Monday, October 08, 2007
Bringing home the Bacon
As wife, mother to 1 human child, 2 Basset Hounds, 1 cat and a caged Guinea Pig who squeals clear from the other end of the house whenever I open the fridge - it is clear to me who they believe is the Alpha Female around here.

I tripped over the dog last week and in frustration shouted something to the tune of, "Why are you always under my feet? Are you waiting for kibbles to fall from my a$$ or what?"

His doggy answer was a clear resounding, "Yes."

So, what is up with all of this talk about it being the men who bring home the bacon?

I've watched the National Geographic channel as well as some Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom episodes and 9 times out of 10 it is the female who brings home food to the family. Aren't we really naturally and genetically programmed to look towards the Alpha Female for Kibbles to fall from her a$$?

Here the Alpha Male, my husband; is noted as King of the Pride. He does provide security, including financial security but he also provides oversight, approval and/or disapproval. Sure he leaves the house each day for work or college but according to the basic critters here in this household, he doesn't bring home any fresh meat.

The Guinea pig squeals when the Alpha Male opens the fridge to grab a cold beer, but all in vain. The Alpha Male is not programmed to recognize the Piggy's squeal as a plea of, "Hey, while you're in there grab me a carrot or stalk of celery please."

Then there is my daughter, who is in training to be an Alpha Female someday. She's learned to recognize the Piggy squeal for a carrot. She now knows why the dogs choose to sit under her chair at the dinner table in hopes that a kibble will fall from her a$$ too. She also is aware of the frustration of baking some Nestle' Tollhouse cookies and having Daddy swipe six of them, hot and fresh from the oven.

At her young age she knows the details of planning a weekly meal menu and subsequent grocery list. The Kroger supermarket is her domain for she can show anyone where an item can be found.

It is after the shopping trip when our pack is delighted to see my SUV back into our driveway. They know, that when I lift the back hatch - bags upon bags of Kibbles will fall out of it's a$$ too. Poor Piggy who being caged misses the glorious arrival of a bountiful grocery kill. Although he soon squeals in anticipation as we put the groceries away and place the veggies the crisper drawer.

Top all of this off with the preparation of three human meals per day, the scraping of leftovers into the dogs bowl, the baking of cookies, the maker of various beverages - it is plainly clear on whom naturally provides a bountiful supply of kibbles.

So, tell me again - what is up with all of this talk about it being the men who bring home the bacon?


Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 10:08 AM  
  • At 12:25 PM, Blogger Jill said…

    I agree. Maybe we need to get a copy of an old Peggy Lee song "I'm a woman, w-o-m-a-n" and play it loud. She explained it very wel how she could bring home the bacon, fry it up in the pan and in general do more in less time than any man.

  • At 4:16 AM, Blogger ela zawrat said…

    Best to the Alpha Female! It's really a good way to put it. I haven't realized that I'm one of them too...
    hugs from Alpha

  • At 6:36 AM, Blogger Carlos said…

    You go with your bad self, Superwoman! ;-)

  • At 4:01 PM, Blogger Flyinfox_SATX said…

    I am a divorced Dad. I have gotten custody of the younglings. I am not just the Alpha Male...I am all there is. No recognition? No food...simple as that.

    So I feel that there are exceptions to every rule.


  • At 6:44 PM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    I have always recognized the superior role of women in keeping us fed. Withoiut Betty I and the dog would both starve.

  • At 7:08 AM, Blogger Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines said…

    There's not much excuse for men wanting to be waited on by women.

    All men should make a point to know how to:

    1. Cook. A lot of stuff; a real variety. Fresh seafood, veges, fruits, meat and chicken. Know how to follow a recipe. WHen my son visits me every other weekend, we eat well: the last visit's dinner was broiled scallops and King Crab legs, basmati rice, green beans and shitake mushrooms.

    2. Iron. As in, iron clothes. Sharp creases.

    3. Clean. Maybe not "eat of the floor" clean, but the house should be spic and span and presentable. And the bathrooms should be clean.

    Learn this stuff. Share in the work at home. Impress your wife/girlfriend.

    That is all.

  • At 5:26 PM, Blogger Woozie said…

    Because as a woman your place is in the kitchen. We bring the bacon home, and you cook it for us. Be grateful you get the leftovers :)

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