Sunday, December 23, 2007
The Bergermeister Meisterberger Files (Episode VII)
To Bergermeister Meisterberger the Christmas Spirit found in Sombertown's outlying suburban Trailer Parks is the most deplorable.

Not only because they look like a Super Walmart exploded all over the place, but because their Christmas decor remains in place throughout the entire year.

Surely, trailer parks are the perfect place to uncover some atrocious illegalities. In the middle of the night on a top secret mission deemed "Operation Grinch" - Bergermeister sent his guards down to raid the mobile homes.

Besides the danger of electrocution this was indeed a dangerous mission. They may be Rednecks but by all means that doesn't make them stupid. They cleverly secured their tin can homes with various security and intimidation measures.

Basset Hounds bayed and the guards hadn't a chance in frozen hell to escape the view of the wrong end of a rifle. Security cameras were disguised in the most unlikely of places.

Yes, the mission was doomed from the start. There was no way in hell nor high water that Bergermeister's minion army could uncover illegal Christmas toys hiding under their booby trapped artificial Christmas trees.

Christmas trees that cleverly disguised their weapons of mass destruction such as bottle bombs...

..and drums of well... let us just say you wouldn't want to know.

The mission, wasn't a complete failure. Perhaps it was the Jack Daniels but early in the morning as the sun began to rise, the Bergermeister Troops sent in Donner the undercover reindeer to snoop through Bubba's backpack.

BUSTED! There among the Jack Links Beef Jerky and can of Skoal they found Bo the Huntin' Dawg's Roadkill squeaky toy.

Sorry Bo, but this qualifies as a certain Toy hereby declared Illegal, immoral, unlawful by the Bergermeister. Since you were found with such a toy in your possession you shall be placed on a leash and thrown in the pound!

Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 5:10 PM  
  • At 6:09 PM, Blogger krystyna said…

    Hi Margaret!
    Your Christmasses posts and photos are beautifuly unconventional and funny. I really enjoyed my time being here.

    My main blog is "Evolve your ...".

    I envite you to my birthday party and take Award as a best friend.

  • At 6:22 PM, Blogger Pribek said…

    I should have known something was up when I saw, "because they look like a Super Walmart exploded all over the place". That's a clever line. Perhaps, a bit too clever.

    I must say that the photos, at first glance, are convincing as well. They all fit in place. Santa with sidecar, sawhorse, straw bail reindeer, makes sense. The garish light displays, tree in the inflatable boat, beer can tree, lit keg pyramid, passed out deer hunter, basset Santa; it all works.

    Like I said, they all fit into place. All except for one, that is.

    I'm afraid you went just a little too far. Your cover is blown. You know too much my friend.

    "How did yo figure it out", you ask?

    Well, let's just say, I've spent a good deal of time in the trailer parks of this great land. I know the people. I know their customs.

    "Where did I go wrong", you ask?

    One of those pictures doesn't fit. Oh, they are all funny and they all accurately portray the holiday trailer park condition. But, one of those photos is an inside job.

    I speak, as you well know, of the photo of the beer can sporting, binocular wearing, butt huffing buck. This is not a photo obtained by cajolery or an undercover operative. This is a picture that is only possible from one who is close to the source. I am speaking, of course, of one who is, or is in close association with, the "trailer park people".

    I have to hand it to you. You almost pulled it off. But, your desire for wit, your quest for holiday yuks, was, in the end, your downfall. You could not resist the lure of laughter.

    And because of that, you are exposed.

  • At 6:26 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    Oh crap, Leroy really does know everyone. =OP

  • At 8:05 PM, Blogger Woozie said…

    I vote urine being in the barrels.

  • At 12:16 PM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    Despite the content of today's blog I just stopped by to wish you a Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year. I will be too busy tomorrow.

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