Friday, August 04, 2006
Express Check Out
Once upon a long time ago I worked as a cashier for Wal-mart and enjoyed secretly the private situations of my many customers. It helped the hours go by and made my job a little more interesting.

My favorite customers would have to be the "one product" purchasers in the express check out line. Wal-Mart is a huge thing of a store and I must admire anyone who can fight the parking lot, rush in and out and keep their focus only on the one thing that they came for.

For example you have the college aged geeky guy on a late Friday night rushing through with one roll of toilet paper. Making me wonder if it was him that was brewing a big one and withholding release until he ran to the store for wipe material. My imagination gets the better of me and I swallow a giggle as I think about the possibility of his room-mate or girlfriend STILL sitting on the loo. Anxiously awaiting the return of this guy with the much needed product. Amazingly enough exactly a week later he's back buying another single roll. I half want to tell the guy, "Plan ahead Dude! Buy the four pack!"

Behind this guy comes an empty handed long-haired dude wearing sunglasses at 10pm. "A pack of Job 1.25 rolling papers please?" The sunglasses must be so I can't make eye to eye contact with him. He's afraid I may figure out his plans! Come on Stoner Dude, nobody under the age of let's say 70, rolls their own tobacco anymore. You scored a bag of weed, who are you trying to kid here?

Next in line comes the middle aged family guy. Except he has that nervous twinge about him as if he has shoplifted something. I look down on the belt and there in all it's glory is a feminine protection product. Now I have to respect a guy who goes out and gets these for the wife. However; I am laughing at you. Not because your manlyhood has been corrupted in the deed but because of the size of the product. She's not bleeding to death my goodness! She is guaranteed to give you hell when you come home with these Super-Maxi 747 landing strips.

Finally comes the well dressed young man with the 3-pack of "Ribbed for her pleasure" Trojans. He is happy, bouncing and full of hope and joy. No flowers, no jewelry and not even a pack of minty fresh gum. He is simply counting on getting lucky that night and the smile on his face tells all!

So guys, when you do shop - remember your cashier knows all, and YES we are laughing at you!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:51 AM  
  • At 11:12 AM, Blogger Judy said…

    Good morning. What a funny post. My daughter is a cashier at our local WalMart and comes home with some funny stories as well. They will probably end up in a book sometime, the way I go!

    I had popped in to check out your edition of "The Friday Feast", but got distracted! Thanks for the laugh this morning... now off to check out the feast!

  • At 11:33 AM, Anonymous robin said…

    Oh yes...for I laughed at the same people while working at the BX..

  • At 12:18 PM, Anonymous Suzy said…

    This was too funny! I often have wondered what the cashiers think of some of my own I know they are doing what I thought they were doing....laughin' on the inside!

    Thanks for the morning laugh!

  • At 7:16 PM, Blogger cdorsey said…

    This is one post that actually had me laughing out loud, at home alone, with just the two dogs licking know and I'm laughing outloud.

    Thanks for a great end to what had been a very normal Friday.


  • At 9:07 AM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    That's why I let my wife do the check out thing.
    I put in a link to your blog this morning so I can visit without having to type in all that stuff.

  • At 11:54 AM, Anonymous wrigley said…

    i never knew being a cashier is so much fun! haha! such funny customers.

    my hubby has no issues buying feminine pads for me. and he gets the kind i like.

  • At 6:46 AM, Blogger Marianne Arkins said…

    How funny! It must be a kick to watch this.

    I can remember trying to cover embarrassing purchases as a teen with something "cool". I bought my mom a Neil Diamond album (yes, vinyl, yes I'm old) and covered by also buying Def Leppard or Pat Benetar or someone... I can still remember the cashier giving me grief.

    The things we do for our moms. I'm telling you.

    Great post!

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