Thursday, July 19, 2007
Sperm Germs
How did your parents first explain the birds and the bees to you? My Mother terrorized me with her "Sperm Germ" theory and it worked.

Basically boys had sperm germs, much like cold germs. You can't see 'em and they could be anywhere. Just as it is easy to catch a cold, I could catch myself pregnant or very sick with an STD if I wasn't very, very careful.

To hear Momma tell it, all boys were infested with these cootie like critters. They can be found in their underwear, on their hands and sometimes left behind where they may touch. So I was ALWAYS to wash my hands before and after anything possible. I could get pregnant if any of these germs found their way in me - from any body opening and at any time.

I'm a severe Spermophobe, even until this day. I never go out on the town without wearing my drawers and I keep a safe distance from all men. God forbid, one of those critters catches a breeze and comes home with me. Fully stocked with Purex, Lysol and Listerine.

However, as I sit here writing this I'm still suffering from a gosh darn chest cold.

Go figure. =O(

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:05 PM  
4 Comments:
  • At 11:59 PM, Blogger Flyinfox_SATX said…

    Reminds me of the Woody Allen Movie, "Everything You Wanted to Know About Sex, but Were Too Afraid To Ask." The opening scene is of a bunch of guys runing to th right in white suits and then Woody Allen running back towards them screaming, " Go Back! Go Back! Its a blowjob!"

    ROTFLMAO!

    Flyinfox_SATX

     
  • At 7:09 PM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    Cold germs are different and harder to control.

     
  • At 1:52 AM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said…

    I wish someone had sat me down and told me about what was to come re: sex.

     
  • At 12:26 AM, Anonymous Colonel Sanders said…

    Medula Oblongata!

    Medula Oblongata!

    Medula Oblongata!

     
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