickly dashed by the stork exhibit, fearing one may unload another child upon me.

...but the stalking storks were everywhere! All you had to do was look up and one might plop a packaged bundle or splat on your head.

Next, there were pink ones, real live pink flamingos. To think, there was not a trailer park in sight.

Over in Africa we met some mean looking vulture from hell, meat eating kinds of birds....

Trust me, you wouldn't want to step on this guy while strolling through the Savannah.

Then of course, lest I forget - those birds that must sit upon your head and own you

There were so many birds that after awhile we began to get hungry for lunch. Chicken seemed to be the choice of the day for me, as I opted to take the stairs down to the luncheon area.

Yet there are always those who feel they're never too old or fat assed to take the short way down.

As I nursed Gon back to his feet and tended to his scraped knees and forehead, Squirt ran off to the wishing well. Looks like any Daddy will do when it comes to asking for some money.

Now this next picture from South America may raise a few questioning eyebrows.

Seems Squirt was LIVID at this cactus. It didn't do anything but sit there, but as she walked by she screamed and threw a handful of rocks at it! It took me awhile to figure her out, but this is the first time she has ever seen a real live cactus outside of her Saturday Morning Cartoon shows.

She thought it would animate, get up and prick her in the backside!!!!

After lunch we strolled over to Africa and met this poor, sad and lonely giraffe.

Who of course, was just out to get a little attention and loving.

Next in line was the great African Elephants....

This girl seemed to be a bit perturbed at having her picture taken. She strolled on by as if to say, "I got something for you - Margie, and that pesky camera of yours."

(WARNING: Objectionable and offensive material ahead!)

She turned around right in front of me to show what appeared to be a dilating vagina!!!

A vagina that kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I had to keep snapping photos - for I seriously thought a baby elephant was about to be born by the size of things.

But no.... no cute, adorable pink baby elephants appeared. =O(

Instead I got a great shot and whiff of SHTEIN!! I remember thinking Dr. Chip would be so proud of me, so to Dr. Chip I dedicate my Elephant Episodes. =O)

(End of Offensive Material)

It seems halfway through the Zoo and Safari, Little Missy decided to complain that her feet were aching.

So home to the Hilton we went. As I opened up the sliding doors to stand out on the balcony of our Penthouse Suite - I noticed a few Zoo Pals followed us back home.

Good God Almighty, and you could bet - those white things in those there trees were ALL storks stalking me!! These birds stalked outside of our window for the entire stay. If I land pregnant over this weekend get away, y'all know why!

Saturday night we were off to a special birthday dinner . I'm sorry about the poor photo of me here, but you hadn't already figured it out - I'm the superstar photographer in this family.

Or rather the one with the big purse who can be laden down with bulky items. Items such as cameras, cell phones, hand sanitizer and a first aid kit.

Then back to Savannah, Georgia we drove home today, but not without first stopping at the Pecan Park Flea Market to look at junk, try our hand at cat-fishing and of course - a spin around the Go Kart Track.

That's it. A simple, relaxing weekend and a much needed break for us all.

I gotta say, it was great to go away and come back to our hotel to find Maids had been there and cleaned for us. So much so, I kidnapped a busty, young, blond one and stuffed her in my luggage.

I wonder what they eat?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 6:23 PM   10 comments
Friday, September 07, 2007
I'm going to go away. Haha. Hehe. HoHo.
Later this afternoon I'll be leaving for a fun filled, relaxing mini vacation.

A much needed one at that. Any guesses to where we are going?

We'll be back Sunday night with lots of pictures.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:50 AM   7 comments

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