Wednesday, February 07, 2007
If your Mother doesn't love you... who will?
Dear Margaret: My Mom hates me. She loves me because I am her kid and all and if I died she would probably cry but she doesn't understand me. Whenever I do go to her with a problem she tells me that I am over reacting and that my emotions are all just bullshit. I feel like I should run away or kill myself. If your Mother doesn't love you... who will? -Cynthia in MN

Listen Kiddo, you're Momma doesn't hate you. She may hate the things you do or the fact there are things you do not do or forget to do. She may even hate to see you upset over a problem or the fact you are going through a dramatic ordeal; but I sincerely doubt that she hates you.

I remember driving my Mom bonkers when I was a teen and you know what, it's not that she didn't understand me - it was the fact that I didn't understand myself or what I was going through. I didn't know for sure that certain things would blow over or end up alright in the long run. I never was a teenager before, that was my first run in with certain situations and trust me, they were some really screwed up situations.

Looking back now, Mom was mostly right. She was a teenager before and now I dread the day when I have to go through the same fighting and arguing with my own daughter. It isn't easy being a teenager and it isn't easy being the parent of a teenager either.

Now, you didn't say your Mom was insane or anything so I'm hoping she's not going to kill you or beat you senseless. Either way, it seems that at this time in your life you are at odds with her more often than not. That being the case, go adopt a Mom. Find a mature adult that you can come to or call with issues. Just in case. Maybe a favorite Aunt, Grandmother, your Father, older sister or a Mother of a friend who seems to have her head on straight.

Even grown-ups when they are diagnosed with an illness or injury, seek out second opinions. We even find times when we need to seek out lawyers to represent us when we land ourselves in stinks. So just in case you do land yourself in a stink and feel you can't go to your Mom first - have someone on hand to go to. Someone who will maturely help guide you or help you come to your Mom with a serious issue.

As for wanting to run away or kill yourself, please go speak with a school nurse or counselor. That is what they are there for and you can trust them. If they think you are in danger they will help save you. They'll help you cope with issues, big or small. They are pretty cool too, and won't call your Mom and tell her stuff behind your back. If you need help they can help you. Defend you if you have to face your Mother with a situation and you don't want to go it alone.

Hang in there. Going off to college or off on your own, isn't too far off. You'll have a whole entire, exciting world before you soon and if all goes well, a wonderful Mom who you will love to come home to. Make sure to bring lots of laundry! Sure, she'll bitch a fit but you know what? There is a part inside of all Moms that love to be there whenever their grown up children need them. -Margie

(Do you have issues? If so write in and vent here! All personal information is kept confidential and questions may be edited to exclude identifiable information. All subject matter accepted from product issues, personal issues, work issues and even issues with this here web log!)


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:38 AM  
  • At 12:39 PM, Blogger Georgia Peach said…

    Right on, Miz Margie, that is excellent advice from someone who has been there. I wish I listened to my Mom more often but I was a "Know it All" back then. I hope this teenage girl gives her Mom another chance to listen. It is all in the delivery of the subject more than the content some times.
    Good luck, sweet girl, with the rest of your life.

  • At 12:49 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey i know how you feel, but ypur really lucky you have your mother because my mother really don't want me i was kicked out the house at 15 and now im 17 i miss my mother and mayb she just stressed but dont kill urself thats not good.. just talk to your mother tell her how you feel..

  • At 10:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    you know that reallu helped .. i was wondering just about the same thing she was except i was trying to find some where to go when i came across this .. no joke. i hope it saves more people than just me i just wish mothers would pick up n the little things they say to there daughers.. it would make the world an eaiser place.
    but on a lighter note thanks a lot your the best and you probably saved my life . as well as a couple of others

  • At 6:46 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Well... all I can say is your not the only one that feels this way. I understand its hard being a mother, but the things you say to your daughter can affect their lives. Its a difficult time for us now, why do you have to make it all worse?

  • At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my mum dosent love me thats why i ran away i dont ever wanna see her again

  • At 2:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    my mum dont love me thats why i ran away...

  • At 11:43 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    this is just so good advice like thankyou sooo much im going through the same thing but this has really inspired me thankyou��

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