Tuesday, June 05, 2007
What if you don't like your child's friend?
Mean Mommy here to share my first experience with a friend of my daughter's whom I do not like. Is that mean? Am I horrible, uncaring and selfish?

I don't think so, but my husband seems to be horrified by the fact that I could even consider disliking an innocent 4 year old child. However according to this article:

It is a much known fact that when children are young their minds happen to be very impressionable. This is why it is so important to take the time to choose your child's association wisely. Some parents think that all little kids are innocent and unable of causing any real trouble. Other parents are well aware of the fact that young children can cause other young children to get into a lot of trouble, or pick up some very bad habits.

Not all parents agree on how to raise and discipline their children. So what you may not allow your child to do another parent may allow their child to do. A basic rule of thumb to follow is to make sure that you get to know the parents first. If you get to know the parents than you will be able to tell how the kids are and whether or not they are someone that you want your child to play or associate with.

To my defense this child is disobedient, disrespectful and from a dysfunctional family who obviously do not care where she is, as long as she is out of their hair. The article goes on to say:

The bottom line is that you are training and guiding your children to make good choices, and this includes picking good friends. Remember that no one can pick what is best for your child but you.

Now granted, later in Squirt's life things will be a little different, complicated even, by the time she is a teen. There will be friends that I do not like and I will handle the situation a bit differently. For starters, she will be old enough to understand that I will hold her accountable for her behavior.

At this time I find it very important to help her think about behaviors, her own and that of her friends. Children really do listen to their parents' opinions on a host of matters. If a friend of hers is rude, breaks her toys and manages to get them both into trouble - she needs to know how this makes me feel. She also needs the confidence and self esteem to communicate how she feels. To stand for what is right and to be better armed against peer pressure in her future.

Lastly, in this day and age there is a Play-date Protocol. As a working parent, it is very rude to see my car pull in the driveway and immediately send your child out the door to walk five houses down to play. Especially a four year old. What do I look like, a free babysitter?

I enjoy and like to supervise and monitor such play-date visits to make sure the children are safe and out of trouble. This means, I don't do laundry, houseclean, go on-line, talk on the phone or get anything done but spend quality supervised time with the children. From planning activities, snacks and a host of many other matters.

I would want to exchange phone numbers in case of emergency, know about allergies and what time the child would be picked up so I can have the children help straighten up their toys before hand. I would also need to be prepared to lock up gates such as the backyard pool area and secure the family pets for their safety as well as your child's.

Arrrgh the Aggravation. Funny thing, Squirt doesn't think I'm a mean Mommy at all. I wonder why?


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:59 PM  
  • At 4:32 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hi Dahling!

    You are so lucky you have a choice dear. Here in dem South Africa our current government in true socialist style - ie replacing the parents with the State - are attempting to pass into law an Act that will prohibit parents from smacking their naughty children. Hell I know I was a brat and deserved a hiding! Gosh common sense really has gone out the window I would think. But there is something more sinister at work here. I know from varsity what these socialist types really are like. Drug addicts deluxe having taken Acid, weed, booze, and now the in-fashion is ecstacy of course - all little Miss Cunts using socialism as a mask for their own inadequacies. And now they have power! Power to influence so they think - thats what worries me. When they say spare the rod. What motivates them. Are they actually saying that to help the child or are they actually trying to get at the very establishment that cast them out? I would argue that socialism seems to be a repository for evil people - demon possessed people who have at the basis of all their kak about society a deep hatred towards our Holy Father - the Almighty. -- and with your problematic parents its also sinister isn't it. How can anyone who knows God not discipline the child? And picking the right friends you are right on there my dear. Hell I picked the wrong friends and just recently got screwed again! But this all speaks of a great error in our society! Think of Paris Hilton sorry Minister Paris Hilton (now blaspheming God completely). There is also a theory that psychopaths are created by their parents. So you would do well to keep your baby away from that psychopath dahling.
    Love the good Dr Hanlie!

  • At 5:42 PM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said…

    .. young children can cause other young children to get into a lot of trouble, or pick up some very bad habits.

    So very true.

  • At 5:20 PM, Blogger - PRACTiCAL CHiCK said…

    Because deep down she knows something about her just isn't right. I think you are doing a great thing - and for the record...any child that walks through my door is subject to all the rules of this house. If they don't like it, they can leave and not come back! :)

    Keep up the good mommy-ing and tell daddy-o that it is time to face reality...if you don't do this now, you can't do it when she is 16.

  • At 11:01 AM, Blogger christina said…

    Thank you so much for this post. It is really refreshing to hear that I am not the only "mean mommie" that picks and chooses who my child can play with

  • At 11:17 AM, Anonymous lovemybiggirl said…

    I am having a rough time with my seven yr old's friend, they go to school together and live right around the corner. My daughter is making good choices, and seems to be a leader. The girl drive me nuts with her little princess attitude, but she is the only girl at her house. She is not a bad child, just boast and rude. My daughter seems to be making a good impression on her already. Is this ok to continue to allow my daughter possibly make a great difference in this child's life....

  • At 7:40 AM, Blogger Margaret said…


    I wrote this blog post 5 years ago and my daughter is now 9. She's held the same standards that I expect fairly well throughout these few years despite different influences.

    She's at this odd stage now trying to find her place in school and we had a little tough time earlier this school year. She made the assumption that her school bullies were the most popular and had the most friends.

    It took a bit of correction but she finally saw the light that it is far better to have friends who want to be your friend rather than friends who are afraid not to be your friend.

    I think it'll be okay, she lives around the corner and you'll want to at least ensure a friendly relationship between them. Just keep your eyes and ears open, be friendly and there will be times that you may have to correct assumptions. But I think you'll do well with that and the little girl will definitely be affected and reap the benefits of a loving home such as yours.

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