Saturday, March 10, 2007
Keyword Kaos: "Pig Sperm in Hawaiian Punch"
For crying out loud already! "Pig Sperm in Hawaiian Punch" was the number one search term for this blog this week. Where do people come up with such a thing? I guess that leaves me no other choice than to get all Snopes up over this myth and bust it out of my keyword search once and for all.

According to the Chicago Rabbinical Council Hawaiian Punch is Kosher! Sure the Red Food Dye will send your children through the roof with hyperactivity and the sugar content is bound to put diabetics into a coma. But you can be certain and sure that according to strict Jewish dietary conditions over thousands of years, there is no and will be no Piggily Wigglies swimming in your fruit punch. I promise.

Now I can't say the same for certain Hair products that extract the proteins of pig sperm to condition and treat dry and damaged hair. Piggy by-product emulsifiers can be also found in your hand lotions, bar soaps and tube of Chap Stick. When The Wall Street Journal reports on the market prices of Pork Bellies, you didn't really believe they were talking about investments in your ordinary bag of Pork Rinds, did you?

As cows get milked so are many male swine across this great nation of ours. The collection of semen is Dirty Job worthy of a Discovery Channel's Mike Row episode. I sure wouldn't want to do it. Another urban legend that needs to be busted is that piggies have 20 minute orgasms. No, but they do have an interesting four phase ejaculation that lasts anywhere between 5-10 minutes. Yielding an entire cup of the coveted swine juice each time to later be incorporated into your favorite age defying Oil of Olay.

Yup, somewhere is a huge boar named Olay and he doesn't mind one iota giving a little love to the cause of beauty. It's the least he can do and he's happier than a pig in mud to go to work each day. It's a dirty job but somebody has to do it.

Now that we can safely drink Hawaiian Punch again, here are my other Keyword terms for the week:

- When god blesses you you have no sorry with it
- questions for how well do you know your mate
- sniffing panties
- what kind of weather georgia have
- miss potty pants
- dominant wife
- what supplies do you need to do,how to get power from a potato.
- nostradamus' hair dye recipe
- jumbo shells stuffed with shrimp
- discourage mockingbird
- i'm fifty and i still have blackheads
- watermelon festival, georgia, rind county
- making a godbox
- singapore penis pump banned
- smell checker
- megamillion lottery blog
- what's up pussycat tom jones play
- found daughter's boyfriend in closet what to do
- wonder pets fly boat
- hurricane cathrina
- what does it mean to tie a red bandana to a car rear view mirror
- virgo physical traits.

Labels:

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 4:47 PM  
9 Comments:
  • At 8:21 PM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    zThat was more than I ever, ever wanted to know about pig sperm.

     
  • At 12:55 AM, Blogger Deepak Gopi said…

    :)good day

     
  • At 12:23 PM, Blogger doctor chip said…

    got shtein?

    uhhh...

    ... "Pig Sperm in Hawaiian Punch"...

    - well, that was me.

    yup. but, hey, it was an accident, though, you know it?

    I was typing in "Mix Pix Awards", and the other came up. I don't have any idea why.

    that's really, really what happened.

    honest.

    B-0

    ---------

     
  • At 2:46 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    Sometime I'll scan my childhood photo album and share a photo of me and my must have "Punchie" Pillow. (Was offered Free with Hawaiian Punch Labels.)

    Messin' with Punchie is such a deep, rooted emotional issue with me. It's so hard to describe.

    But I forgive you Dr. Chip. =O)

     
  • At 9:37 AM, Blogger Judy said…

    I feel left out. I always have such BORING search words... things like "judy"... go figure!

     
  • At 9:58 AM, Blogger Michael said…

    Oh my..........

     
  • At 7:12 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Fellow Blogspot blogger, Found a cool new tool for our blogs... www.widgetmate.com It helps get latest news for our keywords directly on to our blog.

     
  • At 1:03 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

     
  • At 12:49 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Good fill someone in on and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you as your information.

     
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