 All my life I knew he was out there. My Prince Charming. Mr. Right. My Soul Mate.
It was those little matters that I didn't know that drove impatient me, crazy - for almost 32 years.
Where was he? What was his name? When would I finally meet up with him?
Most humbling was after many years, I finally found Mr. Perfect. The nice bod, hip car, awesome job, smart and yet sensitive - the acme of perfection and the type of guy you bring home to meet your parents .... but he dissed me.
Yup, you've heard right - dissed me. Gave me the ole', "You're a wonderful friend" routine and sing song. I was fun, energetic, smart and daring but according to Mr. Perfect - not the kind of girl you bring home to meet his parents.
No, I was divorced and not a virgin. I wore white shoes after Labor Day and didn't give a hoot what anyone had to say about it. I put beans in my chili, which was too hot and spicy. Kept frosty mugs ready in my freezer in the event of a cold beer. Had the audacity to grab a guy by the ears and fart on his head.
Nope, I may have met Mr. Perfect - but I was sure not anything close to Ms. Right.
More like Ms. So Wrong and Totally Twisted.
I awakened to the reality that I've been searching for the wrong type of guy all of these years. There is someone out there for everyone but in order to match - I had to find Mr. So Wrong and Totally Twisted.
Believe me, there were a LOT of strong contenders out there but I found Mr. So Wrong and Totally Twisted disguised as a serious, smart and hardworking IT guy up in New Hampshire. Never in my wildest dreams would I have imagined my soul mate would be such a nerd.
Funny thing about those computer geek types, they're closeted freaks of the worse imaginable kind. They like their chili hot and to cool it down with a frosty mug of beer. They don't mind if you grab 'em by the ears while wearing a pair of white high heels after Labor Day. They aren't afraid of their parents when they bring home a buxom blond for they live for the moment to have their Dad pat them on the back and say, "Way to go, son!"
Six years ago today I nailed such a guy. Mr. So Wrong and Totally Twisted and Mr. Right for me. I've been nailing him ever since and loving every moment of it.
Happy Anniversary Jon and don't worry about flowers or taking me out to dinner tonight. How about we make a hot and spicy pot of chili with me wearing nothing but those white high heels?Labels: Love and marriage |
Nothin' quite like a hot bowl of chili and a hot mama for desert. ;-)