Friday, June 29, 2007
Welcome to My Trailer Park: "Fireworks"
Despite the dry and drought conditions, fireworks can be found at almost every grocery corner or roadside stand in preparation for the Fourth of July.

I think I'll stop and get some fire insurance and on the way back pick up a dozen Roman Candles for this Wednesday's festivities.


(Thanks to Georgia Peach for the YouTube heads up.)

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:18 AM   3 comments
Friday's Feast
Appetizer
How many pieces of jewelry do you wear most days?

Two; my wedding ring and necklace. Although I have pierced ears I really need to get a pair of decent sleepers again. I'm allergic to many others and my nicer earrings I'm afraid to wear unless it is a special occasion, because I may loose them.

Soup
What is your favorite instrumental song?

It's not totally instrumental, but I love "It's a Wonderful World" when Kenny G. dubbed in with Louie Armstrong. Other than that, the "Star Wars Theme Song" brings back memories. "Sting of the Bumblebee" by Manowar is titillating and anything by Gary Hoey is truly incredible.

Salad
Who has a last name that you like?

My husband, that's the only reason I married him. Just joking, but it did come in play because it's such a cool name. Plus, not many names have a "Q" smack dab in the middle of it.

Main Course
Name a popular movie you’ve never seen.

"Star Wars" (Y'all can stop laughing at me now.)

Dessert
Fill in the blank: Nothing makes me ___________ like ____________.

Nothing makes me want to cheat on my diet like driving by Krispy Kreme and seeing the Hot Now sign lit up.


Happy Friday.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:32 AM   7 comments
Thursday, June 28, 2007
The New Paris
Paris Hilton told CNN's Larry King she would never again drink and drive and that her time in jail was a time-out in life. "I'm frankly sick of it," Hilton said, with loose, re-blonded locks and camera-ready makeup. "I've been going out for a long time now. Yeah, it's fun, but it's not going to be the mainstay of my life anymore."

I know a lot of people believe this is just a public relations ploy. They think that Paris isn't going to change and she'll be out clubbin' with the spoiled brat pack by next weekend. However, I don't think so.

There just comes a time in life when we all take a step back and decide to settle down a bit. Usually this happens around the age that Paris is now. The club scene changes, the music changes as the younger crowds pour in with new styles and ways. You start to feel old and out of place, and fake if you even try to fit in. Your friends go off and marry, have kids and hold dinner parties instead.

I didn't start settling down until I turned 30. My 30th birthday was a difficult one for me but I knew there were a lot of changes that needed to be made in my life. I turned everything upside down, and now - almost 10 years later so many things have changed for the better.

Yet, there still are many things that need to be changed. Life is like that I suppose, you live and you learn.

Who's to say really, which direction Paris will head off to next. Will she be featured in next month's Playboy or in Good Housekeeping magazine? Maybe she'll fall somewhere in between and do good for herself. I hope so.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:50 AM   7 comments
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Toothache

Well what do you know? My internet is actually working today but I won't have time to enjoy it. Nope, toothaches have minds of their own and this particular tooth is psycho this morning. I'm heading off to the dentist for an emergency visit and I'm at that point, I don't care what he does.

For the first time in my life I am wanting a needle. Yeppers, give me a dozen of those big needles chock full of Novocaine and shoot me up. I don't care if I slobber, I don't care if I drool like a Basset Hound - I need it now.

In fact, I need it so bad I don't care if my appointment is an hour away. I'm leaving right now. Maybe by some stroke of luck, someone will cancel and not show up and I can get the relief that I need. I'll be back later and then....

...wanna bet my internet is down again?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:28 AM   5 comments
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Comcast Sucks. Monday Sucks.
I'm griping today. First of all Comcast sucks and I hate them. High speed internet my foot. Pluto can travel around the sun faster than I can bring up a simple webpage. There isn't any use calling them other than for them to take note that I had called so I can rightly complain when I get my bill for the month to demand a refund.

It's not my computer. They've come out and rewired my entire home. They treat me as if I'm the stupid one when there is an obvious packet loss going on at their servers that is effecting my bandwidth. It seems to slow down for most of the day and then pick up speed as the evening progresses. It's past 10pm now and Comcast still sucks.

It's been a long hard day and I tried to sneak in for a bit of nap this afternoon. Only to wake up with what I thought was Squirt touching my face. She was painting me! Yes, green acrylic paint all over my nose, ear and in my hair. Amazingly she didn't get any paint on anything else but me. What possessed her to do such a thing is beyond me, but I suppose she's not old enough for me to trust enough to take a short nap quite yet.

If that wasn't crazy enough for you, after dinner she was doing some sort of imaginary play type of thing. I don't question her half the time anymore, she's got such a wild imagination anything could be possible. Tonight, for some odd reason she had tied the dogs leashes to the freezer and fridge handles. Without the dogs - so I had thought - until there was a knock on my door.

Pee Wee went wildly running to the door as she usually does when someone comes knocking. As she did, the freezer door at the other end of the leash flew open and a pack of four frozen Bubba Burgers that were in the inside of the door flew out and conked me on the head.

It hurt. It hurt so bad that I needed to pass out but didn't... in fear that I'd wake up painted some other odd color again.

Oh Friday, why do you have to be so far away?

Oh Comcast, why do you have to suck so badly?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:41 AM   4 comments
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Donkey Kong? Dong? Schlong?
From the wonderful makers of that Slip 'n Slide that killed the grass on our front lawn - comes another fine inflatable product for our kids to play with.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:49 PM   5 comments
Friday, June 22, 2007
Friday's Feast
Appetizer
Name a funny habit you have.

Unfortunately none of my habits are funny, except maybe the fact that I still sleep with my childhood teddy bear. Not for the same reasons like security or there is a thunderstorm outside, but for comfort. I don't know where to rest my arm without him.

Soup
If you could instantly know how to play a musical instrument, which one would you pick?

I already can play a variety of instruments. A 12 String guitar would be challenging.

Salad
How long is your hair?

Long enough to put up in a ponytail. A must for the summertime.

Main Course
When was the last time you forgave someone, and who was it?

Two weeks ago, my neighbor borrowed $20 and hadn't given it back yet. Still hasn't, but it's cool. I know when the day comes and I need it, he'd help me out.

Dessert
What is your favorite kitchen appliance?

It has to be the crockpot. The fix it and forget it ease and simplicity works each and every time. Plus, it doesn't heat up my whole kitchen.




Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:10 AM   22 comments
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Death by a Slip 'n Slide
Dear Bestway,

I purchased a Water Slide (Slip 'n Slide) from our local market for our 4 year old daughter to play with. It works fine. Is made decently and does everything it is supposed to do. Providing hours of fun as promised.

The reason I am writing is because I now have a 20' long strip of dead grass!

I can see that happening if I had left it down for a whole entire day or two, but we only had it out for about 2 hours between 3-5pm. We rolled it up to put it away for the day just before dinner. When we did it was immediately noticed that the grass was wilty and smashed down. At that time we just figured this was temporary due to all the slipping and sliding going on.

When I awoke the next morning the entire strip was yellow/brown. As if someone sprayed Round-up Weed/Grass killer on that area. Today, a week later some of the grass is starting to grow back in but it still looks really silly.

Perhaps there is a chemical that must be washed and scrubbed off first before using this product? Or will this happen again if I lay it back down on another area? Please let me know because I can't take any more chances of this happening again.

See, a big dead strip of grass on your lawn really taunts a husband and his ego. All the men and husbands along this street have some sort of unspoken Tim Allen type of competition going on when it comes to their lawns. They brag to one another over every minor detail from who has the latest and greatest lawn mower to the biggest and baddest BBQ grill.

Now my husband is too embarrassed to leave the house or be seen. He sneaks off to work in the early hours before anyone else on the block gets up. Of course, as you know this is all MY fault because I bought the thing. Let alone decided to put it right smack dab in the middle of our plush green front lawn. Now the whole neighborhood can see it as it stands out like a bad wax job on a hairy man's back.

We're the laughing stock of the whole neighborhood. The mental anguish is excruciating. Please reply soon and let me know how to avoid this side effect or if I should throw this thing in the trash.

Thank you.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:50 AM   8 comments
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Rosie Ain't Right Meme
Rumor has it that Rosie O'Donnell wants to be Bob Barker's replacement host on "The Price is Right." Does she have what it takes?


Now here is how this meme goes down.

1) Watch this little YouTube Clip with Bob Barker
2) Note the unsolvable situation the host was in.
3) Note how Bob Barker reacted
4) Then post how you think Rosie would have reacted.
5) Tag at least two people.

***************


Rosie's Response:

"Will he flip? Will he flop? Or will he.....fuck up!!!

Oh schmack, I can't believe he just did that folks. He totally screwed up. Look at him, by golly. He just smacked that big red button like it was nuttin'.

Never elect this guy as president, I'm telling 'ya. He's Big Red Button crazy - he is.

Where do my producers find these people.

Get your cheating butt of my stage you idiot and go audition for "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader" over there in Studio B.

Oh and by the way... don't forget to spay or neuter all stupid college kids who do shit like this.

I'm going home."


***************
I tag Snarkypants because she needs some celebrity craziness to work with. And I tag... hmmm, let's see... Jayne because I know she'll have fun with this one. Of course if anyone else wants a tag go for it and let me know.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:21 PM   2 comments
Coffee, Tea or Bong Water?
My efforts to quit smoking are doing fairly well. I may had mentioned last week that Cold Turkey wasn't working out. See, my husband was supposed to quit smoking with me but with college finals and a very important business trip ahead - he found some excuses not to quit smoking just yet. Him puffing away near me is just terrible tempting. I want to kick him for it.

I'm still doing fantastic, considering I was a 2 pack a day smoker. I limit and set aside only 5 smokes per day. There were some days when I smoked all five and other days when I only smoked three. Next week I'm going to limit myself to four. After that, it will get a bit harder.

See there are certain times in the day that seem to require a smoke. After eating and after work are the most tempting. The hardest is that first morning smoke with coffee. To help out, I have been waiting until I have ate breakfast and poured a 2nd cup before I allow myself a smoke.

But they seem to come up with everything imaginable these days:

If coffee and smoke go hand in hand, this should be the perfect cure to kick my morning cravings. Of course the Cigarettea is not made out of tobacco but tea. 20 little teabags shaped like cigarettes. You just pull one out of a pack and drop it in a mug of hot water.

Hallalujah, this could work! Now I'm not saying I won't accidentally smoke the teabag considering how disoriented I usually am when waking in the morning. However a floating cigarette butt in my morning mug may just gross me out enough to stave off the morning cravings.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:18 AM   9 comments
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
WTF is a WTF?
WTF (What the fuck) is a WTF do you ask? According to Scott Larson our mild mannered city reporter and bloggy buddy, a WTF is a cell tower or rather the three letter acronym for a "Wireless Telecommunications Facility."

Now Cell Towers are loathsome eyesores that dot our gorgeous landscape but they are a must have technology to keep up with our demands for cellular phone quality. Of course, nobody wants to wake up one morning, pull open their blinds and look out their picture windows to see a WTF towering across the street from them.

So the city of Savannah has been discussing an ordinance with developers to erect environmentally friendly, concealed and camouflaged WTF's throughout our beautiful city.

I wouldn't consider a mutant, 200 foot high - Palm Tree inconspicuous. Environmentally friendly, I doubt it. I'm sure our native birds would die laughing as they say to one another, "WTF is up with that Jack and the beanstalk looking thing?"

Our tourists who often come to Savannah to see our magnificent Giant Oaks, Sugar Magnolias and to find out for themselves how tall is a Georgia Pine really is - will be flabbergasted while driving into town.

Oh well, WTF does it matter anyway - at least their cell phones will work.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:59 PM   4 comments
Monday, June 18, 2007
To My Heavenly Father
My Mom brought me to You when I was just 2 months old. Partly due to ritual and sacrament, but most importantly to dedicate herself to a promise. A promise to raise me to know You, to trust You and to love You. I'm here to witness that Mom did well and kept her commitment despite the obstacles and challenges before her.

Only You, Lord - know the heart of my Dad. Only You, may judge him. I confess that I do not have the strength to forgive him nor the faith to trust in him ever again. Please forgive me and please take this heavy heartache and dishonor that I have carried in my heart for 39 years. I no longer wish to carry it.

Instead, I am thankful in part for all I had endured. Maybe my blog readers will laugh at me, maybe they won't - but to have been a lonely, abused, hurt and confused child did have it's privileges. I didn't have an imaginary friend as a kid, I had You.

I used to pretend that You were there, sitting upon my bed as I shared my news of the day. We would sing and color together. You would push me on the swing set and comfort me when I skinned my little knees. It was You that held the back of my bike seat after we managed to take off the training wheels all by ourselves.

Later as a teen, I didn't forget You. Sure, there were many times when I made You stay home and not go with me when I went to hang out with my friends or planned to get into mischief. You were sad, but You never stopped me. You always waited patiently for me to come home and eventually got me to confess and be honest about my behaviors.

Then there were times that I was embarrassed by You, Father. It's not that You were corny, wore funny clothes or embarrassed me in front of my friends. It was because to a handful of my friends, You were invisible back then as You are today, and many have laughed or jeered at me for my faith and beliefs.

I don't mind anymore and I love to let You ride shotgun on my daily errands and go abouts. To guide me, to listen to me and to have your presence even during long moments of solemn silence. I know that You are always there. You live and You live forever!

Often I'm reminded of the 8 year old little girl Virginia O'Hanlon who wrote to the editor of the New York Times to find out the truth. Is there really a Santa Clause? In part:

"...You may tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, VIRGINIA, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding..."

Your Bible says in Matthew 18:4,5 "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never get into the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself as this little child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven, and whoever receives a little child like this in my name receives me."

On this Father's Day I would like to thank You, my heavenly father. Despite all I had to endure and go through, today I am able and do know the love of a Perfect Father.

Thank you.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 7:33 PM   2 comments
To the Father of My Little Girl
I don't remember very much about the day our daughter was born. The delivery and complications that followed resulted in a healthy baby girl but a very ill Mommy who needed to stay in the hospital for a few more weeks. I do remember giggling with the nurses when you came to visit bringing Squirt along. You put her outfit on backwards, not just once but twice. That was okay, for Squirt didn't seem to mind one bit that her Daddy was lacking in the Girlie Style Department.


I do remember an evening when I was still hospitalized but feeling much better. I went outside to enjoy some fresh air and to meet the both of you when you arrived. It was the day that you were going out to buy a new stroller and I couldn't wait to see the both of you. But you didn't park in your usual area and came around to the hospital entrance over on the side. You didn't see me, but I saw the both of you. A picture perfect memory of a proud Daddy, walking his infant daughter with his head held so high. I'll never forget it.

I would have given anything to be able to come home right away after Squirts birth, but looking back now - I'm glad that I didn't. The two of you formed a tight bond together during that time that is priceless and precious. Your patience, love and compassion for your daughter were unlike anything I've ever known.

Today she is four, but she knows more about computers than many 30 year olds do. She knows the joy of stomping in puddles and has the confidence of a strong little woman. I saw that tear that you quickly whisked away when she sang you the ABC's perfectly last week. Today I saw you cringe yet stifle a giggle at the same time - when she told that poor, sick, old man in the midst of a coughing attack that he had a hairball.

Your heart seemed broken when we took her to Vacation Bible School this morning and she quickly rushed to be with all of the kids, quickly forgetting all about us. I also know that you cannot wait until you get home tonight to hear her tell you all about her happy day.

Squirt is surely "Daddy's Little Girl" and she always will be. Not only did I find and choose the perfect man to marry - you turned out to be the perfect Daddy also. A man that Squirt will always love, admire and look up to. Who she can measure other men in her life against and never go wrong.

Happy Father's Day Sweetheart.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:27 AM   4 comments
Sunday, June 17, 2007
To the First Father I Have Known
The last time I gave you a "Father's Day" card, you ripped it up in front of me and called me a liar. That was well over 20 years ago and I knew then, what you knew - You were right. Every Father's Day card on the rack were filled with good things, words and phrases to say. So any one of them signed by me and given to an asshole like you - would make me a liar. I vowed to never, ever give you another gift or card for as long as I lived, and I'm keeping that vow even today.

Not long after that you were beating me around for something so minor, I cannot remember it. As in many times before that, the reasons were non-existent or just plain stupid that no lesson was learned or paths redirected. The corrections were unfruitful and quite senseless. It was during this beating - after the initial fear, pain and anger when I decided to speak for the first time ever.

"I'm sorry," I said, "Please stop hitting me and lets talk about this."

The hitting continued. I decided to ask you one more time to stop. Vowing to myself that if you didn't - our relationship was over. Over forever. By any and every means necessary. So I asked you to stop yet again. You didn't and you beat me until I pissed my pants and passed out.

When I came to, I was angry. That was it. I couldn't run away but I'll be damned, I had the days counted until I turned 18. I stopped spending time with the rest of my family when you were home and stayed in my room alone. I didn't share anything with you, talk to you or even ask you for anything. I'll stay in those prison walls and suck it up. I'll study, I'll plan my life and I will write.

My next report card was straight A's but I didn't bring it home to show you. But you asked for it. I told you that I wasn't going to show you because it wasn't any of your business anymore. Boy, did that make you mad. Eventually I threw it at you, and you saw it. Disproving your assumptions that I had something to hide.

You responded with some bullshit line of, "I knew you could do this." I responded by saying, "Fuck you. I didn't get good grades for your approval. I did it for myself and my future - a future which is in my hands and not yours anymore. Fuck you."

For the first time ever, I wasn't scared and lo and behold you didn't come after me to hit me for disrespecting you. You ran off to your room, slammed the door and according Mom you cried for hours.

Today is Father's Day and don't expect a card from me seeking your approval. Don't expect a phone call either. Don't expect me to write a blog post saying how thankful I am for you. I am not a liar.

I do not approve of you. I do not forgive you. I do not love you. I do not care for you. I do not cry for you.

I do hate you. I am ashamed of you and embarrassed by you.

Yet every time I look in the mirror or glance at my daughter in just the right light, I see a part of you. I'm haunted by you and wish you would just go away. I wish you would die. A long, excruciating and painful gruesome death, at that.

But I'd still remember you. Because of this you will always have some sort of power over me. I know this makes you happy and in this, go ahead and have a Happy Father's Day, Asshole.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:08 AM   16 comments
Saturday, June 16, 2007
Soundtrack To Your Life Meme
Here's a fun Meme that I found over at Savannah Red's blog and I thought I'd give it a try.

***************

Here’s how it works:

1. Open your library (iTunes, winamp, media player, iPod)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that’s playing
5. New question– press the next button
6. Don’t lie and try to pretend you’re cool


***************

Here is the soundtrack to my life:

Opening Credits:

Welcome to My Nightmare----Alice Cooper

Waking Up:

Brain Damage-----Pink Floyd

First Day At School:

Freak on a Leash-----Korn

Falling in Love:

Land of Confusion-----Disturbed

Breaking Up:

Weed With Willie------Toby Keith

Prom:

99 Red Balloons-----Goldfinger

Life’s Okay:

Heavy Metal (Don't Mean Rock N' Roll to Me)-----Johnny Cash

Mental Breakdown:

Crazy Bitch------Buckcherry

Driving:

Mad World------Evergreen Terrace

Flashback:

Plush-----Stone Temple Pilots

Getting Back Together:

Everybody Wants Some-----Van Halen

Wedding:

My Name is Mud-----Primus

Birth of a Child:

Kodachrome------Paul Simon

Final Battle:

Orange Blossom Special-----Johnny Cash

Death Scene:

Faith-----Limp Bizkit

Funeral Song:

Waiting On The World to Change------John Mayer

End Credits:

One Toke Over The Line----Brewer & Shipley

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:13 AM   3 comments
Friday, June 15, 2007
Friday's Feast
Appetizer

Fill in the blank: The best thing about where I live is _________________

Well, I live in a Trailer Park and I can't really complain. It's a nice little place with very interesting neighbors each with their own little flair and character that make this street home. There seems to be a closeness here that wouldn't be found in an apartment complex or small community. I'll miss it when we leave.

Soup

Create a new name for a deodorant (like “Flower Fresh” or “Shower Scent”).

"Pit Stop"

Salad

What was the last piece of software you installed onto your computer?

CrapCleaner. It cleans out your computer of all the crap it can collect from surfing the net.

Main Course
If you were to receive a superlative award today beginning with the words ”Most likely to…”, what would the rest of the phrase say?

"Most likely to never, ever be able to fit into a size 10 again."

Dessert

What two colors do you like to wear together?

Tan and Mauve (Pink) - especially in the spring/summer season.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:18 AM   17 comments
Thursday, June 14, 2007
Oh Dear
So there you are. Having your first dinner party. Your parents are there. Your In-laws are there. The Minister and his wife are both there and your boss and his wife show up at the last moments notice.

You all are about to settle down for a nice relaxing dinner when in walks the family dog Porkchop.



Oh Dear.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:30 PM   3 comments
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
Conundrum of the Week
What to do when you need the garden hose to rinse off some dog crap - when it's the garden hose nozzle that was crapped upon?

***************

(Post your answer in the comments and I'll post the best answers here with linkback.)

The best answer was from Lavender: "Simple... unscrew the end attached to the spigot and rinse the nozzle under the water that gushes out of it."

Orhan came up with the next best solution: "Detach the hose from the nozzle/head, turn the hose on full and bend the end to make it look like a snake head. It should be spitting the water out hard enough to clean the nozzle. "

With Jill's suggestion following close behind.

Jayne and Dr. John both shared wise advice to throw the thing away.

With Hanlie and Woozie coming up with the most daring and crazy solutions of all.

***************
Thanks for playing everyone.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:07 AM   8 comments
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Welcome to my Trailer Park
Summer is here and things have gone nuts enough that I thought it's high time I started bloggin' about my lovely little neighborhood here. Trailer Parks have got to be the best place ever to be when there is nothing worth watching on TV, or your cable has been cut off.

Front porch sittin' is equal to studio audience seats at the Jerry Springer Show, especially in the summertime. Today for instance, I came home to see a Taxi Cab drop off a neighbor from an obvious beer run. Except said neighbor forgot to save a bit of money to pay his cab fare. A slew of angry unbleeped and uncensored words were tossed, then a lawn chair and a few punches. Before you know it, two police cars drive up to try and settle matters.

Yesterday was even crazier. Again, I drive home to see about 4-5 police cars parked up and down the street. Remember that half-out-of-her-head four year old I was talking about a few posts ago? Well, she seemed to have turned up missing yesterday afternoon and God only knows for how long before someone cared to take notice.

They found her, for somehow and in someway she managed to get underneath a neighbor's trailer who wasn't home and squeeze her way up through a floor vent. My floor vents are only about 5x10". How she managed to get her head and arms through is most certainly something a 4 year old who is out of her head could only do. She was stuck and they had to call out the fire and rescue department to literally saw her out of the vent.

Thank heavens she didn't attempt coming into our house at that level. It wasn't too long ago when I accidentally locked myself out of my house and had to submit to entering in through the doggy door.

Now, our Basset Hounds are darlings and would never hurt a fly. However, they are love bugs and if they could, they would jump up and lick us in the face whenever we came home. Luckily the short little shits can't do that, unless....

Unless you come in at their level. With their toilet water soaked long ears and big thirsty tongue kisses, you'd experience a little something like this:


Yeppers, you'd get the slobber, druel, bubblely snots and the whole kaboodle. Some watch-dogs they are, huh?

****************
Cold Turkey Update: Doing good, feel very hungry all the time for some reason. Yes, I did cave again today but compared to smoking a pack a day - this is progress.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:43 PM   4 comments
Monday, June 11, 2007
Day One of Cold Turkey
I'm quitting smoking today. Why in the world did I pick a frantic Monday of all days to do so? Whether it's the first of the week, first of the month or first of the year - too often it seems we put things off until then.

I decided to go for it Cold Turkey. No easing off, no nicotine patches, gum or prescription medication. I've quit before in the past and the only successful run was when I did it cold turkey. Sure the first week was hell to get through but once it was over, it was over. The patches and other things seemed to extend the pain and suffering.

I'll report later on how I'm doing, who I've managed to kill or slap and what sort of damage I've done in the process of quitting these nasty cigarettes. I don't imagine it will be too bad, for by God's mercy I had a chest cold over the past two days and all I have to do is think about how that mucus, cough and nasty taste and feeling and I'm grossed out enough to never smoke again. We'll see. Wish me luck, I'm gonna need it.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:28 AM   18 comments
Friday, June 08, 2007
Sometimes you're the bug - Sometimes you're the Windshield.
"Take a little trip, take a little trip
Take a little trip and see
Take a little trip, take a little trip
Take a little trip with me."

So you're putt-puttin' downtown along Bay Street when you decide to cross over to grab a bite to eat over at City Market. Only there's one little problem. You're in a wheelchair and a bit too short for the huge Semi to see in front of him as he sits at the red light - now turned green.

Your unseen Guardian Angels scramble, for today is NOT supposed to be your day. Then by a stroke of wild luck - instead of being squashed into the blacktop, your wheelchair handles become lodged in the grille of the Semi.

At 5, then 10 and finally at 15 mph you muster up the courage to open your eyes. Your ears are flapping in the wind and you've had about enough fresh air as a body can take. Only the Semi makes all of the stop lights and continues to accelerate.

20, 25 and 30 miles per hour and you start to feel your face swell with welts. Yes, your face - which has suddenly become the flyswatter from hell for every sand gnat, moth or skeeter that decided to cross Rt. 80 in the last 2 mile stretch.

A long four miles later, you're about to enter Garden City at speeds upwards to 40-45 mph and the rubber on your wheelchair wheels has worn off. Sparks are flying. Finally, the disbelieving driver of the Semi is pulled over by two undercover police officers. With many thanks to concerned passerbys who dialed 911 on their cell phones.

Whaddaya know? You're perfectly okay.. but Wow! What a ride!

(Next time you think you're having a bad day, think of 21-year-old, Ben Carpenter of Kalamazoo, MI, smile, and enjoy the ride.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:17 AM   8 comments
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
Running out of Gas
As I was driving home from shopping today my car sputtered and stalled. I had run out of gas!

Just as I thought things couldn't be any worse, a bee flew in my window and asked, "What seems to be the problem young lady?"

"I'm out of gas, " I replied, half wondering why I was even talking to a talking bee.

The bee then told me to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, I watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to my gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

"Try it now," said the bee.

I'll be darned, I turned the ignition key and the car started right up.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "What did you put in my gas tank"?


"BP," he answered.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 4:39 PM   6 comments
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
What if you don't like your child's friend?
Mean Mommy here to share my first experience with a friend of my daughter's whom I do not like. Is that mean? Am I horrible, uncaring and selfish?

I don't think so, but my husband seems to be horrified by the fact that I could even consider disliking an innocent 4 year old child. However according to this article:

It is a much known fact that when children are young their minds happen to be very impressionable. This is why it is so important to take the time to choose your child's association wisely. Some parents think that all little kids are innocent and unable of causing any real trouble. Other parents are well aware of the fact that young children can cause other young children to get into a lot of trouble, or pick up some very bad habits.

Not all parents agree on how to raise and discipline their children. So what you may not allow your child to do another parent may allow their child to do. A basic rule of thumb to follow is to make sure that you get to know the parents first. If you get to know the parents than you will be able to tell how the kids are and whether or not they are someone that you want your child to play or associate with.


To my defense this child is disobedient, disrespectful and from a dysfunctional family who obviously do not care where she is, as long as she is out of their hair. The article goes on to say:

The bottom line is that you are training and guiding your children to make good choices, and this includes picking good friends. Remember that no one can pick what is best for your child but you.

Now granted, later in Squirt's life things will be a little different, complicated even, by the time she is a teen. There will be friends that I do not like and I will handle the situation a bit differently. For starters, she will be old enough to understand that I will hold her accountable for her behavior.

At this time I find it very important to help her think about behaviors, her own and that of her friends. Children really do listen to their parents' opinions on a host of matters. If a friend of hers is rude, breaks her toys and manages to get them both into trouble - she needs to know how this makes me feel. She also needs the confidence and self esteem to communicate how she feels. To stand for what is right and to be better armed against peer pressure in her future.

Lastly, in this day and age there is a Play-date Protocol. As a working parent, it is very rude to see my car pull in the driveway and immediately send your child out the door to walk five houses down to play. Especially a four year old. What do I look like, a free babysitter?

I enjoy and like to supervise and monitor such play-date visits to make sure the children are safe and out of trouble. This means, I don't do laundry, houseclean, go on-line, talk on the phone or get anything done but spend quality supervised time with the children. From planning activities, snacks and a host of many other matters.

I would want to exchange phone numbers in case of emergency, know about allergies and what time the child would be picked up so I can have the children help straighten up their toys before hand. I would also need to be prepared to lock up gates such as the backyard pool area and secure the family pets for their safety as well as your child's.

Arrrgh the Aggravation. Funny thing, Squirt doesn't think I'm a mean Mommy at all. I wonder why?

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:59 PM   6 comments
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Tinfoil Chef: "Hamburger Helper BBQ SmackDown"
I was looking forward all week to BarBQ'ing outdoors again this weekend but instead we were stuck inside yesterday. Thankfully, for we've been praying for a nice day long soaking rain to help our drought conditions. Unfortunately, there went my plans for cooking supper outdoors.

Not liking to drive in the pouring rain, nor wanting to subject anyone else to driving out in it - grocery shopping and pizza delivery were out of the question. I had to instead make due with what was on hand, and trust me... Mother Hubbard's cupboards were practically bare.

Interestingly, out of a few resources and a bit of creativity and new favorite recipe can be discovered. I had some left over BBQ ribs and chicken from Memorial Day. A box of Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Macaroni. Some spices, condiments and a box of Jiffy Mix Cornbread. The end result was the perfect rainy day BBQ supper.

- 1-2lbs of leftover BBQ meats sliced into bite sized pieces and off the bone.
- 1 box Hamburger Helper Cheeseburger Macaroni
- 1 cup of hot water
- 1/4 cup of BBQ Sauce
- 2 Cups of Milk
- 1 TB of Liquid Smoke
- 1 Cup of Shredded Monty Jack Cheese

Combine all of these ingredients in a 10-inch skillet. Heat to boiling, stirring occasionally. Reduce heat, cover and simmer for about 15 minutes until Pasta is tender. Remove from heat, sprinkle on 1 cup of the cheese and let stand for 5 minutes.

Break out a pan of Jiffy Cornbread, some forks and plates and get ready to hear your taste buds sing.

-------------------------
(Blog my Dust!)

Labels: ,

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:44 PM   5 comments
Sports Illustrated Jr. Swimsuit Edition

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:52 AM   3 comments
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Welcome to Savannah. What would you like to drink?
"Welcome to Savannah. What would you like to drink?"

I've read this somewhere but for the life of me I can't remember from where. I'm suspecting the phrase came from the "book." Not necessarily a good book nor is it an evil. Perhaps better explained as that millisecond just before the clock chimes midnight. When it is considered to be the middle of the night, yet at the same time the beginning of a new day.

Confused yet? Good. That was my intention.

Anyhoo, I've been tagged by a fellow Savannah blogger Chris with an opportunity to let my creativity flow with this "Starbucker Meme".

--------------

1. How full is your glass? Just below half full.

2. What kind of glass is it? Walt Disney World's 25th Anniversary 14 oz. tumbler .

3. What's in the glass? Root Beer.

4. Reason for #1, #2 and #3.

I surmise it is just below half full because I've been drinking it. In fact... (slurp, slurp, slurp) ...now my glass is empty, besides for a few hot and bothered ice cubes tinkling on the bottom.

Time for a refill.

I often use one of these glasses of a set of four - because they are just the right size. Any bigger and the Root Beer would be watered down and have lost it's fizziness by the time I get down to the last drop. Any smaller and there would not be enough.

I also must mention that these glasses are so thick they are almost impossible to break. Sure, if I went outside and slammed dunked the glass on the hard concrete walk it may crack. Although with my luck it may instead bounce up and smack me right in the forehead. Either way, for a klutz like me - these glasses are perfect.

Now why Root Beer? It could be the crisp taste of Sarsaparilla. Maybe it is the smooth way it blends well with vanilla bean ice cream. However, I suspect Root Beer reminds me of that summer day at a family BarBQ when my Mother allowed me to have a cup of soda for the first time ever. It was an A&W Root Beer with that Frosty Mug taste and I haven't been able to put it down since.

Usually I don't tag other bloggers, but in the spirit of fun I tag the following:

Savannah Red
Georgia Peach Slices and
Deepak the Great. (Who is addicted to tea.)

-------------------------

(Blog my Dust!)

Labels: ,

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:46 PM   2 comments
It's Raining, It's Pouring.
For the past few weeks we've been in a severe drought. Lawns once green and plush, sizzled before our very eyes. As Bacon Park Golfer's grumbled and complained of the challenge of golfing in one great sand trap.

Critters with fur, feathers, scales and shells chanced highways and old ladies armed with brooms in their quest for water. Somewhere, there is a shell shocked Basset Hound resorting to drinking from his family's commode. After a brigade of Mockingbirds strategically dive-bombed a shock and awe campaign to commandeer his water bowl.

I awakened this morning to the sound of said Basset Hound's long ears flapping while shaking his sleepies away at the foot of our bed. The sound of our tin roof being tickled by thousands of raindrops proved to cure my caffeine addiction .

As I rolled over to let my other ear enjoy this elevator music from heaven, my eyes opened to a cymbal of glee.

There was an intruder in our bedroom flashing me!

The strange smell of brand new shower curtain permeated my fresh morning air. There, at the side of our bed was our daughter standing with her boots on backwards. Umbrella in hand and wearing her never-before-worn raincoat with nothing on underneath but her Underoos.

For the first time since we've purchased her rain gear - arrived the perfect opportunity to test drive them. Puddles were outside aching to be stomped.

Finally, this morning a little girl can find out for her very self, what raindrops taste like. While a Hush Puppy goes outside to be relieved.

His water bowl has now been set free.

(Blog my Dust!)

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:18 PM   6 comments
Friday, June 01, 2007
Row, Row, Row the Boat.
"Row, Row, Row the Boat. Gently down the street..."

Kids sure have a way of totally messing with a song's lyrics. Then again, so do some adults. What songs have you managed to totally slaughter the lyrics to?

For me, "Blinded by the Light" by Manfred Mann once suffered greatly in a couple of it's verses.




(Blog my Dust!)

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:37 AM   3 comments

About Me

Previous Issues

Archives

Having Issues?

Do you have issues?
If so, click here and
tell us about it!

Awards/Webrings

Bloggy Buds

Subscribe

Weblog Visitors

Affiliates



Lillian Vernon Online

TigerDirect

Template Doctored by:
Coastal Data Enterprises