Sunday, May 27, 2007
Lovely Spam, Wonderful Spam
"Lovely spam, wonderful spa-a-m,
Lovely spam, wonderful S Spam,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
Spa-a-a-a-a-a-a-am,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
SPA-A-A-A-A-A-A-AM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPAM, LOVELY SPAM,
LOVELY SPA-A-A-A-AM...
SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-AM, SPA-A-A-AM!"
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . - Monty Python "Spam" Lyrics

I'm having issues with email spam this morning. Believe it or not I actually miss the "Margiemix you TOO can enlarge your penis" spams. Especially the ones that guarantee that I'll have a strapping giant bird within 14 days or my money back.

My spam detector has been working very well for the past few months, but it seems every now and then a mother-load of spam is able to get through because the email is cloaked in some strange way.

Lately it has been offers from business cards and printer ink to HDTV's and Pharmaceuticals. Lest we not forget our delightful and persistent friends from Nigeria who say they have $15 Million USD stuck in an account somewhere and choose people like me, a trailer park resident; to assist them in getting it back.

Then this morning, slumped here before my computer checking my email with eyes half open. While the coffee pot gurgled behind me as my gut gurgled in preparation for my ritual morning constitution. Up pops this lovely, wonderful bit of spam:


I lost at least 10 pounds after reading it!

Seriously, just look at those key words: Colon, Cleanse, Tired, Flush and Eliminate made my tired brain process the commands, hit enter and sent me in a mad rush to the bathroom.

Thank heavens I made it in time, but just barely. After yesterday's backyard BarBQu'in and consuming mass qualities of grilled chicken, corn, macaroni salad, dawgs, watermelon and roasted mushmellows...

...should I mention the ice cold beer and those delicious Margarita's chock loaded with Tequila?

Maybe I better not.

Advertising has finally reached the point of virtual reality. For if you can watch a burger commercial and your tummy actually growls...

If a "Girls Gone Wild" commercial can actually give you a strapping giant woodpecker...

Or if a Colon Cleansing spam email sends you racing to the toilet....

Be afraid. Be VERY Afraid.
Stumble It! .......posted by Margaret @ 11:40 AM  
7 Comments:
  • At 12:01 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Too much doll!!! :)
    Love Hanlie

     
  • At 8:29 PM, Blogger Dr.John said…

    I am afraid. Very afraid. But I wasn't till I read your blogt.

     
  • At 11:54 PM, Blogger Deepak Gopi said…

    I always get lot of spams regarding winning of lotteries and green card.

     
  • At 7:55 AM, Blogger Flyinfox_SATX said…

    I sometimes wonder if the Spammers get spammed. That would be poetic justice.

    Flyinfox_SATX

     
  • At 11:03 AM, Blogger Georgia Peach said…

    Woooo, Woooo, your eyes are closing very slowly, woooo, watch the clock pendulum swing, wooo, you are almost asleep, wooo, you are under my spell oh, little sugar one. I am your nemesis, you are my quail. Stay down and rest, my pretty, woooo, here it is, my trusty woody, by the cracky, it won't hurt a bit!

    WHACK! Damn that ball should have went 400 yards that f--king spammer lied about this golf club being all the wood I needed. What were you thinking? I should have tried the lottery one, I been had, again!

    Have a great one!

    Hugs, GA Peach

     
  • At 4:24 PM, Blogger South of the Gnat Line said…

    THAT is hilarious......I can SO relate......I be afeared.....

    ;-)
    Harriette

     
  • At 5:36 PM, Blogger Orhan Kahn said…

    You should smack that woman, in the picture, in the face with a frying pan

     
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