Sunday, August 12, 2007
Husband Exterminator Services
Nothing gets your blood flowing than opening up your laundry hamper and have a 4" roach fly right at you!

The rich, the poor and the dirty, the clean - nobody is immune to the dreaded Palmetto bug.

7AM this morning our unwelcomed guest made his first and final debut. After a hot shower and shave I proceeded to toss my towels in the hamper and lo an behold, there it was. Sitting there on top of yesterday's worn sweaty socks like it was his own personal hang-out.

Then it hissed at me! Or maybe it was the sound of it's wings. I have no idea, but trust me there was a noise involved as this giant tried to dive bomb me. I was completely vulnerable and dressed in only a towel and without a shoe in sight to defend myself.

Now men don't scream nor do we shriek in a moment such as this. Instead we tend to keep our calm and use plenty of expletives. Which I proudly did with passion as that creepy bug flew around the bathroom hissing and making that "tic" sound each time it landed on the counter, ceiling or sink.

My only means of defense was my wet towel wrapped around me from my earlier shower. I wound, aimed and snapped at that bugger managing to bring down the window curtain and breaking the toothbrush holder in the process. A sure signal to my wife and daughter that I may be in distress.

In the bathroom my family came and out the bathroom door the roach escaped. Squirt ran back into the living room screaming, "It's going to eat me!" I'm still not sure while recalling this evening if she meant the Palmetto bug or my naked backside.

Either way, my family troops were deployed and armed to the hilt with available shoes and me with my snapper towel. 10 minutes and a bedroom of destruction later I finally delighted in the sound of it's crunch as I 'moab bombed' his crunchy carcass into oblivion.

My wife than scraped it up with a tissue and flushed it down the toilet. I can't tell if she's angry at me or not, but she is still looking at me quite strangely and quietly this evening. Maybe I should have helped her put the bedroom back together?

- submitted by Gon
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 9:36 PM  
7 Comments:
  • At 10:30 AM, Blogger Woozie said…

    My mom would have gotten the gun.

     
  • At 11:34 AM, Blogger Jill said…

    In my house I am the defender of the house as neither my husband or stepdaughter want to take aim at any multi-legged creature. I have killed scorpions with bottoms of spray cans, smashed roaches with shoes and saved frogs, and lizards. Now where did I put my cape?

     
  • At 12:58 PM, Blogger Flyinfox_SATX said…

    Maybe the wife was a bit upset more about the fact that he used his wet towel that was wrapped around him and went off killing this thing with his johnson flapping all over the place. Things that make ya go Hmmmmmm....

    Flyinfox_SATX

     
  • At 5:54 PM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    He would have died in my first parsonage. We shot a roach on the wall next to the door frame with an insect spray and the wall turned black as they poured out of the door frame. They were wood roaches.

     
  • At 11:15 AM, Blogger LoryKC said…

    Those palmetto bugs DO hiss!
    *shudder*

     
  • At 2:06 AM, Blogger Lavender said…

    I usually squish the scorpions with a flyswatter, or whatever is handy. unless they are floating in my sink, while washing dishes, pretending to be dead, so that when I try to dump it out of the dish dreainer, it comes alive and escapes into the garbage. Then I get out the spray can!

    I would freak out if I saw a roach in my house. Totally. (We also have black widows on the front porch, fire ants on the back one,sand fleas in the sand box, and in the yard, cute little green lizards under our a/c unit, and tiny tree frogs on outside our windows, ginormous dragonflies in the garden and hummingbirds-everywhere.I live in a forest.)

     
  • At 1:16 AM, Blogger Darth Daddy said…

    Palmetto bugs, water bugs - whatever you call them, they don't need to be in MY house. We're started to get them ever since the neighbor created a large wood pile. I keep trying to tell myself "They really don't count as 'roaches' " but they still must die.
    Now I love bugs - and rescue most, setting them free. But this last one teased me for 2 hours one day as I destroyed the kitchen trying to kill it.
    I found it the next day, and went in for the kill. I maimed it - and ended up cuttign up my hand as it banged into/broke everything around it.

    Damn 4 inch bugs!!

     
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