Sunday, September 09, 2007
We're Back!
I came home to find some fairly great guesses in my comment section to where we were heading this weekend. We did have a taste of Australia as well as South America and Africa. I'm not so sure about France but we did see, hear and feel a side of Madagascar that was a bit frightening.

I've been wondering about Madagascar for over a year now. Trying to figure out why my Clustrmaps Map never shows any site traffic from there. However, now after meeting up with a few Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches, I think I know why. These have got to be the most evilest bugs of all. Who would want to actually live there?

Anyhoo, we left Friday night to go down to Jacksonville, Florida for a little weekend getaway. Our Fortieth birthdays are this week and we thought it a grand idea to go enjoy ourselves. We arrived at our hotel room just before dinner. We had a comp stay at the Hilton Embassy Suites, which I have to shamelessly plug right now as being the best hotel I've ever had the pleasure of staying in.

Even Squirt, by her own reasoning called the Hotel, "The God Place." With gorgeous marble floors, iron railings, gold trim and chandeliers this place is fit for a Princess. It's no wonder she thought Baby Jesus must live there.

We checked in and decided to have dinner and drinks and just go back up to our room to relax for the night. After all, it was a very long drive down, during rush hour no less. Dinner was great and the drinks fantastic and lucky for us, Squirt fell to sleep almost right away.

Time to see what's available on TV!

We shouldn't had been shocked, but the channels offered quite a wide array of PORN. Pay for porn of course, but I wasn't offended until we surfed upon this:

Here I am about to turn into a 40 year old MILF and up comes this discouraging scene. Older Broads Porn. What offended me was the price, $13.99 for 2 hours. A Double Feature or rather a "Buy One Get One Free" offer. The next porn video we browsed by offered this:

I never felt so cheapened in my life. $13.99 buys only 1 hour of Busty, blond Porn featuring the younger ladies. Seems there is a clearance sale on us old ladies. Being not thrilled over the possibility of a BOGO offer - I made Gon shut down that menu and we watched a Spongebob Squarepants Marathon instead.

We woke up the next morning. Well, okay... some of us did....

One of us is very picky about his morning cup of coffee and won't get vertical until he receives 98 cc's of caffeine. Although the Hotel was top notch, I never met a hotel that offered decent in room coffee. It was off to Starbucks so Gon could snort some espresso and soon he was upright and we had arrived... at the ZOO!!

I quickly dashed by the stork exhibit, fearing one may unload another child upon me.

...but the stalking storks were everywhere! All you had to do was look up and one might plop a packaged bundle or splat on your head.

Next, there were pink ones, real live pink flamingos. To think, there was not a trailer park in sight.

Over in Africa we met some mean looking vulture from hell, meat eating kinds of birds....

Trust me, you wouldn't want to step on this guy while strolling through the Savannah.

Then of course, lest I forget - those birds that must sit upon your head and own you

There were so many birds that after awhile we began to get hungry for lunch. Chicken seemed to be the choice of the day for me, as I opted to take the stairs down to the luncheon area.

Yet there are always those who feel they're never too old or fat assed to take the short way down.

As I nursed Gon back to his feet and tended to his scraped knees and forehead, Squirt ran off to the wishing well. Looks like any Daddy will do when it comes to asking for some money.

Now this next picture from South America may raise a few questioning eyebrows.

Seems Squirt was LIVID at this cactus. It didn't do anything but sit there, but as she walked by she screamed and threw a handful of rocks at it! It took me awhile to figure her out, but this is the first time she has ever seen a real live cactus outside of her Saturday Morning Cartoon shows.

She thought it would animate, get up and prick her in the backside!!!!

After lunch we strolled over to Africa and met this poor, sad and lonely giraffe.

Who of course, was just out to get a little attention and loving.

Next in line was the great African Elephants....

This girl seemed to be a bit perturbed at having her picture taken. She strolled on by as if to say, "I got something for you - Margie, and that pesky camera of yours."

(WARNING: Objectionable and offensive material ahead!)

She turned around right in front of me to show what appeared to be a dilating vagina!!!

A vagina that kept getting bigger and bigger and bigger. I had to keep snapping photos - for I seriously thought a baby elephant was about to be born by the size of things.

But no.... no cute, adorable pink baby elephants appeared. =O(

Instead I got a great shot and whiff of SHTEIN!! I remember thinking Dr. Chip would be so proud of me, so to Dr. Chip I dedicate my Elephant Episodes. =O)

(End of Offensive Material)

It seems halfway through the Zoo and Safari, Little Missy decided to complain that her feet were aching.

So home to the Hilton we went. As I opened up the sliding doors to stand out on the balcony of our Penthouse Suite - I noticed a few Zoo Pals followed us back home.

Good God Almighty, and you could bet - those white things in those there trees were ALL storks stalking me!! These birds stalked outside of our window for the entire stay. If I land pregnant over this weekend get away, y'all know why!

Saturday night we were off to a special birthday dinner . I'm sorry about the poor photo of me here, but you hadn't already figured it out - I'm the superstar photographer in this family.

Or rather the one with the big purse who can be laden down with bulky items. Items such as cameras, cell phones, hand sanitizer and a first aid kit.

Then back to Savannah, Georgia we drove home today, but not without first stopping at the Pecan Park Flea Market to look at junk, try our hand at cat-fishing and of course - a spin around the Go Kart Track.

That's it. A simple, relaxing weekend and a much needed break for us all.

I gotta say, it was great to go away and come back to our hotel to find Maids had been there and cleaned for us. So much so, I kidnapped a busty, young, blond one and stuffed her in my luggage.

I wonder what they eat?
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 6:23 PM  
  • At 3:29 AM, Blogger Deepak Gopi said…

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    You are awarded for a great blog.

  • At 6:12 AM, Blogger Carlos said…

    Sounds like you're having an awesome vacation. Love the photos and the detailed account. I'm ready to go on one now!

    Happy early birthday fellow Virgo!

  • At 7:57 AM, Blogger - PRACTiCAL CHiCK said…

    Happy early birthday!! Mine is this week, too. I am glad you had such a nice get away!

  • At 9:06 AM, Blogger LoryKC said…

    I am FROM Jacksonville (well, just outside in Orange Park) and so of course, had no inkling that anyone would plan a vacation there! ;)
    Glad to hear you had a good time--unless a watching quality porn was part of your plan, in which case, I guess you met with only mild success!

  • At 12:01 PM, Blogger bettygram said…

    I enjoyed the pictures. Waiting to see if the storks got you.

  • At 12:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…


    Lovie Hanlie

  • At 4:17 PM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    It was on one of those vacations where we saw the Canadian Storks that Pennie's birth followed. Of course we didn't stay in a marvelous hotel like you did.

  • At 10:17 PM, Blogger Flyinfox_SATX said…

    That was a nice vacation. Everyone else got a t-shirt or something...what did we get? Porn and Elephant turds...nice!

    All kidding aside, it looked like you had a fabulous time. And I am with Mr. I can not function until Coffee has been introduced directly to my veins.


  • At 12:33 PM, Blogger doctor chip said…



    WOO - HOOOO!!!!

    (cat-calls, wolf-whistles...)


    (more cat-calls, more wolf-whistles...)

    all kidding aside, sorry you didn't get to see a baby elephant being born.

    ah, but to capture an elephant Shteining on film?!?!?!

    oh, my. I only wish I'd been there myself. yup.

    say, that gives me an idea for my next video post...
    ... why, the Baltimore Zoo is just up the road a piece...




  • At 9:25 AM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said…

    I always see Jon with a loving smile on his face. He is a great man with a great family having a great time.

    Love the photographs, especially the one with the birds roosting on the heads.

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