Thursday, May 10, 2007
A Long Meme
Judy from World of Dreams has tagged me with a super duper long meme.



1. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Hillary Clinton. She scares me.

2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?

Tom Petty.

3. Who would you really just like to punch in the face?

Nobody. I don't like to hit because getting hit back hurts.

4. What is your favorite cheese?

Vermont Extra Sharp White Cheddar

5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?

Pepperoni and Mozzerella cheese on a bagel. Warmed up just until the cheese starts to ooze.

6. You, Elvis, and Princess Diana are in a dog sled, fleeing across the Siberian wasteland with wolves in hot pursuit. The wolves are catching up fast. Who would you throw out to gain speed and why?

Elvis. Only because it is said, "Music can tame a wild beast."

7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no strings attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity?

The Verizon Man pictured above.

8. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?

Keith Urban.

9. Now that you've slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a one hundred dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy Shit. How are you gonna spend it?

Fragrance Oils.

10. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

Durban, South Africa to party the night away with Hanlie.

11. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another one hundred dollar bill. Now that you are in a new location, what are you gonna do?

Buy Hanlie the dress she's always dreamed of.

12. Your dream date. Who, where, and why?

My husband, singing karaoke together because his deep voice vibrates my labia.

13. An angel appears out of heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is?

Tequila.

14. Okay, girls and gay guys stand over here, guys and lesbians, over there. Girls and gay guys first: You're in bed with Marilyn, Monroe, Doris Day, and Salma Hayek. Who's gonna be the lucky girl? And similarily, guys and lesbians: You're in bed with Cary Grant, Paul Newman, and Johnny Depp. Who's gonna be the lucky guy? Give your reasons.

I'll sit this one out, I don't do fish.

15. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time traveling/phone booth. you can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?

May 1986, my High School Graduation. I'm going to snag my diploma and with my saved babysitting money fly up to New Hampshire and find my soulmate before we both waste 12 years of our lives.

16. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule that you put into place?

We do not trade nor negotiate with America.

17. You have been given the opportunity to create the half hour TV show of your dreams. What is it called and what is its premise?

Mobile Home Mayhem. The everyday drama of Trailer Park living.

18. What is your favorite curse word?

Shit. It can be used in so many different ways. "Oh Shit." "You're shitting me." "What's that shit?" "You stupid shit." "Don't give me shit." "Don't give a shit."

19. You have a choice of two doors. One of which you MUST go through. The first leads to a roomful of spiders, the second to a roomful of clowns. Which is it to be?

Spiders. I don't do clowns.

20. Your house is on fire. You have just enough time to run in there and grab one inanimate object. So what's the item?

My Teddy Bear.

21. One night, you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by mummies. The mummies aren't really doing anything, they're just standing around your bed. What do you do?

What I always do. Just roll over and go back to sleep.

22. You have George W.Bush and Osama bin Laden locked in a small room together. It's airtight, so both are gonna suffocate anyway, but what amusing weapon do you give them?

The Cunt Crusher 2000 Double Donger.

23. The angel of death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the angel of death is pretty cool and in a good mood and it offers you a half hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. What are you going to do in that half hour?

With my luck, laundry.

24. Truthfully, what underwear are you currently wearing?

Ribbon trimmed white cotton with lilac flowers.

25. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good and what's even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice. What is it going to be?

X-ray vision.

26. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time span can only be a half hour, though. What half hour of your past would you like to experience again?

The first half hour I met my husband Jon face to face.

27. Moses trips on his robe and drops the stone tablets. Commandment 11 is broken off. He leaves it there as his back is killing him. What does it say?

Slow moving traffic stay in the right lane.

28. You can erase any horrible experience of your past. What will it be?

My week long nervous breakdown of 9/11/01.

29. You get kicked out of the country for being a time traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super powers. But, you can move to anywhere else in the world. What country are you going to live in now?

That island that was given to me in question number 16.

30. What part of your body would you change and why?

The parts of my body that have hair and do not need to have hair. Shaving is such a dreadful chore.

31. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it going to be?

The Sushi Bar.

32. What's the last thing you ate?

A piece of Chocolate Truffle cheesecake.

33. Suddenly you have gained the power to float. Who are you going to show this to first?

My daughter because she would get such a kick out of it.

34. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radio-active vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the power to resurrect the dead celebrity of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?

John Candy. Since his death there hasn't been many truly funny and decent comedy movies made.

35. The celestial gates of Beyond have opened. Much to your surprise, Death appears. As it turns out, once again, Death is actually a pretty cool entity and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family member/person of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

My Great Grandfather.

36. What's your theme song?

"Here we go again." Whitesnake.

37. When did you last have sex?

Perhaps a better question would be when was the last time sex had me?

38. Buffy, Willow, or Xander?

Eh? What are they, names for pets?

39. Who's up next?

Monique, Mike Woodward and Rob.

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