Well, it's been over a week since I've blogged and things are all sorts of tangled, twisted and out of shape. First off, I've realized that I've been neglecting far more than this blog in the last few months. It really hit when we told our daughter about her adopted PopPop passing away. (Mr. IOH)
Squirt took it very well and understands much more than a five year old should. We've been preparing her for this time over the last few weeks. PopPop had skin cancer and many bandages on his face and shoulder. She knew these Boo-Boos hurt him and weren't going to get better. She stated she was sad and was going to miss him, but that she was also happy that PopPop was in Heaven with Jesus. He also has a brand new body and face. She also tossed in the notion that he has "WINGS" now and can fly with the Angels.
But then a few days later, she asked, "Can we make Grandmom go to heaven now too?"
It's no wonder. For the past few months I've been working all day and half the night. Granted, she does come over after school and stay awhile with me at the IOH's - but she has to be quiet and let's face it, this week Grandmom has been needing so much attention and thus far, inconsolable after loosing her husband of 62 years.
As things would have it, I have to step away this week for a few days. My own Grandfather in NJ passed away yesterday afternoon and the funeral is this Wednesday. It's so strange for him and Mr. IOH had so much in common and now they both die within a week of one another. My Grandmother is still living and they've been married for over 64 years.
So we're heading up the Old I-95 tomorrow evening to be with family. To be with each other. And most of all, I'm going to try and relax. Stop the stressin'. Go ahead and have some fun. Sing along with the radio for the long 12 hour drive and hug everyone just a little bit harder.
Have you ever had the opportunity to help a person kiss or embrace someone that they love?
Mrs. IOH came home from the Nursing Home last night. She's been there for a few weeks rehabilitating from her broken hip and surgery. She was so glad to be home, despite the bumping and crashing of the EMS transport team that brought her home. She was joking about it and finally settled down and was ready to see her husband.
Mr. IOH was watching TV in another room. He had been looking forward to her coming home all week and especially all day. The Hospice bath lady came out earlier and we helped him get handsome'fied. We combed his hair just right, put his teeth in and even gave him a spritz of his Old Spice so he can put on the charm to his wife of 60 years.
I wheeled him in to see her and the entire room lit up. He grabbed her hand and must have kissed it 20 times. His voice was barely audible as he had somewhat of a sore throat the day before but he was clearly saying he loved and missed her. He tried to stand up, but couldn't for he's been so weak lately. I helped him up anyway so he could lean over and kiss his beautiful wife upon her forehead.
Then he sat down and they held hands for a good 20 minutes. They were so happy to be home together again. Then soon it was time to get ready for bed.
Off each went into their separate rooms. The Flintstone single beds setup wouldn't work, for the newly needed hospital beds they required were both too wide and long to comfortably fit in a shared room. Mrs. IOH settled into her nighttime routine and bed first. Soon falling asleep soundly, happy to be back home in her own bed.
Mr. IOH came next. The usual routine. Bathroom, teeth, wash face and hands and soon off with the slippers and jumping in the sack. He said his prayers and as always prayed for the health and welfare of his wife and daughter. As usual never for a moment, thinking to pray for himself.
As the head of his hospital bed went down, while he was being tucked into the covers - he fell asleep quickly. Perhaps a little too quickly, for just in that very moment - Heaven had opened and called Mr. IOH home.
God bless him. Here I thought I was helping him to welcome his lovely wife home. Never in a million years imagining I was helping him to kiss her goodbye.
-Many Christians believe it's necessary to be "born again" in order to go to heaven. Others -- Christian and other faiths-- don't wholly support that but do believe that spiritual awakening has to occur to fully understand one's faith.
They can be intense experiences. In this week leading up to Easter, anyone dare to share?
I was born again at the age of 12. Although raised in church and by a wonderful Christian Mother, the actual experience didn't happen at Confirmation nor even in church itself. I knew the story and went through all the motions with my Sunday School classmates in front of the congregation - but my heart wasn't in it then.
No, it happened late one evening as a scared, confused and emotional twelve-year-old tween was laying in bed praying for an ounce of hope. There are too many factors to mention here, so to make a long story short - I truly found in my heart a way to be re-born and anew.
Now, just because one is "born again" doesn't mean they continue life without sin or making huge mistakes. For me it was the awareness of conscious and having a higher authority to answer to. Such as those many times I did misbehave behind my parents back and never was caught.
Like many, I made spur of the moment decisions and acted on selfish desires without thinking of the costs. Thankfully, having been born again allowed me to focus after the fact. To apologize to the Lord and readjust my behaviors. In other words, I learned a lesson after each goof.
Today I'm 28 years old in Christ. During these years there has been a number of times when I had an epiphany or spiritual awakening. Some have been triggered by simple events and some initiated by tragedy. Each seemingly giving me an insight or direction within my own life.
For me, getting to heaven isn't earned - it's the gift of life experienced. Like a little girl in her Grandmother's attic dressing up in an old wedding dress 12 sizes too big...
Daylight savings time feels so wrong and messes with all of my senses. Alarm clocks are ineffective for me and I no longer use one. I can only be awakened by a large variety of stimulants. From the sunlight shining through my bedroom window and the sounds of birds singing and the doggy door flapping.
The rumble of my neighbor's diesel truck tells me that I have yet another hour to snuggle under the covers. Yet the sound of his one legged rooster cock-a-doodle-doing - doesn't mean shit. Nope, I swear sometimes that SOB howls at the moon all night and sleeps during day.
Nevertheless, my clock now reads 3:30pm and I'm still in bed with my pajamas on. Something in my inner nature knows that a whole entire hour was snagged from me overnight. I despise the frustration and pressure that is now placed upon me to be on time this coming week.
I'm now going to be late for everything, I just know it.
Fast Food From the God Box: 8 PHILOSOPHY QUESTIONS
1. How do you know anything really exists?
-Unless I'm under the influence of cough syrup, I trust my five senses. Granted, some things require a second glance or a follow up sniff for assurance.
2. What is the essence of being human?
-I believe it is our emotions. The ability to love and care for another. To exhibit genuine feelings of compassion or adoration. Also the fact that most of us have morals and think of how our actions would effect others. We tend to intellectually behave ourselves.
3. If a tree falls in the forest, and there's no one there to hear it, does it make a sound?
-Of course! In fact it makes many sounds such as cracklings, moaning and a great big whoosh.
4. How do you know you're not just a brain in a vat, hooked up to a computer simulation of life?
-Because my brain is more like a hunk of scrapple popping away in a frying pan over high heat.
5. Can our minds exist separately from our bodies?
-I believe we all have a soul. A spirit if you may, that has a will to exist and can exist beyond the physical realm of a blob of gray matter.
6. Is there a God?
-Yes. When I see how massive, awesome and incredible the universe is compared to how tiny we are - I am humbled. Out of the millions of stars, planets and universe this one called Earth just so happened to be in just the right distance from the sun and have just the right elements for life. Life so beautiful and in so many different forms. In this magnitude alone - I feel blessed. I feel like I'm just a tiny part of a small-in-size yet magnificent miracle.
7. What is the nature of Knowledge?
8. What is the meaning of life?
-I don't know. You'll have to ask Dr. John because I have a feeling he's holding out on telling us. But seriously, why do we have life? Perhaps because life has a will. A will that was exercised by a desire or need. It's all up to the individual whether he or she believes they exist because they were "meant to be."
Let's see now. Should I finish up some of my blog post drafts and share with you the many creative ways to change an adult in a diaper? How to get a sick and elderly person to eat when they don't want to eat anymore? Maybe I should tell you all about the cat?
It's been a rough week and this week I'm sure won't be much easier. I arrived back to work Monday morning after a relaxing weekend off. Only to find Mrs. IOH sitting there in a chair confused, with her tongue hanging out and her eyes bugged out like we've all seen in that dreaded home video of Terry Shiavo.
The prescription bottle that arrived from the drugstore last Friday contained Haldol. The instructions were simple yet somehow, poor Mrs. IOH was overdosed and was suffering from a condition called tardive dyskinesia.
That entire day she was detoxing and it was so cruel and so uncool. In some cases tardive dyskinesia can be irreversible, but thankfully by Tuesday morning Mrs. IOH was returning to normal with only a few relapses of the symptom. Easily combated after administering some simple Benedryl.
She was back to her normal self come Wednesday night and all set to rumble and fight over one of her nighttime caretakers that she doesn't seem to like. She managed to throw such a wonderful tantrum that when she went to sit down and the chair rolled back from underneath her. Leaving her with a broken hip.
Nobody deserves to be subjected to such a terrible week. I wish I could turn back time and do whatever possible to prevent all of this from happening.