| Monday, April 23, 2007 |
| Mommy Blog Monday: "Spankings" |
 My Mother hardly ever spanked me. Dad frequently beat the shit of of me. The discipline I received was either too hot or too cold - yet neither effective. See, there are three stages that a kid goes through when being disciplined. With the first few whacks a kid gets upset and angry.
Then there is the second stage. When a kid realizes they pissed their parents off and may say things like "I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. I promise. Please stop." My advice to parents who choose to spank would be to stop at this stage. Stop and talk with your child about what he/she had done and reach an understanding on an appropriate punishment. Whether that be time out, grounding or an extra chore.
Be wary of and tread not forward into the third stage. Believe it or not, a kid gets upset and very angry when a spanking goes too far. I won't mention what can go through a kids mind but trust me, they won't respect you. Not now nor 30 years later - as in my case today.
After the beatings I was forced to endure, I really put a lot of thought into how I would go about punishing our daughter. Up until recently a simple reprimand or time out would work very well. She is usually such a good little girl and has always listened and minded me. However, now she's testing us.
Yep, our little princess now has a little attitude. She's pushing, testing limits and sometimes really towing the line. The talking back, disrespect and blatantly refusing to listen to limits or requests is getting way out of control. I can't help but think, if I don't nip this now - what in the world am I going to go through when she's a teenager. Yikes.
It kills me to do it, but I know that I have to. Gosh, who would have imagined that "This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you" was actually a true statement. I used to think to myself, "Yeah, right. This is my heiny that is hurting." But it has to be done, because I love Squirt. I can't have her running off the front deck. Running out in the street. Not listening to rules that keep her safe.
It is because I love her and never because of anger. It is with tears of a Mother's love that I now write her name on the little wooden paddle that has long lost it's rubber band and ball. Hanging it up, out of reach but always in sight. Always reminding me to use it mercifully to correct - never to break - the spirit of a little one.Labels: Mommy Blog Monday |
Stumble It!
.......posted by Margaret @ 10:05 PM   |
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| 13 Comments: |
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I always got spanked with the bare hand. Needless to say, I wasn't bad very often :)
Good advice. But if you ground your kids, make sure there's no Xbox, TV, phone, computer, etc in there. Otherwise it's a 'confined vacation'.
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We have a paddle, but I think I've only used it once. Usually a bare hand does the trick around here. We also came up with a new discipline. Every time they are told to do something or to stop doing something more than once, we subtract 15 minutes from their bedtime. Matter of fact, one is going to bed at 8:30 and one at 8:45.
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Good luck Margie. No owners manauals with kids, and there are so many models. :-)
I personally think there's nothing wrong with a little properly applied corporal punishment. The key phrase is "properly applied."
It ain't easy no matter how you slice it.
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I've wrestled with this one, too. I have not spanked my children much and now wonder if I missed my "window." (They are 8 and 6 now!) Maybe with this next one...
I was spanked but not beaten as a child and while I was not terrified of my parents, I was a little afraid at times (when I knew I'd done something wrong, of course!) While my kids are pretty great kids--they do test limits often and as I told my hubbie, they are simply not afraid of me! While he considers that a good thing, I think I'd like them to have just a little fear!
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Funny, I was just thinking about this very topic yesterday. I'm sure you're doing very well in the disapline/paddle department.
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Miz Margie, I got my last spanking from my mom, with a belt, when I was 15 on my bare legs. I told her it didn't hurt and she got tired before I did. She never bothered me again. I had been on my front porch talking to the next door neighbor boy, age 16, and she did not like it. She told me to come inside and I told her in a minute, please. When I walked in the door and got a drink of water at the sink, she came in and starting whacking me. I was too old and too wise and too stubborn. She finally realized I was too big to spank. We got along fairly well after that one.
My Dad was a different story. He would get drunk, raise hell, and start slapping my mom, me, my little brothers and sisters since I could remember. I was 17 the last time he slapped me around for absolutely no reason. Nada. When I
came out of my temporary insanity moment, he was nearly dead in a headlock I had on him. It took 3 people to pull me off of him. He could not talk or eat for 2 days! He NEVER tried that one on me again. I was a good kid and hardworking and there was no damn reason for his drunken rages! I spanked my kids with my hand and only when they absolutely needed it. I had to watch myself because of the way I was raised. I spanked my little granddaughter once and she is as stubborn as I was long ago. I take away the WI, her dolls, or her allowance like her mom and/or send her to her room. She gets the message. I am like her Dad and she minds him. He does not spank except once or twice on her bottom with his hand. Sorry, to ramble on but this is a subject you and I know all about when it goes from discipline to beating for pleasure or domination. I am little but I am loud, I am poor but I am proud. My motto fits me like Little Jimmy Dickens' song! Love ya, GA Peach
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I spanked a few times, and I'm sorry that I did. IMO there is always another way although it might be hard to see at the time. I wish you the best.
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I must disagree with you on "this is going to hurt me more than you".
I think this is very harsh and just a way for poor parents to justify hurting their children. I would never spank my children and I think taht it's wrong, other punishments such as chores, removal of privalages are much less likely to harm a relationship between child an parent.
One of my friends was spanked all through her childhood, and as a result has'nt spoken to her parents since she was 17.
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I know many say spank with your hand, that its more then enough. This is true, however I will never spank with the hand, why...? Hands are for holding and loving and care for my child, and not to punish with. So for this reason and only this reason I perfer to use something light that has a sting thats equal to my hand. Let the slipper I use be the focus of the spanking and be feared...and not my hand with which I reach out to love and comfort with.
Who am I? Just a father that only spanks when there is no other way around things, and when I do, its a spanking with love and caring and not of anger.
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I always got spanked with the bare hand. Needless to say, I wasn't bad very often :)
Good advice. But if you ground your kids, make sure there's no Xbox, TV, phone, computer, etc in there. Otherwise it's a 'confined vacation'.