Tuesday, September 05, 2006
The Watermelon Man
Yesterday Woozie asked in my comment section, "What do you think of the watermelon man?"

I had to think about it over night and have come to the conclusion that I have issues over the Watermelon Man. Just look at the shirt he is wearing. I've been up and down the entire eastern seaboard and I ain't ever seen a dude dressing down with bright colored fruit. I may spy a dude on the boardwalk wearing a Hawaiian Shirt and flip flops, but you can be certain there isn't even as much as a yellow Pineapple spoiling the threads.

Doesn't matter if it is a white man, black man, yellow man or gay man. Fruit left the fashion scene 30 years ago along with polyester and the final episode of M*A*S*H. Of course there is always the exception to the rule. Dudes over the age of 65 may adorn fruit but only because their wives dress 'em up to match their own outfits.

Next check out the Watermelon Man's hat. It may appear to be a brightly colored fruity fedora but upon closer inspection I see that it is made out of fur. You know what that means don't 'ya? He's a Commie.

I also have issues with the entire watermelon stereotype. I live in Georgia where the biggest watermelons on the vine are grown. I've seen the Rind County Watermelon Festival in late July and the Watermelon Man has never attended. Seriously, watch this video and see if you can spot him or any of his relatives:

To conclude, this Watermelon Man is a phony wannabe poser. It is painfully obvious that the real Watermelon Man is a White Man, over age 65 and of Russian decent. In fact, I'm fairly certain he may even be a distant relative of Santa Claus.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 2:57 PM  
  • At 3:39 PM, Blogger NMOTB said…

    Hi! Ok, without laughing at me, please tell me what or who is a "watermelon man"? I am confused, has it got something to do with the type of clothes he wears?

  • At 4:43 PM, Blogger Woozie said…

    Yep. I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I saw the black guy in thew watermelon threads. Even though I didn't see him in the video, it's still funny.

  • At 4:58 PM, Blogger Scaramouche Jones said…

    Santa Claus is from Barbados

  • At 5:27 PM, Blogger Margaret said…

    Laughing at NMOTB - The Watermelon Man is Woozie's profile Icon which is supposed to represent Woozie's perception of self. This post is about who I perceive Woozie to really be. =O)

    Woozie: Two words, "FUR HAT" He's a Commie, just look at him!

    Scaramouche my Man: I knew St. Nick had something to do with Global Warming. Just wait unti I see his fat ass in the mall this December!!

  • At 6:51 PM, Blogger Woozie said…

    I like to think it's one of those fuzzy hats you get at the county fair and then throw away 1 week later...

    And it doesn't really represent me, I just thought it was hilarious and was wondering if anyone would pick up on it. Either people don't care to comment on it or they don't get it.

  • At 9:02 PM, Blogger drëâmè® said…

    I didn't realize the guy had a watermelon themed outfit until now... although I'd seen woozie around... once again proving that I'm a tad bit slow when it comes to close scrutiny of things.


  • At 10:25 PM, Blogger Butchieboy said…

    That video hurt my soul.

  • At 10:52 PM, Blogger R2K said…

    That video made me want to pour acid on my eyes.

  • At 10:52 PM, Blogger R2K said…

    But in a good way.

  • At 9:17 AM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said…

    He looks black?

  • At 2:01 PM, Blogger KC said…

    I can't view videos while I'm at work, so I'll have to check back later when I get home. Thanks for stopping by my blog today! I appreciate your comment about my son.

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