Dear Mix: "I am 24 and living with my boyfriend who has custody of his 2 daughters ages 6 and 9. This weekend I told them if they cleaned up their room I would take them to the beach. They didn't but complained to their maternal grandmother over the phone last night that they had to stay home all weekend. This morning the mother and grandmother came by and cursed me out because of it. I am so angry and I don't know what to do. Any advice?" Samantha in CA
The first words that sound the alarm bell is you're "living with your boyfriend". That tells me you are only the girlfriend and as long as the situation remains this way you may not ever be taken seriously or respected. This will remain the prospective towards you from your boyfriend's children and other's within his life. Even if or when you become a permanent fixture in this family, as wife or step-mother you will still have a long, hard road to gain the respect you deserve.
You have to make a stand and a hard one. Speak to your boyfriend privately and discuss your feelings and concerns in this matter. Trying to encourage the girls to clean their room and to be responsible was a very good thing for you to do - however, if you are undermined by their Mom and Granny, you need a stronger supporter such as your boyfriend to have your back.
Speak to your boyfriend, establish and agree on your role in this family situation and have him vow to support and defend your choices to his girls and to others. If he can't do that, you need to leave now while you are young and the getting is good! Now is the time to decide your place and your future and this is the perfect opportunity. Good luck! -Mix
Dear Mix: "I am 24 and living with my boyfriend who has custody of his 2 daughters ages 6 and 9. This weekend I told them if they cleaned up their room I would take them to the beach. They didn't but complained to their maternal grandmother over the phone last night that they had to stay home all weekend. This morning the mother and grandmother came by and cursed me out because of it. I am so angry and I don't know what to do. Any advice?" Samantha in CA
