Friday, June 30, 2006
Compulsive Shopping
Gon purchased his first Digital Camcorder today after going to the store to pick up some simple "needed" items. Jeez, talk about compulsive shoppers! To think I even felt the slightest bit guilty when I bought a new bathing suit last week.

Anyhoo, compulsiveness is one psychosis all in itself - there is something deeper and more sinister that concerns me enough to share.

Here is the first photo he had taken on the Camcorder:



It is a picture of the Wal-mart parking lot!!!!

To get a better sense of this madness consider these few facts:
  • It was a steamy 94 degrees for most of the afternoon.

  • Thanks to the new Truman Parkway entrance on Whitfield, the new Super-Walmart is only 5 minutes away from home. (If that.)

  • The camcorder came in one of those theft protective cases. You know, the kind that need a hacksaw to even get into when you do bring the purchase home? This means he broke a sweat and perhaps his copy of our house key, to break the package open.

  • It didn't come charged or with batteries, so he had to put them in. (If he remembered to buy them and if not, my bet is he ran back into the Wal-mart for them. Never mind we have a fresh case of high end double-A batteries here in the comfort of our home.)

  • The instruction booklet was left untouched and later was found on the floor under the passenger's side seat.

Now speaking of that bathing suit, what would have he thought if I couldn't wait to get home to put it on? If I stripped in my car so I could immediately wear it?

Oh never mind, if guys got wind of girls putting on bathing suits in the Wal-mart parking lot, they'd all run out to buy digital cameras to take pictures.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:18 PM   4 comments
Etour & Travel Rip Off Report
I learned some time ago the art of blogging and search engines give us consumers a bit of power in the free market. Whether you blog about a wonderful restaurant review or a delightful new friendly store in your neighborhood. If you blog about it, they will notice and so will others.

Every once in awhile, you may come across a bunch of fraudulent, rude pricks. It is our duty to warn others about such nonsense and put out a buyer beware, a major complaint and do a massive bitch out over a company that seeks to rip people off.

So please forgive me at this moment while I do just that. Excuse my language as I will most certainly admit - I am very emotional over this matter right now. This isn't like me - for those who know me I am optimistic, fun, forgiving and will more than likely cry over a matter than throw a brick through a window. Except this time.

If you ever call and make hotel reservations or vacation planning to Florida you may receive a telemarketing call from this place called "eTour & Travel". They do this sort of thing sometimes when you make reservations and put yourself in some sort of database that you are a traveler. However, if you ever get a call, an email or a snail mail from "eTour & Travel" - trust me, report them as Spam - toss out the entire envelope mailed to you or demand that they remove you from their calling list.

They are nothing but frauds and I've been burnt by them terribly. Our bank account drained by unauthorized withdrawals and they are evil, dishonest scammers. If "eTour & Travel" or any other marketer calls - it would be wise to first Google their company name and take a look see if there are any complaints or posts such as this out there before doing business with them.

Live and learn, I suppose.

Thankfully, together with my banking institution I received restitution yesterday afternoon. It's not over by a long shot, for they are now facing criminal charges filed with the Attorney General of Florida. It seemed I'm not the only bank customer who was sucked into this ordeal.

This blog post is in hopes nobody else gets in "eTour & Travel's" greedy, dishonest and slimy hands.

Thanks for bearing with me..
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:26 PM  
Thursday, June 29, 2006
Surviving Slim-Fast Flatulence
Oh go on now, admit it already. If you have ever been on a high protein milkshake diet you have dealt a few.

A little quick research on the web indicates that the average human on a normal diet poots between 6 and 20 times per day. More than 40 poots a day is considered to be excessive and if you ever drank a can of Slim-Fast you have certainly experienced the obscene side of extreme.

Hydrogen sulfide is what provides the bouquet and a single can of Slim-Fast carries more sulfates and phosphates than your favorite can of baked beans. Just pooting hot air is one thing but giving flight to the Hindenburg is quite another story.

The Slim-Fast poots also don't own a sense of common etiquette. No matter where you are you'll soon feel your abdoman twist and cramp demanding immediate relief. If you're lucky you'll be in the Supermarket near the aged cheese section and can blow it off to passerbys as a cheese product gone bad.

Do you own a Dog? Great! They have a way of taking the blame proudly. (The same can be said for some husbands.)

By all means while in public places please try to avoid recreating the following:

- The CHINESE FIRECRACKER POOT:
This is an exceptional multiple noted poot identified by the number and variety of its noises, mostly pops and bangs. Often when you think it is all over it still has a few pops and bangs to go.

- The INTERROGATIVE POOT:
Starts out low and rises in pitch toward its conclusion. Sounds like
your ass is asking a question!

Stick with the 'Silent but deadly' varieties and don't make it too obvious by nervously coughing or staring up at the ceiling pretending you haven't noticed the aroma. The trick is not to identify the pooter but the poot itself. Make yourself appear as if you're trying to determine the source. Works every time.

Above all, "Shake well. Serve Cold. Enjoy."
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:40 PM   5 comments
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Going Postal on the Mail Carrier
13 Complaints that I wish to say to our half-baked USPS mail carrier:

1. We rent DVDs online through Blockbuster and I am fairly certain that our mail carrier is watching them before she delivers them. Particularly the ones in a good season like LOST or 24. While we sit here in agonizing anxiety wondering what happens next - she is off watching our vids!

2. For the love of God PLEASE stop stuffing my parcels in my mail cubby. If they barely fit through the post carriers back end - they sure as hell won't be able to come out our end. Not without tearing the book or box to shreds while trying to do so.

3. Why do they leave that little post card that reads, "Sorry we missed you" when I have been home all day. Is it laziness? Too hot to get out of the mail jeep to come knock on my door?

4. I fill out that same little post card and check off the redeliver box and specify "where" to leave my parcel in the case that I am not home. (Front porch) Two days later instead of receiving my package I am given another "Sorry we missed you" post card!

5. The Post office is 12 miles away. Gas is $2.68 per gallon. The line at the post office is 1 mile long. I paid postage and handling to the company whom I had purchased my parcel from. Why do I have to go to the Post office to get it at my own expense when I'm not on the USPS payroll?

6. Yet each month I get Ms Betsy's diabetes medicine mis-delivered in my mailbox without fail. The address label is correct yet Ms Betsy lives 8 houses down. Ms Betsy is old, has gout and makes me come in and drink rancid warm lemonade in her knick-knack cluttered, musty house every time I bring her mis-delivered parcel to her. Stop it!

7. My cat is only a furry and friendly house pet not a Saber-tooth tiger. There is no reason to toss my parcel of glass bottled fragrance oils onto my porch and haul ass running and screaming to the mail jeep.

8. Pepper spraying poor innocent kitty cats is cruel!! No wonder he doesn't like you.

9. When I place mail in my box with a note that reads, "No such person at this address" you should take note of that.

10. Stop redelivering it over and over and over again.

11. Why is it when I go to the Post Office to mail a parcel, it arrives at its destination in a timely matter.

12. But when I have a parcel picked up here at home it rarely reaches its destination and if it does, it arrives months later, despite the 1st Class Priority Delivery options that I paid for?

13. Stop it with the AOL Disks already!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:38 PM   40 comments
President Bush blogging on MySpace
In an effort to stop his ever sinking approval ratings, President Bush and VP Dick Cheney try blogging on MySpace!

(Click to Play)


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:52 AM   0 comments
Monday, June 26, 2006
Harbottle's Caption Competition
Every month Harbottle's Encyclopedia runs a challenging Caption Competition. To enter the contest simply email your hilarious caption idea, your name and where you come from to tarbyandlynchy@yahoo.co.uk

I find this month's photo funny enough without words. Just using our imagination and guessing what could be going on is hilarious enough.

But for the 57th caption competion and in the spirit of yesterday's post, I would have the caption say:

"Oh come on Granny! Stop being such a prude. It's only a dainty wee-bitty pecker."
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:39 PM   2 comments
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Never Ever Call "It" Dainty!
If you have a child or been anywhere near a child, you've had it happen to you. The intrusive knee to the groin.

Whether it is during play or the child's convenient hoisting spot to climb upon your lap - the groin is very vulnerable.

Gon has again experienced this break-a-sweat killjoy just moments ago and he let out a howl of horror sending poor Squirt running over to me for consultation. I explained to her, "Daddy's have a dainty spot that hurts if you step or put your knee on it."

Oh my gosh, was he mad! Whatever you do ladies - never ever refer to a man's down-under regions as dainty. It hurts their feelings terribly.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:40 PM   1 comments
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Friday's Feast
This week I'm going to try something new. Fridays Feast is a meme all about feeding your mind by asking thought-provoking, mind-stimulating questions. Each Friday when you visit this meme, you will find 5 enticing courses for your mind to gobble up. Here goes:

Appetizer
On a scale of 1-10 with 10 being highest, how much do you like your job?

Which job? I feel like the Taxi driver on the movie 'Coneheads' who had 49 jobs. But seriously, I'd have to say that all my jobs rate an average of 7 on a good day. There will always be a mess to pick up, numbers to crunch, code to decipher and weeds to be pulled.

Soup
When was the last time you think you were lied to?

It's been about a year ago, when our Cotin-zombie neighbor asked me for a ride to the store because her son was sick and she had to fill his prescription. The following day it was a ride to the emergency room for a script. It was seriously becoming an everyday event and I felt like I was the one taken for the ride.

Salad
Share some lyrics from one of your favorite songs.

"I went to see the doctor of philosophy
With a poster of Rasputin and a beard down to his knee
He never did marry or see a B-grade movie
He graded my performance, he said he could see through me
I spent four years prostrate to the higher mind, got my paper
And I was free.....There's more than one answer to these questions
pointing me in crooked line
The less I seek my source for some definitive
The closer I am to fine."

Main Course
What do you do/take when you are in pain?

Tylenol PM is great. For migraines I have a simple recipe of one aspirin, one tylenol and one ibruprofen chased down with a tall glass of Mountain Dew. Then there is that one time... in band camp...........

Dessert
Fill in the blanks: My __________ is very __________.

My 'husband' is very 'sexy'. (I'd say more but I'll bow out and leave on that note because he's looking unusually sexy this evening for some odd reason.)


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:50 PM   21 comments
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
13 Reasons to dig or not to dig.
Last Thursday I posted the 13 possibilities that could be the perpetrator of the strange bearded apparition that keeps appearing on my doggy door flap. The legend of Blackbeard the Pirate has been brought to my attention and I am now considering excavating my back patio and going on an archaeological dig to find Blackbeards buried treasure.

Here are 13 reasons why I should and why I shouldn't take up my shovel and start digging:

1. It is widely believed that Blackbeard also used the Georgia coast, where its meandering tidal rivers, inlets, and barrier islands served as excellent hiding places. He and his crew would quickly strike at ships then retreat to hide. It is believed that somewhere on Georgias barrier islands is buried treasure.

2. We are located between two Georgia coastal tidal rivers; the Moon and the Vernon Rivers.

3. It is said that Blackbeards headless ghost guards his treasure. Since the apparition appears only to be the head of something or somebody - the rest of his ghostly figure could be haunting under my back patio! Yikes!

4. Pirates, outlaws and outcasts were among coastal dwellers in Georgia. The Pirates House in Savannah is reputed to have some lurking in its attic and in the old tunnel once used to shanghai drugged sailors. (Their Peach Ice Cream Pie is fantastic too!)

6. Edward "Blackbeard" Teach made a home on Blackbeard Island located south of Savannah. No treasure has been found there, then again - why would Blackbeard bury his booty in the most obvious place; his home?

7. Perhaps no other city in this country is as haunted as Savannah. Beneath this city's romantic facade lies a multitude of eerie tales. From pirates that still reside in the Pirates' House Restaurant, the angry spirit who haunts the Shrimp Factory restaurant, the strange happenings in the house of Jim Williams--the central character in the book Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil--and many other spooky stories.

8. Long before the city of Savannah was established there was still human activity going on in the area. Infamous historical figures such as Blackbeard regularly used the Savannah area as a rest stop and as access to the Americas.

9. Savannah's spirit belongs to sea and pirates and privateers, freebooters and buccaneers are part of the maritime tradition of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries.

11. Most of the pirated Merchant ships carried little, if any, actual treasure. They usually hauled cargo such as grain, molasses and kegs of rum. Could there be kegs buried under my patio?!

12. When asked if his wife knew where he had buried his treasure, Blackbeard bellowed that nobody but he "...and the Devil knew where it was buried and the longest liver shall take it." Ah ha, so that explains the song "The Devil went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal." Double Yikes!

13. Yet on one of Blackbeard's trips he decided to hide a portion of his loot. To safeguard this treasure he left his woman behind. Whether she was his actual wife or merely one of a long line of women he had and discarded is a source of controversy. But, from all accounts she had feelings for Teach and he must have trusted her to some degree or he wouldn't have given her the whereabouts of the treasure. Many have claimed to see an apparition wandering the island crying, "He will come back." Maybe she is tired of waiting for him to return or she found out about the 'other women' and is trying to tell me something?


Shovel or no Shovel? - I'll let my readers decide.

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 5:39 PM   17 comments
Trash Day
Why Lord? Why do the Sanitation workers always place my Curbie behind my vehicle and out of my range of site? Why haven't I learned after all this time to check behind my car before I back out of my driveway on Wednesday mornings?

I'm hereby putting in a call to all IT engineers to strive to develop a Curbie-bot. Yes, you heard me correctly. A garbage can that is programmed to roll itself out to the curb at a said time and place then roll itself back to its usual position after detecting it has been emptied.

Think of the possibilities! No longer will anyone forget to roll their Curbie out to the curb on trash day. We will spare the rear bumpers of cars and egos of homeowners everywhere.

It must be as uncomplicated as taking an old lawn mower chassis, a solar powered battery pack and a timer of some sort. A simple scale, point A to point B programming detail and most importantly a "This End Up" siren or voice notification. Similar to Squirt's 'Hokey Pokey Elmo' who knows when he falls over and says, "Whoops, Elmo fall down. Help Elmo up please?"

Except, I would prefer that my Curbie have a bit more "trash talk" programmed in to get my message across in my absence.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 1:19 PM   0 comments
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Paper Trail
To all of the people who laughed at me at the Diamond Causeway Kroger Market this afternoon, please let me explain!!!

We have a very creative 3 year old daughter at home who felt it was absolutely necessary for everyone to have a 'tail' this morning. She had assigned a strip of toilet paper about 5 sheets long to all of us and insisted that we tuck it in the waistbands of our jeans. (Never mind the fact we had to dance around like fairies for 10 minutes so our 'tails' would fly in the wind behind us.)

I honestly forgot it was there!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:30 PM   4 comments
Monday, June 19, 2006
Man charged in street sweeper joy ride

Manchester NH; An unattended street sweeper was just too tempting for a Bedford man early yesterday morning.

Michael Moran, 26, of 19 Ministerial Road, was charged with taking the street sweeper without the owner's consent and with drunken driving.

The street sweeper, owned by Outdoor Pride, was being used in the parking garage off Kosciuszko Street around closing time for local taverns. The operator got off and left for a moment when Moran got on the machine, started it up and drove off, according to Manchester police.

He drove the machine north to the end of Kosciuszko Street and turned east unto to Bridge Street and then south on Berkeley Street where he was caught by several people chasing him according to police.

Police said Moran admitted taking the street sweeper without permission and told them it was a stupid thing to do.



(It sure was, but I would have done the same thing when I was that age. While sober no less. Just to say that I did.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:33 PM   1 comments
Sunday, June 18, 2006
The Gematriculator
I found this handy dandy little rating thing-a-ma-bob over at Regular Jo's blog. My first thoughts were to avoid the Gematriculator as if it were the newest plague. But my curiosity got the better of me.

This site is certified 77% GOOD by the Gematriculator

This site is certified 23% EVIL by the Gematriculator


Jeez, and I thought there wasn't an evil bone in my body. It must be detecting my soon to arrive PMS schedule. I bet I'll rate 85% evil by this time next week.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:11 PM   2 comments
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Married man - no ring!
Dear Mix; "What is up with so many married men not wearing their wedding rings? This really bothers me because it says they want to appear single and unattached. I have heard so often about numbers of adultery and divorce in the U.S. are off the charts." - Canadian Lady Confused


A wedding ring is only a symbol NOT some sort of consumer labeling while you are off shopping for a guy. Who are you to assume what ringless married men are thinking?

Could be lost. Could not fit anymore. The guy could have some sort of electronic job where the actual wearing of a conductive ring could fry his nuts off. Okay, at the very least his finger.

If adultery is running rampid in the US it is not because a man isn't wearing his wedding ring. It takes two to enter into such a proposal and it is up to you - a woman to make the necessary efforts to personally know who you are sleeping with and whether or not he is married.

Take it from a wife who knows how to send her man out the door in the morning with obvious "I am married" signals. FABRIC SOFTNER Yes, preferably the lavender or blossom scented. The smell lets any interested ladies know right off that he is either married or living with his Mother.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:32 PM   2 comments
Mix Pix Photo Blog Awards
There are many "Photo Blogs" out in the blogosphere and I would like to recognize the Photographer's talents here at Mix-Pix Awards. From photos of nature, travel, family and abstract shots we would love to see your work!

To Enter the Contest or to nominate a site; please email me at Margiemix@comcast.net or simply fill out the form on the right sidebar at the Mix-Pix Awards site.

Please be sure to include the web address to the blog being submitted.

Entrees will be judged in a positive light on content and design.

Contest ends: "Sunday - July 15, 2006."

Winners will be given a "Mix Pix Photo Blogger Award" and recognition here and throughout the blogosphere. Amateur Photographers and bloggers encouraged to apply!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 3:11 PM   0 comments
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
How to recreate a Wonder Pets episode
(Squirt's first attempt at blogging.)


So you would like to recreate a Nickelodeon's 'Wonder Pets' episode yet you don't have a 'fly-boat' available to "save the day". No problem. Let me show you how it's done.

First and most importantly you must lock your bedroom door to keep your Mommy and Daddy out. If they get wind of "an animal in trouble" they will quickly barge in and halt your filming production immediately.

Since we don't have a 'fly-boat' and we need to get 'Linny the Guinea Pig' to school in the first place; it is time to break out the trusty Fisher Price Little People School Bus. Just toss the Little People aside and stuff your pet Guinea Pig inside the bus. If he doesn't fit simply make him fit. Then fly the school bus in the air like this....



Lastly, whatever you do be careful not to drop the 'fly-bus' or crash into anything. This will cause your Piggy to squeal in fright and your Mommy and Daddy will bust through the door in seconds flat. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing especially if your Guinea Pig is fat and stuck inside of the school bus.

You'll learn the importance of "Teamwork" when Mommy and Daddy help you dislodge your entrapped Piggy and safely place him back in his cage. Then they can bribe him with celery so he doesn't phone those PETA people to report his alleged hair raising experience.

- posted by Squirt

(Disclosure: No animals were harmed in the making of this blog.)
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 8:24 PM   3 comments
Name that Apparition
13 Doggy Door Apparition Possibilities.

Used frequently by our two Basset Hounds this Doggy Door is certainly worth it's weight in gold. Despite how often we groom our dogs and the countless bottles of '409' used to clean the flap - this image, or dare I say "apparition" keeps appearing!



A sure conversation piece for family and friends who are enthralled in debating over which celebrity this image resembles. To settle this argument once and for all, I'm asking the blogosphere for your opinions. So which is it?


1. Jesus
2. Jerry Garcia
3. Santa Claus
4. Hank Wms, Jr.
5. Tommy Chong
6. Grizzly Adams
7. The Infamous Bearded Al Gore
8. President Harrison
9. Captain Hook
10. Willie Nelson
11. Chewbacca
12. Kenny Rogers
13. Victor French

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 4:45 PM   37 comments
Husband's Hero Status now Downgraded
No way. Nuh uh. You have GOT to be kidding me!

Last evening my husband posted a blog about his self-implied heroic attempts to battle a creepy Palmetto Bug. (I thought you were studying for your final today, Gon?)

He, in fact, did kill the bug yesterday morning and would have used dynamite if it were available. But it was an entire different story last night when I let out a shriek of horror.

I went to bed before him and as I was laying there halfway between consciousness and sleep, something cold and wet plopped on my face. I jumped up half suspecting the roof was leaking thanks to Tropical Storm Alberto but instead upon my pillow, I found this:


A Tree Frog!

It stared at me with it's beady eyes as I let out a scream chuck full of shock and horror. Lord have mercy as I don't have any inkling how that thing could have have entered the house; but it did and it didn't look too happy about being inside either.

Mr. "Blow 'em up and swat 'em down" from earlier in the morning suddenly turned into Steve Irwin; The Crocodile Hunter. In a low whisper full of awe and adrenaline he examined the nasty little tree frog;

"Whoa mate! Here we have the classic tree frog. Totally out of his natural environment and urinating on my Sheila's pillow as he fears for his life."

What an idiot!!!! Smush the thing already!!

He didn't. The cold blooded beady eyed creature leaped all over the bedroom while Gon tried to capture it in order to save its life and release it outside. Instead it managed to hide itself behind the dresser when Gon gave up and suggested we leave it there. Assuring me that it would come back out eventually.

Around 3:30 am the chirping began and there laid my husband snoozing away as if he was camping in the great outdoors or something. Some hero he is!
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:34 AM   2 comments
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Husband Exterminator Services
Nothing gets your blood flowing than opening up your laundry hamper and have a 4" roach fly right at you!

The rich, the poor and the dirty, the clean - nobody is immune to the dreaded Palmetto bug.

7AM this morning our unwelcomed guest made his first and final debut. After a hot shower and shave I proceeded to toss my towels in the hamper and lo an behold, there it was. Sitting there on top of yesterday's worn sweaty socks like it was his own personal hang-out.

Then it hissed at me! Or maybe it was the sound of it's wings. I have no idea, but trust me there was a noise involved as this giant tried to dive bomb me. I was completely vulnerable and dressed in only a towel and without a shoe in sight to defend myself.

Now men don't scream nor do we shriek in a moment such as this. Instead we tend to keep our calm and use plenty of expletives. Which I proudly did with passion as that creepy bug flew around the bathroom hissing and making that "tic" sound each time it landed on the counter, ceiling or sink.

My only means of defense was my wet towel wrapped around me from my earlier shower. I wound, aimed and snapped at that bugger managing to bring down the window curtain and breaking the toothbrush holder in the process. A sure signal to my wife and daughter that I may be in distress.

In the bathroom my family came and out the bathroom door the roach escaped. Squirt ran back into the living room screaming, "It's going to eat me!" I'm still not sure while recalling this evening if she meant the Palmetto bug or my naked backside.

Either way, my family troops were deployed and armed to the hilt with available shoes and me with my snapper towel. 10 minutes and a bedroom of destruction later I finally delighted in the sound of it's crunch as I 'moab bombed' his crunchy carcass into oblivion.

My wife than scraped it up with a tissue and flushed it down the toilet. I can't tell if she's angry at me or not, but she is still looking at me quite strangely and quietly this evening. Maybe I should have helped her put the bedroom back together?

- submitted by Gon
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:03 PM   1 comments
Saturday, June 10, 2006
Solution to neighbor issues.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:18 PM   0 comments
Friday, June 09, 2006
God IS Good!
Hey Margaret! "I found your blog by accident and wondered for a while if it was you! What happened to the blond I used to know? What ever happened with Eddie, do you hear from him?" -Henry

HENREEEEEEEEEEEEE! What's up my man?!

I'm still blonde, just a different shade that works better with those incoming whites and grays - courtesy of the "middle-aged mothership".

Eddie's 43-year-old gambling addiction finally paid off and he landed a 19 year old chick from his hometown in NJ. They've been mating like bunnies and now have four kids between them. (One set of twins.) Adorable little darlings.

He has this spiffy job working for the automotive division of this big corporation named Wal-Mart down near that big fancy place; Atlantic City. Contrary to my previous concerns he has been eating very well. Overall he's fine and would probably love to hear from you.

Here is a recent picture that he sent to me. His wife, the twins, her son and the girl in the middle - towards the back - that is his daughter from his previous marriage but NOT from his previous wife.


That my friend, is what happened to him. God IS Good! -Margie
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 12:06 AM   0 comments
Thursday, June 08, 2006
What Girls on-line have to tolerate...
Hi Margie: "I'm Michael, a Southern Black Gentleman. I hail from the Gulf Coast of Mississippi, (can you spell that lol), and recently moved to this area. You seem like you might be an interesting person to talk with, so don't prove me wrong lol. I'm 6'1", slender build, work as a Hospital Administrative Officer, mostly nites and alot of weekends, (the pay is good, which makes up for the lack of a social life). If your interested, consider writting back. I'm single and not looking for a relationship. PS: I'm not a stalker or wierdo, at least thats what my therapist says, (just kiddin). So if you want to HOLLER back."

What in the tarnations is this?!!! I could be a stalker or a wierdo!! I've been certified as worse, at least that's what my parole officer and psychotherapist say!!!!

(Hey now, you told me to "holler" back if I wanted.)

I'm Margie (as you know) a damn Yankee from New Jersey with a Philadelphia attitude, holed up down here in the South by a court ordered ankle bracelet because I'm a supporter of antidisestablishmentarianism. (try spelling that lol) I'm 5'7' and stacked like the freekin' Michelin Man. Imagine a 180lb vacuum packed Ziploc-bag, chock full of cocktail weiners. Now add tons of body hair to that imagery. This, Dear Michael is what my a** looks like.

I am employed as a Domestic engineer of a 2 bedroom/2 bath trailer on wheels. I breed cockroaches for fertilizer by using "half-empty-mason-jars-of-sweet-southern-iced-tea" as knickknacks throughout my home. My ceiling fan alone has more hair than your typical southern basset hound has on his whole entire body but not nearly as much as I have on my own.

I'm married and not looking for a romantic, casual or discrete relationship. However, since you seem to have connections working as a Hospital Administrative Officer - I could use a hook up with some of those vials of "Demeral" (most likely found in the maternity ward drug locker, for that is where I spyed them last.) So sure, I'm interested and will like to write you back.

-Margie

PS: Sorry for the freak-out but you did ask for it.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:41 PM   0 comments
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
He's been DENIED!
Dear Margie: "Me and my girlfriend have been living together since the beginning of the year. She has never taken off her shirt during sex and it is driving me crazy. Any advice?" Breast Man in Idaho

Dear Mr. Denied; All I can say is you need to talk to her about it. Little by little she'll slowly let you in on her inhibitions and someday you may get lucky. For your sake I'm hoping this is just a simple case of "I feel fat and self-conscious" and she'll come around.

However in this day and age, you should prepare yourself for some worst case scenarios.

- She has a hairy chest.
- She has her ex-boyfriends name tattooed on her chest.
- She has a battleship tattoo on her chest.

When you do find out whatever it may be, try not to make a funny face. You make enough funny faces during sex as it is. In the meantime dare to use your imagination. Good luck. -Mix
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:00 PM   0 comments
Don't let Etour and Travel Rip you off too!
I learned some time ago the art of blogging and search engines give us consumers a bit of power in the free market. Whether you blog about a wonderful restaurant review or a delightful new friendly store in your neighborhood. If you blog about it, they will notice and so will others.

Every once in awhile, you may come across a bunch of fraudulent, rude pricks. It is our duty to warn others about such nonsense and put out a buyer beware, a major complaint and do a massive bitch out over a company that seeks to rip people off.

So please forgive me at this moment while I do just that. Excuse my language as I will most certainly admit - I am very emotional over this matter right now. This isn't like me - for those who know me I am optimistic, fun, forgiving and will more than likely cry over a matter than throw a brick through a window. Except this time.

If you ever call and make hotel reservations or vacation planning to Florida you may receive a telemarketing call from this place called "eTour & Travel". They do this sort of thing sometimes when you make reservations and put yourself in some sort of database that you are a traveler. However, if you ever get a call, an email or a snail mail from "eTour & Travel" - trust me, report them as Spam - toss out the entire envelope mailed to you or demand that they remove you from their calling list.

They are nothing but frauds and I've been burnt by them terribly. Our bank account drained by unauthorized withdrawals and they are evil, dishonest scammers. If "eTour & Travel" or any other marketer calls - it would be wise to first Google their company name and take a look see if there are any complaints or posts such as this out there before doing business with them.

Live and learn, I suppose.

Thankfully, together with my banking institution I received restitution yesterday afternoon. It's not over by a long shot, for they are now facing criminal charges filed with the Attorney General of Florida. It seemed I'm not the only bank customer who was sucked into this ordeal.

This blog post is in hopes nobody else gets in "eTour & Travel's" greedy, dishonest and slimy hands.

Thanks for bearing with me..
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:32 PM  

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