"Two deep-diving Russian mini-submarines dropped a titanium capsule containing the nation's flag on the bottom, symbolically claiming almost half of the planet's northern polar region for Moscow."
No, no, no, no. I don't think so. According to historical tradition the proper way to symbolically claim a chunk of terra-firma is to physically and in person stake your countries flag until it stands up out of the ground on it's own. To do otherwise constitutes a wimpy, cheating maneuver.
Fly by night littering of a titanium capsule doesn't count. America didn't just fly over the moon and slam dunk our flag onto it's surface. You're supposed to walk a few steps and say a few choice words. Popping up a YouTube video of the event may even make believers out of us.
Good try Russia, but come on. You're Russia for Pete's sake. I'd expect better.
Fly by night littering of a titanium capsule doesn't count.
Amen, sister.
I can't believe this sh*t. As you said, I expect better from Not-So-Soviet Russia.