Friday, August 18, 2006
Margie Unplugged
A little over 9 years ago Princess Di had that terrible accident. Before I tell you where I was at on that hour the news was announced to the world, let me quickly go over where Princess Di was at.

She finally wore her true blue smile. She ditched "Big Ears" and risked everything to become her own self-made woman. She finally tasted what it is like to really live happily ever after and then she dies.

My 30th birthday was just around the corner. There I was married to "No Ears" (seriously he resembled Kermit the Frog) and was so miserable in life I don't think I had smiled for the past 12 years. I'll spare everyone the long haul of blame, misery and woe. Just recall some old Jerry Springer episodes and you'll get the picture.

On my birthday I wanted to die but like most people, I am too scardy-cat to actually go through with it. Then I thought it would be cool if I accidentally died by car accident or something, where I wouldn't see it coming. It was at that very moment a realization hit me.

"Shit! If I did die in an accident right now, unlike Princess Di - I have never truly lived!! What a waste of a miserable life that would be. It would mean I have suffered so much for nothing. Oh hell no! Screw that!"

I set a date that day to pack up whatever I could in my '93 Mercury Cougar and move far away from New Jersey to Georgia. November 1st came and I went. Even tore the rear-view mirror off Gosh Darn It!! I sang my little heart out with joy all the way down I-95. My life was about to be lived!

That I did. I risked everything, lost much and sacrificed a lot. However I gained 100x more in just five years, when shortly before my 35th birthday while driving a brand new car - I looked up in the rear-view mirror (hadn't had one of those in awhile) and saw a speeding bus barrelling down on my backside.

By that day I had went to college, had a degree, had my own business, met and married my Prince Charming and was 23 weeks pregnant with our first child. The oncoming bus reminded me of my prayer just 5 years before.

We often wonder what a person thinks during those last few seconds of their life. For me, I smiled and prayed out loud, "Thy Will be Done." I was going to be content with whatever God wanted to happen. If it were for me to die, that would had been sad but okay because I had a chance to live. I was so happy in my life. So thankful. I had not a single regret of things that I should have done because I risked and lost so much doing them. I had lived!!!

So it ends up I had lived - through the whole Greyhound Bus runs over Pregnant Lady in car incident.

If I could give anything to the many friends, enemies and acquaintances that I have met here on the grand ole Blogosphere - I would want it to be my last few seconds of thoughts. To give you that peace, that humble yet confident feeling to know that your life was lived. That you and your words and actions made someone's everything worthwhile.

For after all, in the end... it is your life that you take with you. You can't take nothing or anybody along for the ride. It is all about you!

So what are y'all going to do over this weekend?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 5:27 PM  
  • At 6:30 PM, Blogger Ian said…

    Not so long ago, I would have given up everything for what I wanted. Unfortunately, the other person involved wasn't prepared to do the same. Sometimes it's not as easy as just making a decision to do something. But I'm glad it was for you :)

    This weekend - tonight having drinks with a friend, tomorrow spending the day with another friend :)

  • At 7:57 PM, Blogger Jo said…

    What a wonderful story! That brought tears to my eyes. It's one of those stories that I tuck back in my brain and remember it when I need inspiration. Thanks for sharing!

  • At 9:28 PM, Blogger drëâmè® said…

    Wow... woman you've got some strength... to just start over when you feel everything is wrong. I feel like I'd just go down the hill of depression if I were ever to reach a low point in my life. But yeah... this entry will give me something to look back to, if one day I find myself in some low ditch I can't climb out of.

    Much respect for your strength :)


  • At 9:48 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    Ian: I understand completely. After my Bus experience things changed. I'll blog about that in another week or so. An "other" person can and will change all of the equations.

    Jo: The old adage is true, you don't even spend time nor have time to regret what you have done in live - only time to regret what you didn't. You can go back to studying Geology even if it is only one class per week/semister. I've found so far the best way to empower our children is to first empower ourselves. Show by example how it's done. =O)

    Sahar: It's in my moments of weakness when I find my greatest strength. I try to take the attitude of: "The harder the ball is thrown down the higher it bounces" mindset.

  • At 11:00 PM, Blogger R2K said…

    That image BLOWS MY MIND!

    I want to be there!

  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    Freedom is a wonderful thing. You left no ears for freedom and you found freedom in the "Thy will bw done" prayer.WE have true freedom in the Christ who died for us. What a wonderful story.

  • At 8:53 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    I too had that moment...when I decided that enough was enough. My life changed and I was reborn!! Got a tattoo of a butterfly (very small and hidden) for my new life. Only difference was I had 2 children to "take with me". But all worked out and now I have 3 children. I'm so glad it worked out for you as well. It totally changes everything about you, doesn't it? %

  • At 10:10 AM, Blogger Woozie said…

    I'm embracing my inner redneck this weekend. County Fair, followed up with a demolition derby and trailer racing!

  • At 11:59 AM, Blogger Margaret said…

    Alex: The photo blew my mind too. I used to be afraid of heights among many other things. Freedom from fear is so awesome. Granted, I don't like Snakes on a Plane but not because I fear them. It's a common sense intelligent kind of reaction and emotion to know that poisonous snakes are Mofo's. Fear only the sure things. Don't fear the unknown.

    Dr. John: Amen! I also realized it isn't enough to "find" it, you gotta believe it and live like you believe it.

    Anon: I haven't got a tat yet, but the idea intrigues me. I'm thinking of something along the lines of helium filled birthday balloons, small and in a discrete place. (I'll share why in a month or so.) I now have 1 Man and a child to "take with me" and although they can be heavy at times - as long as they are walking towards where I'm walking the journey is light. I'm surely not getting there any faster because I have to stop more often for potty breaks and because Gon or Kate need to pick flowers or something. We're running late - but we're getting there surely. That's what makes a great difference.

    Woozie: You go Dude! I hope you find as much excitement at the County Fair as Butchieboy did in Indiana. (Watch out for them big-sacked 4-H Pigs). Trailer racing!! I'm jealous now. Caught a cool race up in Lancaster, PA and it was awesome. Here, we have a cool drag strip and mud-bogging is always fun. Swimmin' and canoeing down the Ogeechee River... oh hell no! Gators and snakes dude. Snakes that jump out of the trees at you and hundreds of them. It's like that Anaconda movie without the black man to keep us awake.

    I think we may go on down to the drag strip later tonight. I miss the smell of burning rubber.

  • At 1:52 PM, Anonymous robin said…

    Your rant is just as good, if not better, than mine. :)

    I am SO glad that His will was for you to continue reminds me of the story in Ezekial about the baby found in the field..well, at least up until the baby becomes a whore. :)

  • At 12:15 PM, Blogger Lisa said…

    WOW, girl! That took a lot of courage to do. It's not everyone who can pull it up from deep within themselves and turn it out.

    I honor your ability to do that. And thank you for sharing.

  • At 4:56 AM, Blogger ela zawrat said…

    Oh, that's such a chilling and at the same time uplifting story. I imagine that the bus somehow changed direction, or the impact dissolved, or… whatever happened, you are here - good to have you here, Margaret.

  • At 8:04 PM, Blogger Maggie said…

    Hi Margaret;
    I'm Maggie, just new here and I've felt the same. I never would commit suicide, I lost the love of my life that way, and the people he left behind will never be the same. BUT, I have stopped eating and drinking water, juice, everything and just lay in bed so depressed I thought I'd just waste away. After 4 days, and alot of thinking, my parents, (both deceased), came to mind and they were both souch brave, strong people, I got up and vowed to get out of the depression and instead, deal with the people who ripped my family apart. It's the system I am fighting and it's tough, but I have enough proof that they operated in a corrupt way that a lawyer said- go get em, Maggie!

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