Sunday, April 30, 2006
Chump Change
It's been brought to my attention that the advertisers within my blog annoy some readers. Do they really now?

My first thought when approached with the notion of making money from blogging was a big solid yiping YIKES! For starters I would only do it if I could control it's content and the advertisers themselves. I know how annoyed I get with those dreaded "pop-up-ads" and those mind-boggling floating side ads that Geocities is so fond of. While mouse-potato'ing through different blogs the other evening I had grief over quite a few that locked up my browser or wouldn't let me out. Here at "Do you have Issues?" I promise not to make my readers put up with anything I couldn't stand myself.

Linkshare is a great affiliate program and does allow you to choose your advertisers. I dread real shopping and malls. The crowds, the temptations and the people who can't get out of your way - that's annoying. Whenever possible if I can shop online and have that handsome UPS man bring me stuff, I'm all over that. I'm lazy. Now if only Kroger would bring me some groceries I'd have it made. No luck though, as I gotta go there here shortly as we're running low on milk.

The advertisers you'll see here are the same ones I have had experience with and gave over the "bling-bling". Amazingly, allowing them to have a bit of blank space here brings me in some "bling-bling" as well. Nothing major for certain but it's that little chump change that encourages irresponsible spending.

There's nothing worse than filling your gas-tank these past few weeks. It's pretty darn bad when you shake the nozzle just in case there is a measly little drip or two left in there. Even worse when it cost $40 and you get to thinking, "I worked 2 full hours dealing with nutters at my job just to fill my gas tank so I can go to work again next week." Discouraging.

Chump Change eases the pain at the gas-pump. It pays for the Milk, the diapers, the eggs, the bread and all that stuff I complain about buying. So please, pardon my meek attempts at the "bling-bling" - I'll keep 'em inconspicuous. But if you're tempted by them... by all means go for it!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 5:46 PM   1 comments
Internet Haters
I just don't get this subculture of "Haters" from clubs, listservs or message boards. Yeah I know, this blog is titled "Do You Have Issues?" and my listserve "Discordant Collywobbles" can be simply defined as inharmonious belly-achers - so I haven't much sense to grumble. Except for the fact I believe complaints can be resolved or at the very least we can be directed to aisle 3 for a wide variety of anti-acids to choose from.

When I was a kid, everything was about why you liked something. You were obsessed with it and you couldn't wait to get more of it. Now we have people who want to get together and complain about a thing or tell us why it's wrong... over and over and over again. I don't get it. If you don't like something or someone why even waste two seconds talking about it?

Particularly over the internet, people have a sense of anonymity online and are often totally spineless. It's one thing to hate something, a culture or a political view - but it's a whole other thing to hate the person, particularly if a person never did anything to harm you personally.

Neither am I insisting upon Political Correctness, if I were to hate anything at all - it's this entire PC notion we've been subjected to. Take Christianity for example, I'm a Christian but once someone hears me say that they jump over the sofa and cover themselves as if I'm going to hurl lightning bolts at them. Other's immediately put me on their blacklist-of-hate even though I never ever did anything to harm them.

Granted we have some Nutters in the Christian culture, just as we have fanaticals in other religious groups. The same could be said for other cultures such as homosexuals, Goths, the drug scene, Ravers and Hippies. No matter what your "shared love, interest or culture may be, there is guaranteed to be a few wackos in the group who bring negative attention.

Recently this past week over the internet, I witnessed a number of people raging against 'alcoholics' as if this was a condition that a person would choose to be. Now I'm not defending alcoholics because I am one, but because I know many who battle this disease. Yes, it IS a disease and it's not something you can get or catch by simply going on a drinking binge or tossing down a few shots.

I won't go all out in a definition of alcoholism, but to these internet haters - Google it, find it, get a clue already. Better yet, let go of your mouse for an hour and go to a local AA meeting. You'll be surprised to find - the club members are PEOPLE! From Rabbi's, single mothers to business men. You may even find "one of your own" or a family member there sipping coffee and enjoying an evil addictive Krispy Kreme.

Quit kicking the dog when he's only happy to see you come home. Todays Issue: UNRESOLVED
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:31 AM   3 comments
Saturday, April 29, 2006
Etour & Travel be Forwarned SCAMMERS!
I learned some time ago the art of blogging and search engines give us consumers a bit of power in the free market. Whether you blog about a wonderful restaurant review or a delightful new friendly store in your neighborhood. If you blog about it, they will notice and so will others.

Every once in awhile, you may come across a bunch of fraudulent, rude pricks. It is our duty to warn others about such nonsense and put out a buyer beware, a major complaint and do a massive bitch out over a company that seeks to rip people off.

So please forgive me at this moment while I do just that. Excuse my language as I will most certainly admit - I am very emotional over this matter right now. This isn't like me - for those who know me I am optimistic, fun, forgiving and will more than likely cry over a matter than throw a brick through a window. Except this time.

If you ever call and make hotel reservations or vacation planning to Florida you may receive a telemarketing call from this place called "eTour & Travel". They do this sort of thing sometimes when you make reservations and put yourself in some sort of database that you are a traveler. However, if you ever get a call, an email or a snail mail from "eTour & Travel" - trust me, report them as Spam - toss out the entire envelope mailed to you or demand that they remove you from their calling list.

They are nothing but frauds and I've been burnt by them terribly. Our bank account drained by unauthorized withdrawals and they are evil, dishonest scammers. If "eTour & Travel" or any other marketer calls - it would be wise to first Google their company name and take a look see if there are any complaints or posts such as this out there before doing business with them.

Live and learn, I suppose.

Thankfully, together with my banking institution I received restitution yesterday afternoon. It's not over by a long shot, for they are now facing criminal charges filed with the Attorney General of Florida. It seemed I'm not the only bank customer who was sucked into this ordeal.

This blog post is in hopes nobody else gets in "eTour & Travel's" greedy, dishonest and slimy hands.

Thanks for bearing with me..
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:23 PM  
Thursday, April 27, 2006
The Google Adsense Gorpus
I can't help but to be afraid, very afraid; of the "Google Adsense Gorpus" and it's artificial intelligence.

Take the Google Ad on the bottom right hand side of this page for example. Somehow in someway it crawls my blog searching for subjects that match a particular advertiser.

Today it advertises "Lose 20lbs in 3 weeks" Where did that come from? Does baking a cake tell the "Google Gorpus" that perhaps, this Blogger and her readers, need to go on a diet?

If so, I'm highly offended! 20lbs?! Did you ever see 20lbs? Imagine going to Walmart, looking under someones cart and spotting a big red bag of "Old Roy" Gravy Gibbles. Now that's 20lbs and quite a mass.

<looking at myself naked on the webcam> Hmmm, I can see a bag of Fritos on my hips and that evil bag of Chocolate Chip Ahoys hanging out over in my middle. But I don't see a bag of "Old Roy" Gravy Gibbles anywhere.

Tonight, I believe I have issues with the "Google Gorpus" for suggesting that I'm fat! How rude is that?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:27 PM   2 comments
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
To Kill a Mockingbird
Birds hardly ever sing at night and for many reasons. One; it's bedtime and two; it's dangerous to make your whereabouts known at night, especially when there are prowling killer kittys in your neck of the woods.

However, that wasn't the case outside of my bedroom window at.. oh let's say about 1am this morning! There is a mutant overgrown red-tip bush growing there that houses three nesting bird families. One family is The Cardinals and they have lived here for about 3 years, returning every spring. A quiet couple if I say so myself, the Mister is studious and picky as he chooses the best seeds from my feeder.

Then there are two Mockingbird families. There went the neighborhood or in this case, the Bush Apartment. Last year there was only one Mockingbird family that had themselves a baby chick that mewed like a kitten non-stop for weeks on end. If I wasn't such a nature lover I would have went DDT on their butts. My poor husband couldn't mow the lawn near the red-tip bush without getting dive-bombed by the overprotective Mockingbird parents.

This year, I believe that same baby - now all grown up, decided to move in and rent a branch in the Bush Apartment next door to his parents. (typical kid) For at 1am he sang his little heart out for about 2 hours like the happiest bird on the face of the earth. Who is to know why, maybe he got himself some?

What I do know, was that I hadn't "got any" last night - SLEEP that is!!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:18 PM   0 comments
Nordic-Ware 60th Anniversary Recipe Contest

I don't know what y'all have in your oven at the moment but looky at what I just pulled out of mine!

Nordic-Ware is having a Recipe Contest starting on May 1st, 2006 to commemorate their 60th Anniversary of the infamous Bundt pan. Entries will be judged on originality, taste, texture, visual appearance and how closely their recipe reflects their state and captures the essence of the notorious Bundt cake.

Since I live in Savannah, Georgia - the "Peach"
is so overrated. (Jersey Peaches are so much better!) Poor Nordic-Ware will
be bombarded with "Peachy Bundts" from Georgia to no avail. Pecan's are also an option, but who ever heard of a crunchy bundt cake?

"How about trying a Watermelon recipe", I thought. So off to the Kroger's (and the liquor store) I went to get my needed supplies:

  • I took a box of Pillsbury Strawberry Cake Mix
  • added 3 eggs
  • 1/3 cup of oil
  • 1 1/4 cup of Dekuyper's Watermelon Schnapps instead of the called for 1 cup of water.
  • 1 tsp of red food dye (to make the red even brighter and not pink)
  • Folded in 1 cup of Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chips.
  • Baked in the bundt for 40 minues.

For a Glaze I took 2/3 cups of confectioners sugar moistened with 3 TBS
of Dekuyper's Watermelon Schnapps and drizzled it all over the cake.

The batter tasted really good! I licked the bowl and beaters clean, but
I think I may be a little wee bit tipsy at this moment.

As for the cake, the crazy-headed thing fell apart on me. It tastes fantastic - but it sure isn't going to get any rave reviews from those Nordic-Ware people. -Mix

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:00 AM   1 comments
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Face Up Blahg

If you ever need a laugh or a comical blog to help you kick start your day - or end it on a good note, for that matter...

Check out "Blahg by Dar"!!

Move over Marmaduke, here are some simple one-framed cartoons that will make you chuckle.

I LOVE this guy's work!!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:07 PM   0 comments
Saturday, April 22, 2006
How I faced down a Hippy Wanker

Before I begin I'd like to make it clear that in my humble opinion
there are two kinds of hippies; you've got the beatific benign
peaceful individuals who innocently search for a better world
. I'm
all for them. But then there's the skanky mean disagreeable kind.
The elitist hipper-than-thou lesser hippy or hippy wanker. One
example of the latter species would be the long-haired cock-knocker I caught trying to steal my studded leather belt at a Hanoi Rocks concert. Another example will follow shortly..

So there I was, walking down the street in the early evening.
Minding my own business, as ever. I was approaching a bus-stop so I slowed down and calmly negotiated my way around the people standing there. Looking down I subliminally registered a group of school- kids, a couple, and some older people.

"Ere, White-Man" someone shouted. I looked up, this skinny white,
streak of piss, Captain Beaky-nosed, mature student type was leering directly at me.

"You're losing your hair White-Man" he whined.

I gave him a look that said: "Jesus, are you a nutter?"
He was, after all, standing outside a school that predominately
serves black students, at a bus-stop where he was surrounded by
black people. It seemed a strange place to launch a Nazi recruitment

I was content to ignore him however, there is no immediate maniac
shortage here in sunny South London. Why, just the other night
between 10:40pm and 6:16am the following morning I counted 13 sirens
and two police helicopter pursuits. Criminal types notwithstanding,
a lot of methadone clinics and mental health facilities are situated
in Camberwell and we can't cure `em all.

"White-Man, move with the times." He rapped.

I realised then, as I walked past him, that he wasn't on a racist
tip, he was referring to Robert Crumb's famous White-Man character.
The archetypal 50's straight blue-collar American desperately
repressing his savage desires. That pissed me off, I've been a fan
of Robert Crumb since I was 14, what did this sub-elemental harpoon-
nosed gonk have to tell me about Crumb's work that I haven't already
learned from long years of diligent study at the feet of the master.
I stopped, turned around and walked back to the hippy / mature
student type.

"You're moving too fast, White-Man." He free-styled, but quieter
now. More cautious.

"Have you got a cigarette?" I asked.
He shook his head meekly.

"Have you got a roll-up?" I asked.

"I wouldn't give you anything." He said, recovering slightly.

"Right," I said, "so you're not my friend, that means you can't talk
to me that way. What the fuck have I done to you that you should
insult me

"You're too white White-Man," he grooved, "your giving off White-Man

He had a macrame shoulder-bag with a laptop shaped bump in it. I
really felt that he owed me something. His big Jackdaw shnozzle was
pointed directly at me. He looked exactly like the kind of wretched
front-line hard-core political activist whose entire skanky raison
d'tre is to have a better MP3 player than you.

"Listen," I said, "I'm not a racist, but I am a white man. What are
?" That stumped him.

"What are you?" I said, I was getting angrier.

"Don't give me your problems." He whinged, clutching hold of his bag
and skiving swiftly away. He was hot-footing it off to another stop
or hiding around the corner where I couldn't see him. I turned around again, there was a middle-aged black lady standing by the bus-stop, she was looking at me. I said "wanker" by way of explanation. She nodded and we shared a smile as I went on my way.

Ah well, nine times out of ten I'd have ignored something like that
and let the pain of the slight fester away in me for hours
afterwards. But, every now and then, it's good to give a little
something back to a bully. These damn cosmic soul vampires who cannot take pride in themselves.

T. Mandrake

(Visit Tarquin Mandrakes Site for more of his incredible writings and artwork!)

Click here to join Zombies March On
Click to join "Zombies March On"
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:18 AM   0 comments
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Moms Who Blog Contest

The Current Contest is limited to "Mom's Who Blog" in honor of Mother's Day. If you're a Mom and you have a blog - this one's for you!

To Enter the contest email me at and tell me about your blogging experiences. Be sure to include the web address to your Blog.

Of course, if you know a "Mom Who Blogs"feel free to enter her into the contest!

Contest ends: "Mother's Day; Sunday - May 14, 2006"

Winners will be given a "Mix Pix Award Button" to display on their site and recognition here at "Do You Have Issues".

Amateur Bloggers MORE than welcome to enter!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:29 PM   2 comments
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Beware of the Were Rabbit!
I thought I've seen it all, until reading an international news story this morning concerning Robbins Island off the coast of South Africa. Someone or something is disrupting the delicate balance of nature and killing the rare birds' - the "Black Oyster Catcher" and "African Penquins."

Who is the culprit? Who is to blame? The suspects range from feral cats, snakes, GIANT mice and of all things "Flesh Eating Rabbits!"

Move over "Wallace and Gromit", the claims follow reports last week that "stunned" vegetable growers in Northumberland had drafted in armed guards to protect their allotments from a gigantic rabbit.

The main clues to the culprit were said to be oversized pawprints and sightings of a cross between a hare and a rabbit with one ear larger than the other. "This is no ordinary rabbit. We are dealing with a monster," Jeff Smith, 63, said."I have seen its prints and they are huge, bigger than a deer. It is a brute of a thing.''

Rabbit Stew anyone?!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:13 AM   0 comments
Sunday, April 16, 2006
Punching Balloons are so much Fun!!

Video of Katie on Easter Morning, discovering an "egg in her basket. Later that morning - another video of Katie's first experience with a Punching Balloon. Until it later popped!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:04 PM   0 comments
Wednesday, April 12, 2006
Computer Issues: "Help me locate my drive!!"

I have run across the term 'cyber sex' a few times lately, so I decided to try to figure out what it meant. I figured it had something to do with the computer, so I started trying to find the 'sex drive' on mine. I looked everywhere, in all the folders on the My Computer section, the add/uninstall software, install hardware part of the control panel... then I got out all the manuals and went through them.

I finally came to the conclusion that my computer is not equipped with one so I decided to go to the computer store and see if I could buy one.

Well, the salesperson in the first store was a rather stern looking woman, I gave her the make and model of my computer and asked her if she had any ' sex drives' in stock. She kind of scowled at me and asked me if I was trying to get smart with her. I replied that I tried to be smart with everyone and she said, rather rudely I thought; that she couldn't help me and walked away.

In the second store, I gave the salesperson the make and model of my computer and asked if they had any 'sex drives' in stock... He kind of snickered and asked if I meant a 'hard drive,' I thought about it for a minute and told him, "Yeah, maybe that, but I think I should already have one installed..." He started laughing at me said something about me trying to kill him... "You're killing me!" Or something like that, and walked away. Hmmmm, must be out of stock here too. Must be hard to keep in stock. I wasn't trying to kill him... I wasn't even hurting him.

The guy in the third store laughed and asked me if I'd just fallen off the turnip truck... I assured him I'd never been on a turnip truck, but I'd fallen off the manure wagon a few times. He mumbled something about that explaining it. "She's fallen off the wagon, that explains it!" and walked away laughing.

The guy in the fourth store said something like, "BOOB," under his breath and walked away... I wonder why he only noticed one? Anyway I figured they must not carry them in stores. Maybe you have to order from a catalog or get on the Internet and search for one?

So that's where I am now... If any of you have some computer skills and could help me locate my 'sex drive,' I would appreciate it. Then all I'd have to do is figure out what to do with it.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:39 PM   1 comments
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
What Happened to the King's English?

Remember when "hippie" meant big in the hips -
And a "trip" involved travel in cars, planes and ships?
A "Pot" was a vessel that we cooked things in,
And "hooked" was what Granny's rug may have been.

When "neat" meant well-organized, tidy and clean,
And "grass" was a ground cover, usually green.
When "lights", not people; were turned on and off,
And the "pill" was something you took for a cough?

When "fuzz" was a substance - fluffy like lint,
And "bread" came from bakeries not from the mint.
When "square" meant a 90-degree angle form,
And "cool" was a temperature not quite so warm.

When a "roll" was a bun and a "rock" was a stone,
And a "hang-up" was something you did with your phone.
When "chicken" meant poultry and "bag" was a sack,
And "junk" trashy cast-offs and old bric-a-brac.

When "swinger" was someone who swung on a swing,
And a "pad" was a soft sorta cushiony thing.
To "dig" meant to shovel and spade in the dirt.
And a "put on" was something you would do with a shirt.

Words once so sensible, sober and serious -
Are now making the freak scene like phycho delirious.
It's Groovy, man, Groovy. But English it's not -
The King thinks that his language has gone straight to the pot!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:17 PM   1 comments
Monday, April 10, 2006
"Overcoming the Battle of the Sexes" by Sister Robin Christian
A wonderful friend and young woman in Christ, Sister Robin Christian has just published this encouraging and helpful book. A fabulous gift for the Bride-to-be, for a friend suffering through a rocky marriage or perhaps yourself.

Sister Robin offers sound and enlightening Biblical advice and answers to many of the pressing issues that today's woman may face within her marriage.

As founder and creater of the A.M.E.N. website, Sister Robin reaches out over the net to encourage, uplift and support women all over the world.

She has been a wonderful inspiration to me. She truly walks in the Lord's Love and reflects the character of the "Proverbs 31" woman.

This book is a nightstand must have and the perfect manual to for a "well oiled" marriage.

(Added 4/26: Also available on Ebay in PDF format for only $5!!)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:28 PM   0 comments
Sunday, April 02, 2006
God's Cake

Sometimes we wonder, "What did I do to deserve this?" or "Why did God have to do this to me?" Here is a wonderful explanation:

A daughter is telling her Mother how everything is going wrong, she's failing algebra, her boyfriend broke up with her and her best friend is moving away.

Meanwhile, her Mother is baking a cake and asks her daughter if she would like a snack, and the daughter says, "Absolutely Mom, I love your cake"

"Here, have some cooking oil," her Mother offers.

"Yuck" says her daughter.

"How about a couple of raw eggs?"

"Gross, Mom!"

"Would you like some flour then? Or maybe baking soda?"

"Mom, those are all yucky!"

To which the mother replies: "Yes, all those things seem bad all by themselves. But when they are put together in the right way , they make a wonderfully delicious cake!

God works the same way. Many times we wonder why He would let us go through such bad and difficult times. But God knows that when He puts these things all in His order, they always work for good! We just have to trust Him and, eventually, they will all make something wonderful!

God is crazy about you. He sends you flowers every spring and a sunrise every morning.
Whenever you want to talk, He'll listen. He can live anywhere in the universe, and He chose your heart.

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:12 PM   2 comments

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